Ocd

[RELAYER]

Supposedly I got it, anyone else have it? I dont think I have it that bad, just like counting certain numbers over and over again in my head, but not like I have to wash my hands a million times or touch things a million times. My friends sister almost was killed by her boyfriend who has this really bad last night, luckily he didnt shoot her just threatned to and wigged out for a couple hours.

[-Luke-]

I used to count numbers over and over in my head too! Everything had to be in even amounts or I'd get all anxious.. but it's faded as I've grown older.

[RELAYER]

Daym your lucky! For me it's odd numbers, mostly 7, 17, 49, they are my favorite!

[Climbing Arms of Ivy]

Yes I have it like this too. Counting certain things over and over but I don't have it so bad like you see some people on TV that have it so bad it consumes hours and hours of there life or some of those people who have OCD about washing their hands and about germs. I still gets annoying.

[RELAYER]

yea me too

[lynsey]

I love 5 and 25...a lot a whole lot d:

[trippedelia]

i have it, especially when im on drugs and forget to control it. like ill go to the sink and go to have a drink but just be waiting there for like 15 minutes while i tap the sink and tap on the taps aand then im like ok what the fuck have i been doing this whole time. so i drink. and walk away, and damn it feels good to have stoped.

[Night_Owl49]

It's faded a lot for me...it's pretty much nonexistent now. 4 was my number of choice.

[interval_illusion]

i dont have the disorder but i have always had certain tendencies.. just not bad...

i remember in elementary school one of the teachers told us that at the water fountain to say "1, 2, 3, that's enough for me"... (cause she was sick of us kids taking too long)...

much much later on id notice myself drinking water saying that but adding another saying like that but always counting to threes.. can be very weird... but for me, it wasnt out of control.

[kraftykathy]

my son has tourette's and ocd (as well as an auditory learning disability and sensory integration issues). he'll be eating something and he'll stop to tell me how many bites it took to chew the food up. he also has lots of tics like sniffing and grunting. oh yeah and he's also one super duper sweet kid!

what do you guys do for meds? i'm afraid of them because i've read that it's like russian roulette. some meds make the tendencies worse and some even lead to depression. it seems like such a slim chance of drugs actually helping him. my boy is a joyful optimistic person. i truly enjoy who he is and accept him 200%. i'm afraid to mess with that. he's in grade 4 but i'm seriously considering homeschooling him. he's been teased before and i'm afraid of the affects on his self esteem. better to see him socialize with a few tolerant homeschool kids than throw him to the lions!

what's your advise if you have any?

kathy

[RELAYER]

Well, I dont know about the tourettes, but with OCD, from my experience nothing works, I've tried about 6 different meds when I was younger and they all did nothing. I don think it is something than can be fixed, but I guess like these guys are saying, it tapers off as you get older. I feel sorry for your son, I hope my son doesnt have it either, but most people on my fathers side of the family have it :(

[dilligaf]

i hate odd numbers,!!! everything i do has to be done in even numbers.. i even tend to grocery shop in even numbers,,, two of most everything goes in cart ...

bleach is my favorite fetish :P , and although it has sort of waned over time,, i used to use bleach in huge quantities....dish water, laundry, floors bathrooms,,,,etc etc,,, and the floors had to be scrubbed (no mops here ) every day with bleach and then hand dried vacuum had to be run no less than 2 x everyday and everything had its place with no clutter..... clutter sux,,,,, altho to look at my life right now one would not know that ....;)

[lalalamort]

ive decided that I ahve OCD more than anxiety..... because I can solve/prove things arent worth worrying about, but then i feel like i have to keep repeating solutions to my problems in my head.

[whereami]

So I guess this is a disorder that can increase or decrease over time? You don't have to be born with it? What can cause it or trigger it?

