Turning your life around

[Samhain]

Have you turned your life around, how did you do it?
what advice would you give others who are in a diffficult situation?
S

[nimh]

hm, sometimes life is like a spiral for me, i think.

it seems like i've figured things out and that i've turned things around and then things will change again, and i'll find myself back in similar situations again, relearning lessons i thought i'd already mastered, but each time, facing the lesson from a slightly different angle and learning something else that i had missed the first time around.

http://www.sacredarch.com/FinalGraphics/shell_120by120.jpg

[fritz]

I have..Then I backslide, I've never done anything really by the rules.

Advice, be brutally honest with yourself about your motives, agendas, & emotions. Ask yourself questions. (harder than it sounds)
Try your best to pay more attention to your needs than wants. Don't put your wants before others needs.
Try to like yourself in the morning. ;) That's the best I've got.

[warmhandedcanadian]

Yeah I have, it flipped back on me.

[seamonster66]

I nearly killed myself through drugs about 8 years ago. Was seduced, then lead myself down a path of self destruction, which isolated me and fueled the fire. i recall one night walking home, and a hard caore punk girl tried to get me to go into a club to see some bands....I told her i would be right back, went into my apartment which sort of looked out on the city and nearly od'd. I kept falling into a dark hole, a sleep like state, but my heart was winding down. I made myself wake up and walked around the block for hours just to keep moving.

A few weeks later, some gutter metal guy was invited to my place by another aquaintance, and we proceeded to do what we were doing. All of a sudden the guy collapsed on the floor and we threw him in the bathtub and put cold water on him, he turned blue, we quickly rushed him outside and he looked dead....the other guy called for an ambulance and i ran to the nearby hospital. As the ambulance arrived he came to and said "where am I, where are my shoes?" I kicked him out, and went to my room and curled up into a ball for about 35 hours...the sun came up, the sun went down, the sun came up...

i ventured out into the bad side of town and threw my stuff into the dumpster.

I came back and lived a straighter life, however people kept coming by, day after day, pounding on my door..enticing me back into death. I was invited by my lifelong friend to move to california, finally one night I agreed. As i was cleaning my apartment, my phone rang non stop with a few people who wanted their last gasp with me...i resisted and resisted, finally met them with my car packed.....was comforted into staying for a few hours, then drove off into the sunset, and did not stop driving till I was 4 hours from LA, got a hotel.

Met my friend, and recuperated in his apartment. for...a year almost really. A truly kind friend, who is like a member of my family. I slowly came back to life, became myself again.....

flash forward to years later, and it all began there. I bottomed out and nearly lost my life, then shook the shocking memories, and bloomed once again. I never could have dreamed i could return from that road, and be someone respected by my family, someone who can achieve some success, someone who could find love, recover their soul, meet their nephew, hold it together.

There is something, whether it lives inside the individual or elsewhere, there is hope

[nimh]

Advice, be brutally honest with yourself about your motives, agendas, & emotions. Ask yourself questions. (harder than it sounds)yeah that is hard. reminds me of byon katie's "the work". it's all about finding the truth in situations and involves a lot of self questioning. it's realllllly hard to do.

[Hacker]

Well, I have had things pretty easy. sure bad things have happened, but all in all I have always been ok. Halfway through college I got complacent and lost my focus. I was having to make $20 buy food for 2 weeks, and working non-stop while going to school. I was working graveyard shift while attending classes during the day. I couldn't keep up. My schooling suffered for it. After a year of this my grades dropped so bad that I got put on probation. At the same time I had run up severe credit card debt. Maxed out 7 credit cards. Everything hit at once and I distinctly remember an exact moment where something came over me. I saw terrible things in my future, and I wasn't going to let that happen to me. I quit my job and took a major pay cut in order to work a day job elsewhere. I worked payments out with my credit cards. I re-focused. My next (and final) year of college I made the Honor Roll with a 4.0 and graduated with a BS. One month later I got hired where I still work now. Of course the pay increased and since then I have dug myself out of credit card debt, and am about 16 months from paying off my student loans as well.

I guess the moral to MY story is that it is so easy to get into a routine so much so that you don't think about the ways you might be hurting yourself just in the ways you are living. I thought I needed the job I had to survive. That was not the case. When you focus on something you want and really take the measures needed to make things happen, you can do it.

Yeah, I have always been thankful for the life I have, but I was so close to being in such a different place right now.

WHC, look at the big picture. Stay clean and focused on what you wants over the next few months. As with me, I saw that I had one year to go to finish school. One year that I had to sacrafice everything else in my life to get it done. Not that long.

Take a few months and give up some of the things you enjoy in life. In the long run it will save the most important needs in your life. I agree that mothers are the most beautiful people in the world, and I know that you can do this. Think about what is truely important to you in life.

Ok, I am done ranting.

