My son is obsessed with death...

[daisymae]

I have lost both maternal grandparents in the last year and a half. Both were fairly sudden and the family has had a tough time dealing with it.

On to my point... with all this death happening, my 4 year old now talks about it all the time. He doesn't seem upset at all, just asking the same questions over and over, and bringing it up at the wrong time. (like in front of my mother :eek: )

He told me a "joke" he made up today....

Q: Why did the chicken close its eyes when it wasn't sleeping?

A: Because it died.

I have to admit, when he left the room, I giggled a bit at myself because I DID NOT see that coming at all...

I have trouble explaining these sorts of things to my kids because I don't really have any beliefs and I just can't lie to them. What would you tell children about death as a pagan or witch? I lean more to nature that man-made gods so maybe that would help me a bit...

Sorry I wrote a novel...:D

[Hacker]

Do you believe in a living soul?

[daisymae]

I don't know...I guess I would like to believe that there is a consciousness that goes on after death...

[Hacker]

I don't know...I guess I would like to believe that there is a consciousness that goes on after death...
Ok, then there is a starting point. You don't have to get too deep here. Explain that there is a soul in each person that leave the body - this is death.

Do you believe that we can live with the souls of those that we knew in this life after death?

You have the answers in you, are you concerned that he will hear conflicting stories from other adults he encounters, such as in school etc?

[seamonster66]

maybe explain to him about "the spirit" it might help him...not getting too specific. I never dealt with death at an early age, so i'm not sure when and how it was explained to me

It takes 3 secnonds for an electrical charge to form when the sperm meets the egg, and 3 seconds for it to leave after the moment of death...ok that part may be a little mcuh, but i always find it comforting. :D

[daisymae]

You and your sperm, Gary...:D

I just never have felt comfortable with the whole God/Jesus/heaven/hell thing, so I have avoided it like the plague. My family is Christian and they were shocked and upset when I looked into wicca several years ago. So they are no help.

I guess I just need to talk it out a bit (or type, as the case may be) and decide where I stand.

Thanks for the replies..:D

[seamonster66]

I wouldn't teach him the christian heaven and hell thing, thats too juvenile for even a young child...plus they will latch on to the hell part and want to know more.

christianity is pathetic :D

[daisymae]

I find that Christianity is a little too "make it up as we go along"...

I want something to believe in that isn't based in scare tactics.

[seamonster66]

its too conveneient....good people go to a white place with wings and clouds, bad people go to a firey place with a red dinosaur with horns...he's already to old for that...and then there the whole non-believers going to hell, or purgatory....

I can't believe this is the religion that people take so seriously...what are they..retarded

i would teach about a soul though

[Hacker]

I want something to believe in that isn't based in scare tactics.
I totally agree with your point there.

I'm not gonna knock someone else's religious beliefs though. To each their own. No one has to be "right".

If you can sleep at night content with how you view the world spiritually, then who am I to say that you're wrong?

The fact is no one here knows who is right.

Why argue over something that can only be theorized about?

[seamonster66]

I don't argue, i just look down people who take it literally

[daisymae]

My other son is slightly autistic (asperger's syndrome) and has a little trouble understanding things that are not concrete...so it could get interesting...:D

I like the idea of a soul. I also like the idea that we don't really know what happens....gives a bit of mystery.

[Hacker]

I don't argue, i just look down people who take it literally
No offense Gary, that was totally not a shot at you at all.

I actually agree with you on that. I don't mind if people take it literally, but it does bother me when they take it literally and then broadcast their beliefs to the world as truth.

;)

[Hacker]

My other son is slightly autistic (asperger's syndrome) and has a little trouble understanding things that are not concrete...so it could get interesting...:D

I like the idea of a soul. I also like the idea that we don't really know what happens....gives a bit of mystery.
It's weird because I really love my life all things considered. I don't wanna leave. At least not yet. But one day... when everyone I love has been taken from me?

wow, that took a depressing turn...

[daisymae]

It's weird because I really love my life all things considered. I don't wanna leave. At least not yet. But one day... when everyone I love has been taken from me?

wow, that took a depressing turn...
Sorry,...maybe my son could tell you a joke...;)

[Hacker]

Sorry,...maybe my son could tell you a joke...;)
haha!