I never thought I had anything like this til about a year ago or more. I have to wash my hands constantly. I shake someone's hand & I'm in the restroom
scrubbing. I have a huge problem with cooking something then going back at least three times to make sure I turned the stove off. I KNOW I turned it off but I just have to check again......and again. There's been times when I've already left the house & have driven back home to make sure the burner or stove is turned off & I'm cussing at myself,"You fucking idiot,you KNOW you turned it off because you checked it four times before you even left!" Yet there I am again parking,walking back upstairs to check it yet again then walking back downstairs pissed off that I don't trust myself....

[lalalamort]

I have the same thing with thoughts, like ill be worrying about something and then ill solve it in my head, or prove it isnt worth thinking about, but then ill keep going back to try and solve it

[hippywitch]

I have ocd too. I can get into the symptoms I have when I have more time. :)

Michelle

[zeppelin kid]

Ocd isncomes in many forms. People get obcessed about everything.

[Kinky Ramona]

I have OCD, too, though it's never been diagnosed officially. When I worry, I start counting, in my head, outloud, just counting, I also have specific routines for using public restrooms, my closet is completely organized (though the rest of my room's a mess), I have a specific order for my CDs and DVDs to be in...I get really frustrated when someone messes with them. I've developed a new one now, if I see a penny, I pick it up, but if it's tails, I flip it until it lands on heads. Weird superstitions bug me. I also worry obsessively and have panic attacks because of it. I'm also somewhat of a germophobe, but not terribly bad, not moreso than anyone else, I don't think.

[Xac]

what do you guys do for meds? i'm afraid of them because i've read that it's like russian roulette. some meds make the tendencies worse and some even lead to depression. it seems like such a slim chance of drugs actually helping him. my boy is a joyful optimistic person. i truly enjoy who he is and accept him 200%. i'm afraid to mess with that. he's in grade 4 but i'm seriously considering homeschooling him. he's been teased before and i'm afraid of the affects on his self esteem. better to see him socialize with a few tolerant homeschool kids than throw him to the lions!

what's your advise if you have any?

kathy
Not sure about the homeschooling idea but i wont go into that because i really dont know.

Anyway i use to have pretty sevre OCD as a kid, along with a few other problems/disorders... and OCD was probably the least of my concerns, infact i did even realise i had it. I was never medicated for it, and although i am still slightly OCD it has pretty much completely gone.

So my advice is this; if your child is 'joyful and optimistic' then you probably shouldnt mess with it, if it isnt causing any issues for him then it's not really a problem. Just make sure that if his OCD is getting in the way of him living a happy and healthy life just let him know, I often had trouble breaking patterns until i had them pointed out for me.

Any way im not a professional, just my personal advice.

[lalalamort]

does anyone ahve something where you obsessivly try to visualise things in your head like numbers or visions of things?

[Kinky Ramona]

I used to obsessively try to remember every detail of certain people's faces.

[dietcoketree]

i have this thing where i cant walk on lines (like cement cracks or street lines). i have to make sure i walk over them. im not superstitious, but i feel as if my foot 'hurts' if i walk on them. also, if i do acciently walk on it, i have to step on another line with the other foot to 'even it out.' wow, thats so weird to type but yea.

also if im walking for more than 2 minutes or so, i have to walk to a rythem. i cant walk at constantly alternating speeds. hearing the consistant 'clicking' calms me. weird. i never admitted or realized that until today.

[jean_genie]

i had this thing when i was young, i think for about 6 years i would arrange everything i saw, heard or read into patterns of four like xoox and then arrange them into argh i cant explain

[hippychickmommy]

Yes, I am obsessive compulsive. Everything has it's place, and if it's out of place, or not at a perfect angle, I get upset.

I count ceiling tiles, floor tiles, I do everything in numbers, for example, if I am putting ice in a cup it must be either 3,5, or 7. I count just about everything really. I hate even numbers, everything must be odd.

I'm obsessed over my house being neat and tidy, and I get extremely irritable if I come home from running errands and there is anything out of place, anything sitting out on counters or on the floor. My husband knows this, and makes sure if he's keeping an eye on the kids for me that he times it so the house is completely free of clutter the moment I'm due to come home. http://www.hipforums.com/forums/images/smilies/wink.gif

Ummm, what else. I could go on and on really. But, I don't see my obsessive compulsiveness as a bad thing necessarily. Sometimes, yes, I can be over the top, but for the most part, hey, it suites me. http://www.hipforums.com/forums/images/smilies/wink.gif

[mudpuddle]

Just Look at my Typing!

