warmhandedcanadian
05-19-2006, 06:38 AM
I went to the elder lastnight. We talked for awhile, I told him everything.... and I mean everything.
He said that women are sacred and I will (in his eyes) always be more special, valuable, and important. Especially seeing as I am a mother becuase there is nothing more valuable than that. Especially to my kids. He sees me with my children. He doesnt trust my husband, he says that he "knows men" and he "knows women" and basically I need to take care of number one. He said I need to take care of myself physically, mentally and spiritually at least until court June 1.... that means no pot, no drinking etc.
We talked about all the unhealthy people in my life. He told me how they think "I'm shit" but I need to love myself, cause that's really all that we have. He says they hate me because they hate themselves.
He told me about people who find religion, or AA, or like Don (schooling) think they are superior to others and become fanatics. They feel good putting others down bc they "overcame" their issues and are "perfect" etc.
(this is not ver batem)
He told me stories, not about me but they applied to me.... about addicitons, rock bottoms, and choices people have to make for themselves.
So... I need to get strong for me, cause my kids need me.... he got me to talk about each one of my kids. He told me that I will mess them up if I dont pull myself together. He said Kayla is hurting.
This is similar to the things you were saying in your blessing thread eh?
He made a sweat for me using a large heavy blanket I sat under it with a piece of cedar, and hot stones. He burned some sacred medicine made especially for me, he poured the medicine on the grandfather (stone) and I went underneath and smudged with it. It got really hot and he kept adding more medicine, then he poured water over it 3X. He sang while I was sweating and I let the smoke go into my ears especially as he told me to (I dont know why) and through all my orifaces in my face.... he wanted me to put it onto my chest as well.... places that need healing for me.
After the sweat I felt light headed but peaceful. I felt really clear. We talked some more. He said now I am his family.
So that's it. I am going to try hard to shut everything out from everyone else... all the negativity. It doesnt matter if Don will screw me over or not... I need to get strong for me and my kids.
this was my letter to Samhain ......... I just thought I'd share. I've already had a beer ... but as a beverage its ok right?
He said that women are sacred and I will (in his eyes) always be more special, valuable, and important. Especially seeing as I am a mother becuase there is nothing more valuable than that. Especially to my kids. He sees me with my children. He doesnt trust my husband, he says that he "knows men" and he "knows women" and basically I need to take care of number one. He said I need to take care of myself physically, mentally and spiritually at least until court June 1.... that means no pot, no drinking etc.
We talked about all the unhealthy people in my life. He told me how they think "I'm shit" but I need to love myself, cause that's really all that we have. He says they hate me because they hate themselves.
He told me about people who find religion, or AA, or like Don (schooling) think they are superior to others and become fanatics. They feel good putting others down bc they "overcame" their issues and are "perfect" etc.
(this is not ver batem)
He told me stories, not about me but they applied to me.... about addicitons, rock bottoms, and choices people have to make for themselves.
So... I need to get strong for me, cause my kids need me.... he got me to talk about each one of my kids. He told me that I will mess them up if I dont pull myself together. He said Kayla is hurting.
This is similar to the things you were saying in your blessing thread eh?
He made a sweat for me using a large heavy blanket I sat under it with a piece of cedar, and hot stones. He burned some sacred medicine made especially for me, he poured the medicine on the grandfather (stone) and I went underneath and smudged with it. It got really hot and he kept adding more medicine, then he poured water over it 3X. He sang while I was sweating and I let the smoke go into my ears especially as he told me to (I dont know why) and through all my orifaces in my face.... he wanted me to put it onto my chest as well.... places that need healing for me.
After the sweat I felt light headed but peaceful. I felt really clear. We talked some more. He said now I am his family.
So that's it. I am going to try hard to shut everything out from everyone else... all the negativity. It doesnt matter if Don will screw me over or not... I need to get strong for me and my kids.
this was my letter to Samhain ......... I just thought I'd share. I've already had a beer ... but as a beverage its ok right?