RxHEAD = Reason for Screen Name

[RxHEAD]

I have never really introduced myself in the big list of forums, thinking too many people to introduce myself to. The reason I call myslef RxHEAD, is because my head or my mind has not been that of my own since 1994 when I was 21 years old.

I was a Nursing student, and one day during the winter time after a couple of years of abuse, trauma, homelessness, and all sorts of things that occured in the name of love of another led me to insanity. I went out to start my car to go to work for my weekend 25-hour shifts within 48-hours time, and the car would not start.

I lost it. I THOUGHT I would do the best thing. HA! for me and get some help as I had took a hammer to the dashboard and all the windows of the car, and was over 60-miles one way comute to work and was having a nervous breakdown (told there is no such thing as a nervous breakdown).

I went to talk to some lady about my problems and my INSURANCE information and signed my name on a clipboard on Jan 21 of year 1994. I did not know I was signing away my natural brain function to date.

I did not know I would be locked inside a ward, and not able to get out. I recall that first night before anyone even talked to me about why I was there, a nurse telling me it was time for my medication? I questioned the Blue Dalmane Capsule...she said would help me sleep. I told her I didn't have trouble sleeping. I had the right to agree to disagree.

Time passed, By around day 30 the insurance was at a max. 10,000 US dollars limit for stay. After many meds and injections later went to a group home, no one said go back to school. I tried going back to work only was more overmedicated than the patients I was careing for.

Now 12-years later a bunch of mental health 'billable hours or Billable years" have passed and my mind is consumed by + Rx = Prescription Medications. I took my morning meds a while ago? I know this as the "Wed AM" Box is empty. HEAD = what has been decompensated to levels of functioning from a personality of an 8-year old to that of an Elderly man all while in my birthdate states that I am 33-years old.

So, from the double of my admission weight in 94 to now, and never allowed therapy as ("therapy does not benifit schizophrenic's") told for so long now I am dying or feel I am most the time have CNS damage and so much memory loss I keep a cigarette lighter duct taped to a 'telephone cord' keychain as well as an ink pen the same around my neck as I lose things and forget where thigs are so mcuh.

I am missing my mouse pad right now so I am using a bible thinking it will protect the computer. any way i have to hurry or the computer will cut me off cause I am here too long. So RX = theses meds now.

Adderal XR -2- 20mg caps morning, Artane 5mg 3 x day, Baclofen 5mg 3 x day, Effexor XR -2- 150mg capsules a morning, Valium 10mg 4 x day, Risperdal 3mg 2 x day, Lasix 40mg every morning, Potassium Chloride 10MEQ 2 x day, Lisinipril 10mg every morning, Synthroid 75mcg every morning, MS Contin 100mg 2x day, Zelnorm 6mg 2x day, glycolax powder 17grams mixed with 8oz juice every night, Protonix 40mg every morning, Zyrtec 10mg every morning, Ecotrin 325mg every morning, Oxycodone HCL 15mg 5 x day, and Methadose 5mg 4x day...and I keep thinking I am forgetting one.

And this all started with a blue capsule in 1994 to "help me sleep". I skipped alot of stuff in between only cant remember many things on demand. Thanks for letting me tell you about me, now I hafta hurry before the computer people here get mad at me and disconect my intorduction, this is all making me anxius and I need to be quiet now about me.

[trippedelia]

yeah, rx's can be very fucked up, especially if they mae you take drugs that you didnt want to. im sorry for you man, but youve still got a long long time to live, hope one day it all sorts out ok

[AreYouExperienced]

I'm deeply concerned for your state of being. Please send me all of your oxycodone and methadose pills so that I can properly dispose of them.

[RxHEAD]

I'm deeply concerned for your state of being. Please send me all of your oxycodone and methadose pills so that I can properly dispose of them.

:& only if it were even legal to do so, then I would be in horrible pain and would in turn be deeply concerned that you may dispose of them via. self oral ingestion!
:p so, your deep concern would only lead me into self induced deep concern about your wellbeing, so no need to add concern to concern. Peace- (my meds have kicked in and now I am off the trip of that thread, at least for now.)
I am now having chest pains and wondering if it is due to GERD or if I forgot to take my Protonix pill earlier, or if I am having Cardiac Problems?

[fulmah]

That’s a hefty list for a schizophrenia regimen. If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly have you been diagnosed with and are you in a psychosocial setting (specialized group home)?

