mebesideme
07-11-2004, 04:28 PM
So, I have just finally begun to recover mentally/perceptually fully from a trip. Wouldn't say it was bad, just weird and intense. I have taken DXM three times in my life, the first was in the form of Coricidin or "Triple C's" in my teenage stupidity days. I didn't really enjoy that too much, took 6 pills, and kinda felt stoned but ended vomiting for an hour about 2 hours after ingestion. The second experience was with about 250 milligrams of the pure powder I got from a friend of mine in the pharm industry. That was a better experience, I got a good trip from it for about 4 hours, felt generally good about everything, and really relaxed. I may have had *slight* visuals, I noticed higher definition and some minor warping if I remember correctly. Both times, I had not been on any other drug for weeks except pot and alcohol, but those were days before each experience. I have done and do a bit of acid, and shrooms, and thought I had had a level5 trip before this. I have been so gone on cid I remember talking to twins of myself, seeing God, shit like that. I have been "out of body" several times before for sure.
This time, the last time for sure, was pretty much the same way. I am on Adderall now as opposed to before, and I last drank ~5 days before ingesting the drug this time. I take 10 mgs of Adderall XR, you take one in the AM, one in the PM. I usually just take one in the morning, but sometimes two or three total for the day. Anyway, Thursday night I ingested about 600-700 mgs of pure powder DXM. I hadn't eaten anything but a salad and some cheese that day, about 5 hours before. I took one Adderall that morning, about 8 am, and no more that day. Anyway, I took the shit about 11:30 PM, and commenced going about my regualar activites for the night, laying around and watching TV, surfing the net, etc. The last semi-normal though occurred about 1:45 AM. I was laying on the living room floor watching the tube. I was already seeing some texture and color warping, the carpet so close to my face was like hi def and was super exxagerated in texture, but not moving. The cat brushed my side, but the sensation was VERY different from normal. Instead of feeling the cat brush me, I felt as if I were the cat brushing against a brick wall. I could feel the corners of bricks scratching me through fur where the cat touched me. It wasn't unpleasant just really f'in weird. I became slightly unsettled by the sensation, so I pushed the cat away and tried to continue watching the movie, Army of Darkness. When the cat came back around in front me after pushing me, he took on the voice of a character on the tv, and started saying what was being said in the movie, but about a second after it was said. I could see the cat's mouth moving to articulate words, and he had a very evil look. Then some light hit his eyes from the kitchen, and I saw deeply into them. That was when I lost complete control of myself, and became fully involved in the trip. I felt my soul peel from my body and my entire being, my soul, felt like it was in a ball, being squezed by someone very strong. They took it, and for a moment, I could feel my body again for a second, but faintly. I ebbed between having absolutely no motor functions or physical feeling and being able to feel perfectly touching everything the room at once, like i was a cat scratching my body against everything, but I could feel every texture in the room at once all over. I went on between these two states for what seemed like hours, and the whole time, I could barely concentrate on anything. I tried so hard everytime I started feeling senses again to hold on, to scoot over the floor to something I could hold onto and hold myself against to see if I could keep myself from getting "balled up again". After an eternity like this, I entered a dreamlike calm state, and for a moment I was firmly sober feeling, but I could feel my mind still slightly ebbing, like when you have been on a boat for a while and get on soil again, you tend to rock for a while after getting off the boat. After a few minutes, I seemed to be asleep but aware. I couldn't see or smell or taste anything in particular, all my senses felt like they were sensing the same thing at once, and the same experience in all of them confused me into neutrality. I could sort of feel the floor, but it wasn't quite right, kind of moving around touching different parts of me in a distinct pattern. I knew the pattern was important for some reason, and tried following it by tensing up parts of my body in the area I could feel the carpet in. I did this for a few minutes, until I forgot why I ws doing it, and tried very hard to get a reading from my senses. I could not feel anything from anywhere, emotion or anything. I felt totally neutral and quite angry about it, if you could say I was capable of feeling anger at the time. It became really hard to tell that I was thinking at all. I couldn't form a full thought without forgetting what I was thinking about. I could only remember vaguely who I was. I am not sure afterward, but I think at the time I had forgotten about ever being human and being alive. I had no concept of physical feeling or any kind of formation of physical manifestations like closed eye visuals, nor could I see anythng from outside of me for that matter. I was inside my own little unverse, and it was very neutral, like I could have negated my very soul and not ever known. I became very afraid that I ws going brain ded after a while, I had no idea or concept of anything physical. I laid there, stuck totally in my brain for ages and ages. I suppose I eventualy fell asleep a while and then woke up, but I can't rememember. When I became aware again of everything, I opened my eyes and I was on the floor I had been on to start with, clutching my legs. The title screen of the dvd was on. I was afraid to get up and move, I didn't want to risk losing reality again, and I felt like I would certainly fall if I stood. I wiped my forehead and thought I ws sweaty but I ws clammy cold, not sweaty really at all. At this time it was still dark outside. I never got up until daylight, but I don't now what time. After I fell asleep there, I had horrible feelings, like I was going to go inside totally again, and tried to wake myself up everytime I got