[sun_heart_girl]

i had this thing when i was young, i think for about 6 years i would arrange everything i saw, heard or read into patterns of four like xoox and then arrange them into argh i cant explainYES YES YES!!!!! no-one else understands this... I have it where it has to start with xoox then oxxo and so on so it goes like this:

xoox oxxo oxxo xoox . oxxo xoox xoox oxxo . oxxo xoox xoox oxxo . xoox oxxo oxxo xoox ... oxxo xoox xoox oxxo . xoox oxxo oxxo xoox . xoox oxxo oxxo xoox . oxxo xoox xoox oxxo

Well I don't know if anyone can make any sense of that pattern (I put dots between the sets to make it a bit easier) It's true that it fades over time but I still have to even things out with my hands for example if I touch something cold with one side of my body I have to do it on the other side as well for it to be balanced - the weird thing is I know nothing bad will happen if I don't, I just have to do it if that makes sense. I think it will to most people reading because yall seem to have the same kind of thing.

[sun_heart_girl]

OK wait. I just realised something - that post made NO SENSE WHATSOEVER. So I'll try and explain a bit of my 'logic' behind it. The pattern kind of tied in with the eveness thing. How it worked was like this:
I'd start of with just the two things, xo. But the x would come before the o, which made it uneven. So then I'd add an ox behind it, to even things out. Then I had xoox.
Now though, the x still started off this group of four. So to make it more even I had to add another group of four with o at the start, in other words oxxo. Then I had xoox oxxo.
Then I had to add another group of eight, to make the oxxo group come before the xoox group. Then I had to add a group of 16, of 32, of 64... I think this is where my obsession with the 'perfect numbers' came in.

The 'perfect numbers' were not perfect numbers in the mathematical sense of the word (with all the factors adding up to the original number), that was just my word for the powers of 2 i.e. 2, 4, 8, 16, 32 etc. Every time I walked on a new surface, I had to take a perfect number of steps. This normally meant I either took really tiny shuffling steps or really huge leaps to make the number right. It was a real problem if I had to take loads of steps, because say I took 33 steps to get somewhere I then had to take another 31 to bring it up to 64, even if I was right by wherever I wanted to get to. It sounds funny now, but at the time it made some really bad problems for me. Also then there was the issue that sometimes I wasn't sure whether two surfaces were actually the same. The kitchen floor and the hall floor are both wood laminate. But were they the same wood laminate? Or was there some subtle difference that I couldn't quite figure out? I began to realise that this was crazy. I told myself that this was my game, I was the one making up the rules. So shouldn't I be the one to decide? But it wasn't a game any longer, and it wasn't mine. I was caught tight in the grip of OCD.

That was a long time ago. In some ways it has got better - I have managed to get it down to only needing to use even numbers, which makes it a hell of a lot easier, as I only have to take one extra step max. In other ways it has got worse, as I now have a fair amount of paranoia. I went through a phase of having to get up two or three times per night in order to ensure that the oven was not on fire. Also sometimes when I am in the bathroom I climb out of the window and sit on the ledge (don't ask), and I know that if my parents came in they would completely flip. So I do the obvious thing and lock the door. But then I'll climb onto the windowsill, and I'll wonder, did I really just lock the door? I remember doing it, but I just need to check anyway. So I get back in, tug on the door and climb back out again. Then I'll think, what if I did it wrong and the door isn't actually locked at all? And the weird thing is I'll know that it's actually locked, I just keep needing to check. Soon that will fade, and I'll be able to sit up there without checking. But something else will come up again. It always does.

Anyways, I know some people have it much worse than me. People can't live normal lives. It doesn't really affect what I do in any major way. In some ways I almost... not like it, as such, but I wouldn't want it to go away. It's a part of who I am.