[lynsey]

wow you're not on any typical anit paranoia ro hallucinin drugs, which is odd for a person with schizophrenia. What type of schizophrenia do you have? My uncle has severe paranoid schizophrenia and you don't seem to have it at all. What state do you live in? Rhis all seems so odd.
I am sorry you are going through this):

[fulmah]

wow you're not on any typical anit paranoia ro hallucinin drugs, which is odd for a person with schizophrenia.
Risperdal is an antipsychotic.... and when it starts getting up into the 6mg a day dosage, some intense side effects usually start going up (intense is probably an understatement) which the artane and baclofen are probably prescribed to alleviate. Unless there's something like parkinson's on top of schizophrenia, or something else that causes muscle spasms. That's all simply a guess... hopefully Rx will be back by soon and will clarify.

[RxHEAD]

I am not in a group home any more. I was in a Group Home for all together for about 5-years total. Now I live in an apartment. I have a Cat and She is my best friend. I dont know about having schizophrenia, I know that I have many issues of 'Identity', The last Therapist I did have, said to me that she felt that I did not have an 'Identity' as far as my own, that I have yet to establish an identity of my own.

I have much to be thankful for. I today for the first time in about 4-days had a bowel movement and from that I feel so much better. I know it sounds really stupid to be so thankful for a bowel movement. (one of my OCD issues is mainly on my health and bowel habits). I finally was able after days of rectal fleets enemas and 2-10oz bottles of magnesium citrate, bisacodyl rectal Suppository's prescription Mirilax powder, to finally use 1.5 oz of FLEET® PHOSPHO®-SODA to have massive bowel movements, yet the pain in my right side under my ribs are still there.

Mainly I have some of so many different Pshyche symptoms and with that being on Medicare and Medicaid, am treated as psychosomatic. Easy to say- "get a new doctor"-"get a better therapist"-"on and on"

This is a new time of healthcare. A system which needs to just remove the word 'care' from the term 'healthcare". Because I am on my own here to do all I can to not only maintain in independant living, to remain alive. ADL's are a huge challenge for me.

The reason I have to take the pain medication is because I have in my neck, degenerative disc disease as well as spinal stenosis. The MRI from 2003 compared to the one in 2005, showed progression in the narrowing of the central canal in the C6-7 and C4-5. This I guess is why I can not sleep in a bed or laying down and have to sleep in a recilining chair.

I dont expect anyone to feel sorry for me, rather to take a look at the neglect in general of the doctors in the US when you do not have money or even have Medicare or Medicaid and the ways of being overlooked. This is the personality of me in the real life here and now. The responsible personality that is much to AWARE of my condition and the way I am treated.

For example, the other day I had an appointment with a dermatologist and thsi dermatologist accepts ONE medicaid patient per day in her office. I was well AWARE that in being such by some to say "lucky to have gotten in to see her". I am LUCKY to be seen for chronic skin ulcers and abcesses which have been cauisng such infection, I have had to take antibiotics like Augmentin to stop the 'staph' infection. Only on this LUCKY visit the doctor was mean to me. I am fat. She was doing the examination and was looking under my stomach and then said "Cant you help me out here and hold up your stomach?" in a pissed off tone. I did not know she wanted me to do that, and would have done so had I been told.

So I had this wart on my finger. She took or grabbed my hand took a razorblade and started scraping it off, ouch I said. She then took a big can of something and was spraying this stuff on where she cut the wart half the way off and it hurt. She said "this will swell and just let it alone". So that was the other day. Today it just looks red and ugly.

I have no follow up with her. She gave me prescriptions for the acne and sores some body wash and some wipes, I have not got them filled yet, too worried that the insurance wont pay and dont even remember where they are at.

Today my mental health worker showed up at our appointment time. I told her I just woke up at that moment. She said ok, I will come back on Tuesday. So I did not or she did not care enough to come inside and visit with me today. I think I am glad anyway as I know the apartment is trashed from me losing things and then looking for them over and over again.

Any way, I am just to glad to have been able to finally go to the bathroom and think the meds are working better and now I am done thinking of all the real things that I am not able to cope with and my mind wants to do other things and stop being so damn AWARE of every thing. People think it is stupid to be on food stamps and then to pay 15.00 for 8 pounds of cat food when the cat does more for me than any other of those damn people getting paid all that fucking money to do nothing but make me feel more stupid than I already do. Damn what is up with that any way. Thanks for listening. I may deny having even wrote all that anyway.