:)

[Samhain]

thankyou everyone for your honesty, my story isn't quite as dramatic (for want of a better word) I moved out of home when I was 18, no I wasn't being abused, but I lived in the country where no one really understood me.
3 years earlier to this I was truely miserable my dad lost his job and we moved to Dorset, I got sent to an all boys school, because there wasn't anything else, I can honestly say i was bullied for two years and the most unhappy I have ever been, this ended in me being attacked one night walking home and we moved to Devon, where things got a bit better and at least the school I went to wasn't single sex.
here i got my first taste of witchcraft, looking back on it, it was nothing serious, but it was enough to tell me that that was the path I wanted to be on.
this takes us up to me being 18, where one of my friends suggested, that I move to Brighton, where she had gone to live for a few months and got me in touch with my boyfriend, who i am still with, 11 years later.
Brighton is very oepn to gay people, so I moved here and bummed around for a few years, went on benefits, they insisted after 2 or 3 years that i took a goverment sceme job in what amounted to little more than a pound shop.
here I got job experince but no pay other than my benefits, i ended up being on the payroll in the end for 3 years, I think its difficult when your in a steady job you don't really like, because on the other hand its safe as well.
but one day I took a leap of faith, did care work then went on to do my training, in september i will have been a trained nurse for 2 years.
my advice: be brave! take oppertunities when they come along.
I guess this is more my life story as opposed to turning my life around really
and Hacker you thought you had a rant!
S

[hippychickmommy]

Wow, that's an incredible story Gary. You have come a long way, and you should be proud!



I nearly killed myself through drugs about 8 years ago. Was seduced, then lead myself down a path of self destruction, which isolated me and fueled the fire. i recall one night walking home, and a hard caore punk girl tried to get me to go into a club to see some bands....I told her i would be right back, went into my apartment which sort of looked out on the city and nearly od'd. I kept falling into a dark hole, a sleep like state, but my heart was winding down. I made myself wake up and walked around the block for hours just to keep moving.

A few weeks later, some gutter metal guy was invited to my place by another aquaintance, and we proceeded to do what we were doing. All of a sudden the guy collapsed on the floor and we threw him in the bathtub and put cold water on him, he turned blue, we quickly rushed him outside and he looked dead....the other guy called for an ambulance and i ran to the nearby hospital. As the ambulance arrived he came to and said "where am I, where are my shoes?" I kicked him out, and went to my room and curled up into a ball for about 35 hours...the sun came up, the sun went down, the sun came up...

i ventured out into the bad side of town and threw my stuff into the dumpster.

I came back and lived a straighter life, however people kept coming by, day after day, pounding on my door..enticing me back into death. I was invited by my lifelong friend to move to california, finally one night I agreed. As i was cleaning my apartment, my phone rang non stop with a few people who wanted their last gasp with me...i resisted and resisted, finally met them with my car packed.....was comforted into staying for a few hours, then drove off into the sunset, and did not stop driving till I was 4 hours from LA, got a hotel.

Met my friend, and recuperated in his apartment. for...a year almost really. A truly kind friend, who is like a member of my family. I slowly came back to life, became myself again.....

flash forward to years later, and it all began there. I bottomed out and nearly lost my life, then shook the shocking memories, and bloomed once again. I never could have dreamed i could return from that road, and be someone respected by my family, someone who can achieve some success, someone who could find love, recover their soul, meet their nephew, hold it together.

There is something, whether it lives inside the individual or elsewhere, there is hope

[Samhain]

Wow, that's an incredible story Gary. You have come a long way, and you should be proud!
yeah i totally agree hippychick, all power to you Gary
S

[warmhandedcanadian]

Thank you to you all for sharing your stories, it's just amazing to see where we've all been and where we are now. Life is sacred, its a gift.... I have to remember that for myself.

[fritz]

Originally posted by nimh
yeah that is hard. reminds me of byon katie's "the work". it's all about finding the truth in situations and involves a lot of self questioning. it's realllllly hard to do.Never heard of it.
Learning why you do things goes a long way towards understanding why others do things. Helpful skill.

[seamonster66]

thanks for reading and responding...and noting that life is sacred, no matter what don't succumb to extreme pessismism, because it can spring back...if you LET it, which many people don't. They allow one event to make them a martyr and they suck on it for life, don't ever let that happen :D

[warmhandedcanadian]

thanks for reading and responding...and noting that life is sacred, no matter what don't succumb to extreme pessismism, because it can spring back...if you LET it, which many people don't. They allow one event to make them a martyr and they suck on it for life, don't ever let that happen :D
OMG that was totally happening to me I think. For a time after the incident I allowed myself to spiral down. Now with all the positive feedback I dig for - I have to say dig for because I have to look for it, it doesnt come easily. Everyone around me talks negatively, I have to search for innner peace it seems.... but now that I've decided that I have to fight and not just lay down and take the kicking, I feel calmer.