Sorry for the long read, but maybe some people found it interesting. Also, if anyone has had similar experiences to me, you might want to read Monkey Taming by Judith Fathallah. It's mainly about anorexia, but at the end there is a fair bit about OCD, and I found a lot of it described what I had really accurately. Also it was nice to find a book about eating disorders that doesn't just go on about "oh my God I'm so hungry" but focuses more on the treatment and the psychiatric unit... OK so I am just blatantly advertising now, but hell. It's a good book.

[Sfingle]

It sounds to me like it's human nature to have a little OCD, especially if your bored. I do almost everyithing I do either: three, five or eleven times, depending on the activity and convinience. However, some people who do this chronically and have meds are the only "true" OCD patients, at least according to medical authorities. Mine goes away whenever I get disracted or am having a really good time, but even then I might notice I'm doing it subconcously, otherwise it's just like this little "urge" I have to do things. One thing I think is for certain, is it goes hand-in-hand with anxiety, or at least mine does, because it always seems like I'm doing these things in hope that it will somehow protect me or make me feel somehow "better" than I already am. It, by my defention, is just illogical stress or deppresion disorder.

[sun_heart_girl]

^^ Sounds about right to me

[The God of Hats]

I might have OCD, I read about it and I'm like, "hey I do that," When I walk on the side-walk I like to take two steps in one side-walk square then one in the next. When I cross the street, mostly busy streets, I count my steps. I frequently check the stove to make sure it's off. I always held a deep preferance for odd numbers, also the color green. More recently, always bringing something from home to school such as small toys or my hat. And finishing things, like once I was moving bricks and became slightly upset when my grandpa asked me to stop and come with him to the store because I didn't want to get side tracked and leave the remaining bricks unmoved. I think someone posted before about not stepping on side-walk lines, I hate that too.

Whatever, it doesn't wreck my life or anything, but it's funny how I've sort of had these little habits, some for a long time, but they were never anything to me and now I'm like, "so other people don't count their steps?" I'm just glad I'm not an obsesive cleaner, that sounds terrible. I could live with washing my hands constantly, but all that cleaning...

[skittlechick]

I have a question some of you sound like you do have OCD some of you don't. Have any of you been diagnosed because OCD is very disabeling and it doesn't sound like many of you have problems with daily life.

[Kinky Ramona]

As with all mental "illnesses", OCD has a range of severities and it covers a wide arrange of obsessions and compulsions. Not every case of OCD is like the ones you see on Dr. Phil.

[skittlechick]

To be diagnosed OCD it has to inhibit some part of your life. I can dive you an exact definitation and treatment menthods if you like.

No psychologist will give Dr. Phil credit for anything.

[punkerchic]

when i was a kid if i touched or did something with one hand i had to do it with the other. tHEY SAY THAT OCD STARTS AS A KID. I HAVENT BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH IT, BUT IM POSITIVE I HAVE IT. I JUST DONT LIKE TO TAKE MEDS UNLESS ITS SOMETHING TO STOP PAIN OR SAVE MY LIFE.

(sorry about the caps lock. i wasnt yelling)

[Kinky Ramona]

I do think OCD sets in when you're a kid. I had extreme obsessive compulsions growing up. I missed half of my 2nd grade year and half of my 5th grade year because my OCD was literally debilitating. My parents passed off my quirks as childhood deliquency, so they ignored them until the state started hounding them about my lack of attendance, so at the age of 10, they took me to a quack of a psychologist who didn't even bother to collect a history and attributed it all to a gym teacher and solved it by writing a note, excusing me from physical education and music class, therein creating a new ritual for me that actually worked well with those around me. I've since had similar episodes, but not as bad as they were then. I've never been diagnosed with OCD but when I found out about it and started researching it, I realized that was likely the monster that had me staying home everyday keeping things "safe." Today, I still have obsessive thoughts and tendencies and finally found a boyfriend who can handle and love me over the suffocation that he sometimes has to endure and the BS rituals he has to put up with.