Your story did kind of remind me of the boy in "What About Bob?" that was obsessed with death. Maybe the boy just needs to hang around with a crazy person to put things into perspective?

[daisymae]

I remember that kid...

That was a funny movie. :D

[seamonster66]

"I am GOING to die, you are GOING to die" :D

[daisymae]

haha :D

[Hacker]

Shit it ain't son of a bitch.
Numb nuts, douche bag, Twat!

If I fake it, I don't have it.

[Samhain]

I think its fine and normal for your son to be obsessed with death (wait a few years and he will be obsessed with sex :eek: ) the way I look at it its much better for things to be out in the open and discussed, fear and negative feelings build up when anyone of any age is restricted about talking about something, that being said I would say to him "you can talk about it as much as you like with mommy, but some people find the subject upsetting, so don't talk about it infront of......."
this is what some pagans believe, if nothing else it makes a nice story that you can tell your son.
when someone dies they go across the silver seas to a place called summer land, where they rest and spend some time with the rest of their dead loved ones, in summer land no time and all time exists at once, if you look at the trees, all at once they are green, but the leaves have also gone brown And the trees are also bare.
dead souls are never punished for what they have done in life, however they cannot hide the true from the goddess, who with the soul diecides where and whom the soul will be reborn in once they have rested, so they can learn the lessons and put to right the things they have done wrong, in their next life.
a soul who has learned everything there is to know is an enlightened one, they can be reborn to share their knowledge with others, or simply rest in the summerland forever.
S

[daisymae]

Thank you. :)

[daisymae]

I know it is natural to be curious about death, but this kid is only 4 and he is telling me that one of the ways to die is by poison...he's putting way too much thought into it.

I told him that poison is not a natural or normal way to die and you can't give someone poison...so he says what if they want to drink it themselves?

I am at a loss for words sometimes....

[Samhain]

I know it is natural to be curious about death, but this kid is only 4 and he is telling me that one of the ways to die is by poison...he's putting way too much thought into it.

I told him that poison is not a natural or normal way to die and you can't give someone poison...so he says what if they want to drink it themselves?

I am at a loss for words sometimes....
Like insanejestor says I really think he's just trying to get his head around this issue.
that being said this is hard, I think maybe saying that the hope is that people will lead long lives and not die early, have you asked him who he means when he mentions that someone wants to drink posion?
S

[warmhandedcanadian]

I found that when I am at peace spiritually, I never have a problem discussing death with the kids. Now that I'm feeling somewhat disconnected, death even gets scary for me. I rememebr when I was a kid being afraid of dying, thinking I would be buried and feeling clostrophobic. I tell my kids that its the most wonderful thing, where you are with your creator, you feel at home, and you are never apart from your family because we will still exist even after our "containers" that hold us are gone.

[Samhain]

I found that when I am at peace spiritually, I never have a problem discussing death with the kids. Now that I'm feeling somewhat disconnected, death even gets scary for me. I rememebr when I was a kid being afraid of dying, thinking I would be buried and feeling clostrophobic. I tell my kids that its the most wonderful thing, where you are with your creator, you feel at home, and you are never apart from your family because we will still exist even after our "containers" that hold us are gone.
I love your honesty Jess, I think your children will get that from you too, which will be great
S

[hippychickmommy]

I just never have felt comfortable with the whole God/Jesus/heaven/hell thing, so I have avoided it like the plague. Boy, do you sound just like my husband and I. It's hard too because our oldest son has been getting stuff at school about heaven and God, that kind of thing, and really, we're not comfortable with that. Okay, that probably sounds ridiculous, but you know, I want my kids to form their own beliefs when it comes to that sort of thing, not be force-fed. But what can you do in a public school situation, where children talk, and even teachers give their thoughts on death and what happens afterwards?