I have decided that life is still good. Damn I'm only 34. I still have many beer to drink and many gay men to love.

I really dont have to take what has been dealt to me.

[Samhain]

OMG that was totally happening to me I think. For a time after the incident I allowed myself to spiral down. Now with all the positive feedback I dig for - I have to say dig for because I have to look for it, it doesnt come easily. Everyone around me talks negatively, I have to search for innner peace it seems.... but now that I've decided that I have to fight and not just lay down and take the kicking, I feel calmer.

I have decided that life is still good. Damn I'm only 34. I still have many beer to drink and many gay men to love.

I really dont have to take what has been dealt to me.
you spiraled down and now your spiraling up in the sacred spiral:eek:
S

[Lying in a field]

ITs 10 times easier when you stop drinking and taking drugs.

[AshtonsMom]

Have you turned your life around, how did you do it?
what advice would you give others who are in a diffficult situation?
SI have just recently turned my life around, and it took a hard kick in the butt to do it. I hit rock bottom, but hitting rock bottom has gotten my head out of the clouds and made me realize what is important to me. so hitting the bottom is the best thing that has ever happened to me. so I would say that turning your life around all depends on how you recover from a situation.

[fritz]

Originally posted by warmhandedcanadian
Now with all the positive feedback I dig for - I have to say dig for because I have to look for it, it doesnt come easily. Everyone around me talks negatively, I have to search for innner peace it seems.... but now that I've decided that I have to fight and not just lay down and take the kicking, I feel calmer.I've been having a tough time staying positive lately. Seems like when I'm not being outright ignored, someone is looking to argue. At times, I have trouble determining if it's my perception that's off.
Sometimes I just feel bruised up, used up, & shit on. http://www.hipforums.com/forums/images/smilies/sad.gif

[warmhandedcanadian]

I've been having a tough time staying positive lately. Seems like when I'm not being outright ignored, someone is looking to argue. At times, I have trouble determining if it's my perception that's off.
Sometimes I just feel bruised up, used up, & shit on. http://www.hipforums.com/forums/images/smilies/sad.gif
Yeah. The elder told me that the only person I have is ME. Take care of yourself, and everything else will fall into place. People are shit, they are gonna be shit for years to come.

hugs

[seamonster66]

my life is turned around to the point where things are coming together all around me....things are so good that it makes me paranoid sometimes...just walking aound with a good feeling inside me a lot of the time...people are over-acknowledging me more than the opposite,

I think I was always struggling in my 20's, and I needed to calm down, and to not overthink things all of the time, it seems easier to have a great time and to get things done without a scramble

[dilligaf]

awesome thread folks,,,, i would just have to ask if original it was meant turned round in a physical mental type way,,, an overall type way spiritually n emotionally etc or just spritually.... .... just that in my life i have had moments in life where everything just began to make sense,,, and it wasnt an altogether type deal.... all were at different times ,, although when ya learn one way you also gain wisdom in many others,,,

[Hacker]

awesome thread folks,,,, i would just have to ask if original it was meant turned round in a physical mental type way,,, an overall type way spiritually n emotionally etc or just spritually.... .... just that in my life i have had moments in life where everything just began to make sense,,, and it wasnt an altogether type deal.... all were at different times ,, although when ya learn one way you also gain wisdom in many others,,,
Like an epiphany?

I love it when you suddenly see things in a new way. When something you never used to understand suddenly makes sense.

:)

[Wond'ringAloud]

At the present moment in time my dd1's life is spiralling downwards and we seem to be unable to help. To us it's very clear what she must do, but advice and help might not always be welcome, as we aren't always saying the things she wants to hear. Big blessing is dd2 who is staying with her at present. She has been in a far worse place than her sister, and during the past year has turned her life around amazingly, I think perhaps she had an epiphany, and Jen, if you read this, I am very, very proud of you.
I discovered a long time ago, that when you're down the choices are, to stay down and let life kick shit out of you, or drag yourself up and fight back. Perhaps dd1 will have to hit rock bottom before she has her epiphany...but i hope not.

[Samhain]

At the present moment in time my dd1's life is spiralling downwards and we seem to be unable to help. To us it's very clear what she must do, but advice and help might not always be welcome, as we aren't always saying the things she wants to hear. Big blessing is dd2 who is staying with her at present. She has been in a far worse place than her sister, and during the past year has turned her life around amazingly, I think perhaps she had an epiphany, and Jen, if you read this, I am very, very proud of you.
I discovered a long time ago, that when you're down the choices are, to stay down and let life kick shit out of you, or drag yourself up and fight back. Perhaps dd1 will have to hit rock bottom before she has her epiphany...but i hope not.
I think when you hit rock bottom, you learn so many lessons and a lot of people feel it was an ok place to be in after the fact because of what they learnt, of course it doesn't take away the fact that its bloody painful being there
S

[warmhandedcanadian]

I dont feel like I am learning a damn thing , except you cant trust anyone... even your best friend and lover.