[skittlechick]

I would recommend for both of you to at least talk to your Dr. about it. Self diagnosis is a really dangerous thing because it could be something completely different. I am not trying to say that you don't know whats going on in your life. It just sounds like there are some other things going on there. Oh and punkerchic kids can grow out of OCD.

[a_rabid_pineapple]

Hmn.... is pacing for a half an hour to six hours daily normal? I tell you I've worn out tons of socks doing that...^_^;; I do weird things like I can't touch bathroom door knobs, shopping carts, or railings. I also keep my favorite books in ziplock bags too...o_o;; Although my room is an absolute mess, I obsess about the rest of the house and how it needs to be perfectly arranged and cleaned. Same goes for my DVDs/CDs/iTunes. I have OCD-like behaviors but I don't know if it's true OCD, only a doctor can tell.

[phoenix_indigo]

Hmn.... is pacing for a half an hour to six hours daily normal? I tell you I've worn out tons of socks doing that...^_^;; I do weird things like I can't touch bathroom door knobs, shopping carts, or railings. I also keep my favorite books in ziplock bags too...o_o;; Although my room is an absolute mess, I obsess about the rest of the house and how it needs to be perfectly arranged and cleaned. Same goes for my DVDs/CDs/iTunes. I have OCD-like behaviors but I don't know if it's true OCD, only a doctor can tell.my husband does things like that but has never been diagnosed as OCD. for instance when he buys a dvd or videogame he always takes the price sticker off and puts it inside the case. if he can, he'll keep the receipt too. if he is going to clean everything has to be in a precise place. if he has a sandwich or buttered bread it always has to be cut in 4 squares. i think a lot of that stuff is just personal quirks not necessarily OCD just as you said OCD-like behaviours.

I have a few 'quirks' myself and both he and I mentioned his and mine to various doctors but because of a number of other things none of them thought we actually had OCD.

I think having actual OCD is usually always to do with repetition. If you have to do everything in threes (or some other number). Like brushing your teeth 3x. taking 3 showers. brushing each section of hair 3x. touching a doorknob 3x before opening the door. checking all the switches are turned off and the locks locked 3x before going to bed or leaving the house. basically if what you are habitually doing hinders you from leading a 'normal' life. for instance you are late to work or appointments because of your rituals. or you wake up throughout the night because you have to do a ritual checking of things or due to fear that something is out of place.

[skittlechick]

See a DR. OCD can be treated with out meds. Look for a good behavioral therapist in your area.

[solar]

No, its 3s !!!

[RELAYER]

Last night, I posted a link in the Psychedelics forum, specifically under the Magic Mushrooms forum, about a research being done on the effects of psilocybin used to treat OCD. Check it out, it's pretty interesting.

[pennylanejess]

mushrooms do take away my ocd completely....although same with when i get really drunk.... mary jane makes it worse for me..i miss smoking pot ....i haven't actually been classified with it....but i read this story about a girl with ocd and i related a lot to it....i was that sidewalk thing...though not all the time but when i'm aware of my steps i dont like to step on the lines so its hard because you gotta stop short to get over the next line...1..2...3 then 1.2..3... uhmm...its really affecting my life though...not the walking thing it can kinda be fun sometimes haha...but i just have huge social anxiety and compulsions dont work..still have to do em....

to be honest im pretty ashamed to even admit mine...i'll tell ya about the sidewalk thing....but mine is more of a mental thing

[dont worry be happy]

i was fairly convinced i had OCD before reading this but now i am completely convinced that i have OCD. i count everything. the tiles on the floor, the number of posts on a fence, the number of lines on a desk, or a table or something. my worst though is counting the number of lines on the highway in the car. i'll sit there and count them in threes (sometimes fours) and cant concentrate on anything else (thank god i dont have a licence huh?). i get really annoyed if i lose count or whatever.
everything has to be super tidy. i have my cds in a certain place and if they get moved or placed in the wrong space, i get really irritated. i check things constantly to double check that they're done. when i was younger i used to tap my fingers on things and i would tap each finger the same amount of times but it would always feel like one had been tapped less or more than the others and i would spend hours trying to right this feeling. thankful this has worn off, but i still count and tap my fingers a lot.

