will tears ruin the keyboard?

[warmhandedcanadian]

I have fuckin had it.

[seamonster66]

no they won't. Sorry Jessica

[andcrs2]

Keeps the keys from sticking.

What's up? *can be considered token question if desired*

[warmhandedcanadian]

I just saw D ... why am I torturing myself? I cant even explain how much this is hurting me .. now he is indifferent. Cruel.

[seamonster66]

and you are going to be moving on when you let yourself, he can fuck off for being pathetic

[andcrs2]

It sucks but there is a time to
start wearing the 'let's get this over with' face...
and, more importantly, realize it's over.

The past is in the past.
Gotta start looking to the future.

[warmhandedcanadian]

you're right. I asked him why he said he was gonna get me home and that i have nothing ot be sorry for .... he said he didnt know I told him he used me and he said I used him too ... fuck.

I told him he's still an addict and in denial.

I have to get ovver this. He's not wearing his ring, he slept in a hotel on the weekend for his grad.... he changed the answering machine.... why do I care? Fuck I cant take this.... I want to kill him.

[seamonster66]

kill him, but not literally

tell the lawyer about his drug use if you want your kids back

[warmhandedcanadian]

Yeah its only pot now though..... he can say I do it too right? And I met a stranger on the net ... etc.

[daisymae]

Yep, don't do him any favours...

It's all still so fresh, you have every business being upset..you just need time.

[Samhain]

first of all, have a good cry, you need need to justify it or explain it.
you also need to take time to reflect on where you want to go from here, you obvousily still have feelings for him, which I think is very normal and naturel, but you have to start getting your head clear now about what is right for you (and this could be different to what you want) and what is best for your children.
he has put you in a position where you can only do this for yourself, i.e he's not doing the healing with you.
I think it would be really postive for you to see a counsellour at the moment, you need to reclaim your strengh here and then diecide what you need to do
S

[warmhandedcanadian]

I dont not have the kids,.... I just dont have a home and my parents are nuts.

[seamonster66]

send evil vibes his way?

i don't know about there, but you can get a one bedroom apt for around 500 dollars a month here

[warmhandedcanadian]

I see a councellor on wednesdays.

[warmhandedcanadian]

sam curse him please.

I need to have sex.

(not related) hey are you going to chat or what?

[seamonster66]

I'll chat with you two after I get some food and beer, I'm alcoholic lately

[daisymae]

I wish I could go to chat...all I get is a red x.

I need to reinstall windows methinks.

[hippychickmommy]

I think it's only natural to be feeling the emotions you're having right now. I mean, heck, I know I sure would be.

You are going to make it through this, and make it through as a stronger person because of it. I know you're hurting right now, and yes, definitely allow yourself to grieve, vent, get it out, but don't keep it bottled up inside and don't let it take over you. It won't do you any good, you need to let it out, release that negative energy and heal. And it's going to happen. Not overnight, but it will.

Hang in there...and know that you've got many people here who care about you.

Many hugs Jess.

[warmhandedcanadian]

Hey thanks alot you guys I feel a little better... he just called me... I let him go.

[Samhain]

Hugs for a better day today Jess
S

[warmhandedcanadian]

Today was better although I still did come crying ..... ah no biggie, they were angry tears.

[andcrs2]

Progress... *s*

[warmhandedcanadian]

Progress... *s*
damn you're right!

[andcrs2]

I've always said you were a smart cookie but you wouldn't listen.

Believe me now? *L*

[warmhandedcanadian]

:H You sound like god.

[andcrs2]

Someone's being silly.

Alien perhaps but not that...