Mind you that's what the elder said basically .........

[Hacker]

I dont feel like I am learning a damn thing , except you cant trust anyone... even your best friend and lover.

Mind you that's what the elder said basically .........
I trust everyone... I am such a mark.

[warmhandedcanadian]

I trust everyone... I am such a mark.I'm glad you still have that innocence! Don't lose it my child.

[Samhain]

I dont feel like I am learning a damn thing , except you cant trust anyone... even your best friend and lover.

Mind you that's what the elder said basically .........
hmmmm I'm not sure how I feel about an elder reinforcing ideas of not trusting anyone in you. to get through life you HAVE to trust people, you just have to be careful who you trust
S

[dilligaf]

i dunno ,,, i have always said n lived luv all trust noone,,, and have many aquaintances,,, few friends....i trust to verying degrees but never ever trust anyone as much as i trust in self.... therefore never wholly trust in anyone,,, doing so leads to unnecessary pain that in essence we bring upon ourselves...

[warmhandedcanadian]

hmmmm I'm not sure how I feel about an elder reinforcing ideas of not trusting anyone in you. to get through life you HAVE to trust people, you just have to be careful who you trust
S
Maybe that's just what I heard being in my frame of mind.

[seamonster66]

I trust people i feel i can trust, and for the most part that works for me. Generally when someone has fucked me over, its been in character and i would have seen it coming if i wanted to

[Mordecai]

I nearly killed myself through drugs about 8 years ago. Was seduced, then lead myself down a path of self destruction, which isolated me and fueled the fire. i recall one night walking home, and a hard caore punk girl tried to get me to go into a club to see some bands....I told her i would be right back, went into my apartment which sort of looked out on the city and nearly od'd. I kept falling into a dark hole, a sleep like state, but my heart was winding down. I made myself wake up and walked around the block for hours just to keep moving.

A few weeks later, some gutter metal guy was invited to my place by another aquaintance, and we proceeded to do what we were doing. All of a sudden the guy collapsed on the floor and we threw him in the bathtub and put cold water on him, he turned blue, we quickly rushed him outside and he looked dead....the other guy called for an ambulance and i ran to the nearby hospital. As the ambulance arrived he came to and said "where am I, where are my shoes?" I kicked him out, and went to my room and curled up into a ball for about 35 hours...the sun came up, the sun went down, the sun came up...

i ventured out into the bad side of town and threw my stuff into the dumpster.

I came back and lived a straighter life, however people kept coming by, day after day, pounding on my door..enticing me back into death. I was invited by my lifelong friend to move to california, finally one night I agreed. As i was cleaning my apartment, my phone rang non stop with a few people who wanted their last gasp with me...i resisted and resisted, finally met them with my car packed.....was comforted into staying for a few hours, then drove off into the sunset, and did not stop driving till I was 4 hours from LA, got a hotel.

Met my friend, and recuperated in his apartment. for...a year almost really. A truly kind friend, who is like a member of my family. I slowly came back to life, became myself again.....

flash forward to years later, and it all began there. I bottomed out and nearly lost my life, then shook the shocking memories, and bloomed once again. I never could have dreamed i could return from that road, and be someone respected by my family, someone who can achieve some success, someone who could find love, recover their soul, meet their nephew, hold it together.

There is something, whether it lives inside the individual or elsewhere, there is hope

I really enjoyed reading that.

[Raving Sultan]

Samhain, do you listen to Godsmack? you would like some of their lyrics

[Samhain]

Samhain, do you listen to Godsmack? you would like some of their lyrics
I think you need to explain because I can't tell if your being serious or not
S

[LuckyStripe]

Thanks for everyone that shared. Espiecially Seamonster. ;)

I'm debating whether to tell mine. I'll just say- I've been to hell and back again, more then twice.

[Samhain]

Thanks for everyone that shared. Espiecially Seamonster. ;)

I'm debating whether to tell mine. I'll just say- I've been to hell and back again, more then twice.
well don't fee pressured, if you feel comfortable to then do! and i agree Garys story was amazing
S

[LuckyStripe]

I'm not feeling pressured just compelled but thanks S. :)

[Raving Sultan]

I think you need to explain because I can't tell if your being serious or not
SI am being serious, godsmack is a wiccan band. heavy metal too

[Samhain]

I am being serious, godsmack is a wiccan band. heavy metal too
ok, do you fancy starting a new thread on here posting some lyrics then i can read them
S

[seamonster66]

please no!!!!!

[Samhain]

please no!!!!!
are you not in favour of this band Gary?
S

[seamonster66]

that is correct

I can only tolerate old heavy metal like black sabbath, and early metallica