[Maggie Sugar]

There is a good book entitles "The Boy Who Couldn''t Stop Washing" By a Doctor Rappaport. It is one of the best books on OCD for lay people. By and large most people with OCD do better using therapy AND medications. OCD is a problem with neurotransmitters, and behavioral or cognative therapy alone just can't change your neurotransmitters. In fact, "cognative therapy" is probably the worst for OCD sufferers, because they already KNOW their obsessions and compulsions don't make sense. Even in behavioral therapy, usually when one "ritual" is extinguished, an other takes it's place.

Therapy to help you deal with the world AS an OCD sufferer is best, along with meds, to FIX the broken neurotransmitters, is best. You can't stop OCD by talking, it's been proven so many times. DEALING with life can be the best therapy can do for you, the meds can at least HELP your transmitters to fire and uptake properly, not completely, but at least enough so you can function. A lot of people with OCD have had it since childhood and don't even REALIZE they are socially impaired or that they are limiting their actions. What happens is, they just assume that the limitations they place on themselves are normal, (as most likely at least one of their parents had it as well) and they don't SEE themselves as impaired.

Therapy and meds can help you function more normally, and happily. No, they are NOT "happy pills" you can be on antidepressants and still be miserable, but in many cases antidepressants can help you a lot.

Many children have "Magical Thinking" which is similar, but not identical to OCD. In young children, this is NOT the result of a neurotransmitter condition, but just part of normal functioning. Children outgrow "Magical Thinking" if they do not have OCD. No one "out grows" real OCD, it is a lifelong illness.

[Maggie Sugar]

http://ec2.images-amazon.com/images/P/0451172027.01._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-dp-500-arrow,TopRight,45,-64_OU01_AA240_SH20_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg (http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0451172027/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-1884141-7309424#reader-link)

Judith Rapport is the author. Great book.

[Rar1013]

i count things, repeat things in my head, i could rearrange a cabniet or table 50 times until it's perfect, i can't leave things a mess or not in their place, things have to be done in particular order to my liking, i make lists, i obsess over way too much

[mynameissam]

i count thing, mainlt letters and stairs, then i count again including the punctuation. and then i end up recounting till i go do something else. it used to be alot worse than it is now tho, aaaand it doesnt really bother me

[Agruso]

i repeat peoples names over and over in my head, and if i see images from past or negative i have to think of something sucessfull. lol

[Ethel]

Hi guys, sorry to revive an old thread, I just found it tonight and read it through from the beginning.

I was diagnosed with OCD a few days ago. I've been treated for depression on-and-off for ten years. Looking back I've always done obsessive stuff, but more recently it's started becoming more of a problem (ie: getting in the way at work, because I get halfway through doing something, and have to go back to the start and check it's all done properly!)

I do a variation on the xoox thing - I tap out the patterns with my fingers. Like, first 'round' will be little finger, ring finger, middle finger, index finger. Second round is ring, middle, index, thumb. Then middle, index, thumb, little.... and on it goes! And I pace, a hell of a lot, and count. And I've always been big on 'balance' - like the having to step on a crack with both feet thing. Or, if one hand's been in hot water coz I'm washing up, and gone all wrinkly, I'll feel all out of whack and uneasy unless the other hand gets a soaking, too.

[StayLoose1011]

My mom unfortunately has Dr. Phil-level OCD. Seriously. She probably washes her hands 100 times in a day, and she will do it without even thinking why. Like sometimes I'll just ask her to hand me a bag of chips and she'll start washing her hands, and I'm like why are you doing that, you won't be touching the food, and shes like "Ah... I guess you're right... I just kind of do it out of habit now." Hah. IT gets way worse than that though... she is a hoarder to the EXTREME. She cannot throw a single thing away. Newspapers, anything that has to do with me... not a day goes by where she doesn't tape at least 2-3 things on TV, like supposedly interesting segments on the news or Oprah or something, and I'm serious, NOT A SINGLE TAPE IS WATCHED. EVER. NOTHING IS EVER REVIEWED... it is just obsessively put in its neat little place, never to be seen again. It's really frustrating and its caused some SERIOUS turmoil in my family that has yet to end and might never end.