Sometimes I feel guilty for being offended by the devoted Christians who spout off their Bible passages and "praise the Lord"s left and right. I actually feel like squirming uncomfortably because honestly, I have a lot of mixed emotions regarding the subject, as we tend to be more Pagan than anything else. But I say nothing. I figure they can have their beliefs, and I can have mine. Except I don't feel the need to subject everyone to my beliefs.

Anyway. ;)

About the whole death thing, I don't have any advice really. We haven't had much experience with that.

{{{Hugs}}}

[Hacker]

You're all going to hell...

or at least heck.

Gosh darn it...

[Samhain]

as pagans we don't need to force our beliefs, because generally we do not feel people will be punished for not being pagan when they die.
when children are old enough i think explaining that people have different religious views and that all should be respected, even if we don't agree is the best option.
S
Boy, do you sound just like my husband and I. It's hard too because our oldest son has been getting stuff at school about heaven and God, that kind of thing, and really, we're not comfortable with that. Okay, that probably sounds ridiculous, but you know, I want my kids to form their own beliefs when it comes to that sort of thing, not be force-fed. But what can you do in a public school situation, where children talk, and even teachers give their thoughts on death and what happens afterwards?

Sometimes I feel guilty for being offended by the devoted Christians who spout off their Bible passages and "praise the Lord"s left and right. I actually feel like squirming uncomfortably because honestly, I have a lot of mixed emotions regarding the subject, as we tend to be more Pagan than anything else. But I say nothing. I figure they can have their beliefs, and I can have mine. Except I don't feel the need to subject everyone to my beliefs.

Anyway. ;)

About the whole death thing, I don't have any advice really. We haven't had much experience with that.

{{{Hugs}}}

[daisymae]

You're all going to hell...

or at least heck.

Gosh darn it...:eek: If hell is where it's all fire and brimstone, is heck where you have to make paintings of dogs playing poker for eternity?

I don't want to go on the cart! :D

[warmhandedcanadian]

this thread was a good read. :)

[Samhain]

this thread was a good read. :)
This was one of the first threads we had on sacred spiral, very thought provoking, its good to have a trip down memory lane!
S

[erzebet1961]

OK..My 2 grandsons...my daughters sons, my daughter left their daddy...then He died...the babies who were 3 and 4 at the time were alone in the house with him for 24 hours AFTER he was dead..his mother went to see why she couldnt reach him...we had to get the babies . The oldest one remembers trying to wake his daddy up...and brings it up all the time. The youngest was found sleeping on his daddy, but doesnt remember, he repeats what he hears his brother saying. We have told them that daddy is in his new life, and they will see him again someday. We also take them to his grave and they talk to him and tell him what theyve been doing...and when we leave, they say bye daddy.

[Samhain]

OK..My 2 grandsons...my daughters sons, my daughter left their daddy...then He died...the babies who were 3 and 4 at the time were alone in the house with him for 24 hours AFTER he was dead..his mother went to see why she couldnt reach him...we had to get the babies . The oldest one remembers trying to wake his daddy up...and brings it up all the time. The youngest was found sleeping on his daddy, but doesnt remember, he repeats what he hears his brother saying. We have told them that daddy is in his new life, and they will see him again someday. We also take them to his grave and they talk to him and tell him what theyve been doing...and when we leave, they say bye daddy.
gosh, so powerful, how long ago was that and if I may ask, what did he die of?
I feel that you are a very open family about death, the boys are lucky its all so open, its unhealthy not to be
S

[erzebet1961]

He died December 7 , 2004....He had a massive coronary and was gone before he hit the floor...which , I was thankfull for, because if he had lingered, it would have been horrible worrying over his babies that were there with him , but unable to get to the phone !! The boys know he is still around...and we encourage them to talk about him as much as they like.

[Samhain]

He died December 7 , 2004....He had a massive coronary and was gone before he hit the floor...which , I was thankfull for, because if he had lingered, it would have been horrible worrying over his babies that were there with him , but unable to get to the phone !! The boys know he is still around...and we encourage them to talk about him as much as they like.
I repeat, they are lucky to live in a household thats so open about death
S

[warmhandedcanadian]

wow.... that is shocking! How does your daughter feel about her kids going through this? I'm glad you could get there to get them out of the houe.