My parents decided to build a house, as they had been planning to do for a long time, saving money and designing it and everything... but by the time they built it, her OCD had gotten so bad that pretty much all of the people involved in the house ended up refusing to work with her, because she couldn't make a decision about anything and always had a complaint about some imperfection. She just didn't understand that a house is never perfect... so, she basically said "I quit" on the house, and my dad had no choice but to finish it without her, and so now of course my dad ruined their dream home and that kind of thing.

Not that anyone wanted to hear that shit, and obviously this is an extreme case, but I just thought I would point out how devastating it really can be. Actually, I think that it runs even deeper than OCD with my mom. I never realized it until about a year ago, but now I am absolutely certain that she has some form of autism. She rocks constantly, she has no concept of the volume of her voice once she gets deep in convo (I have a problem with this as well), she holds her hands funny and many other things. She didn't talk 'til she was 4 or 5, too. It was pretty freaky when I realized it, and I don't think she has a clue... But yeah autism/asperger's and OCD go hand in hand because autistics are also really into completion and counting and that kind of thing.

Good luck to anyone with these kinds of issues. I think for some it is a part of the personality that is almost impossible to totally shut out, but just don't let it get out of control like my mother has

[NecroDynamic]

I used to count stairs and shit... but that's about it.

[Crystalsatreehugger]

my dad has it. And I think I might. Like if my boyfriend offends me (usually totally not on purpose) I go over what happened, why it happened, what we were thinking when it happened, our FEELINGS, over and over until I get clarity, which rarely happens, and it drives him CRAZY!!!! Or is that normal? I feel like I can't help it. I analyze things from as many perspectives as I can. It's why I'm an honor student and philosopher. It does have it's positive as well as negative.

But I don't do anything I've ever heard of OCD'ers doing

[Isil]

Jesus lord, theres an OCD trend o.O

Anywho...Most things I do are ruled by that fear of me "becoming" the person im thinking of while im carrying out some action.

Like, if I walk through a doorway while thinking about Charles Manson, I think that i'll start to espouse all his ideals and what. If I dont walk through the doorway again while thinking of a positive person, then I actually do seem to think like Charles Manson would.

Thats bad, isnt it >.> Lol.

Its the same if I think of a negative, hateful idea while doing something. If I dont "correct" myself, then i'll start to "believe" in that idea, as wrong and immorale as it may be.

I cant control what I think sometimes, either. This ties in with the stuff I explained above...I'll start thinking of someone I really dont find to be that great of a person, and its quite hard to stop. It frightens me because of the first thing I talked about...The idea of me thinking like the person and...crap o.o

Nevermind xD

[forwardventure]

I have OCD. I suspect I had it mildly all throughout my childhood, though I wasn't diagnosed until I was 14. When I became anorexic it escalated like crazy, which is quite common. Then of course when I was recovering I felt like I was losing control even more, so it got even worse. I lost almost all of my friends during that time period, and I also had to drop out of conventional school because it was interfering with my life way too much to even continue having a social or normal academic life. From age 14-18 my OCD was pretty insane, and it drove everyone around me crazy, those that it hadn't driven away anyways. It was so frustrating. I would cry and despair, but I just couldn't stop. It was horrible when I was dead tired and all I wanted to do was get into bed, but atleast 2 hours of OCD rituals would have to be completed first, every single night.

At age 17 I went off my OCD meds and at age 18 started smoking a lot more pot. It helped for a while. About a year ago I went on meds again because it became unbearable, but I've been off them since February of this year.

I've got pretty good control over the disorder now. I do a lot of self Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and continue to smoke pot. They help. And my most pressing compulsive obsession for the past few months has been pushups and squat-lunges. Sometimes at work I'll have to go into the cooler or the office and do them or else I won't be able to concentrate on anything and become extremely agitated until I get it out of my system. I must say, my arms and legs are looking quite nice though. lol