scared. I eventually started dreaming, and they were like usual except I couldn't control things or myself in them like usual. In most of my dreams I am fully in control, and very aware, as if I am awake. They are usually very short in duration too, about five to ten minutes in my mind. This time was different. I became very depressed all of a sudden in my dream. I was experiencing the events as a third person where I could see myself in the dream and think my thoughts, but not control. It was black in white. The dream was several weeks long in the time of the dream. I remembered about my ex that I had actually broken up with a week before the trip. In my dream, I was married to a girl I didn't know,and got called at dinner. My ex had been shot, and was dying at the hospital. She told me it was over with her other bf, and she wanted to marry me before she died, but she didn't know I was already married. -In reality, I swore to this girl I would marry her, we were engaged. She left me for her abusive ex and told me she thought we had moved too fast.- Anyway, I told my wife, and she kicked me out and as I left, she killed herself. Then the house started burning as I ran toward the hospital. I got to the hospital, and we got married. My ex told me over and over not to be sorry she had left cause she was here now with me forever, and kept saying that nothing was my fault, it was all hers for ever leaving. She apologized for ignoring me aftr we split, and then she died. I was very sad, I bawled and screamed in the dream. After like two weeks seemingly of driving in the dream, I looked over in my car to two roses my ex gave me when we together. -She actually gave me them, they are really in my car, dried out- They had been dried above the passenger seat, her seat. When I looked at them they were full and alive again, and then they started melting down into like ooze. My ex reappeared, alive again in the seat. Then she apologized again for ever leaving, and hugge me. That was when I became aware of the dvd player sounds in the background,and woke up very groggily. I was soaked in sweat and had been crying in my sleep. I felt exhausted, so I turned off the tv and peed, then went to the kitchen and tried to get some water. I remember it being 4 something and daylight outside. I sat down at the table after getting like a half glass of water in me and dozed back off. I woke up that night at 10PM. I was still very tired, and was keenly aware of every sense in my body. I could still feel everything in the room touching me at once, sort of. In the corner of my left eye always when I am a room now still, I see a window in the wall that isn't there to outside, but it's dark through the window. When I watch my hands typing, it looks weird, and I get a little anxious about them getting hurt, I am typing so fast it looks like. I went for a drive today to see some shrooms my friends picked, and I was really nervous and depressed in my car. I drove like 5 under the whole time. I can still feel every strand of muscle in my body move and relax, and all of my senses except my vision are super crisp. After some sleep and caffeine, I feel very upbeat, and not depressed anymore about my ex but I know we are broken up and I am okay with it, unlike before. The after symptoms have faded a lot with no adverse phyiscal sickness except i am having green diahhrea right now, which is odd. I am firmly rooted, but still shaken up, and not depressed at all. I don't think I have ever felt this good about life! I am definitely not touching DXM again, at least 700 mgs at once. Just HAD to share my experience. Sorry it is so wordy.
This time, the last time for sure, was pretty much the same way. I am on Adderall now as opposed to before, and I last drank ~5 days before ingesting the drug this time. I take 10 mgs of Adderall XR, you take one in the AM, one in the PM. I usually just take one in the morning, but sometimes two or three total for the day. Anyway, Thursday night I ingested about 600-700 mgs of pure powder DXM. I hadn't eaten anything but a salad and some cheese that day, about 5 hours before. I took one Adderall that morning, about 8 am, and no more that day. Anyway, I took the shit about 11:30 PM, and commenced going about my regualar activites for the night, laying around and watching TV, surfing the net, etc. The last semi-normal though occurred about 1:45 AM. I was laying on the living room floor watching the tube. I was already seeing some texture and color warping, the carpet so close to my face was like hi def and was super exxagerated in texture, but not moving. The cat brushed my side, but the sensation was VERY different from normal. Instead of feeling the cat brush me, I felt as if I were the cat brushing against a brick wall. I could feel the corners of bricks scratching me through fur where the cat touched me. It wasn't unpleasant just really f'in weird. I became slightly unsettled by the sensation, so I pushed the cat away and tried to continue watching the movie, Army of Darkness. When the cat came back around in front me after pushing me, he took on the voice of a character on the tv, and started saying what was being said in the movie, but about a second after it was said. I could see the cat's mouth moving to articulate words, and he had a very evil look. Then some light hit his eyes from the kitchen, and I saw deeply into them. That was when I lost complete control of myself, and became fully involved in the trip. I felt my soul peel from my body and my entire being, my soul, felt like it was in a ball, being squezed by someone very strong. They took it, and for a moment, I could feel my body again for a second, but faintly. I ebbed between having absolutely no motor functions or physical feeling and being able to feel perfectly touching everything the room at once, like i was a cat scratching my body against everything, but I could feel every texture in the room at once all over. I went on between these two states for what seemed like hours, and the whole time, I could barely concentrate on anything. I tried so hard everytime I started feeling senses again to hold on, to scoot over the floor to something I could hold onto and hold myself against to see if I could keep myself from getting "balled up again". After an eternity like this, I entered a dreamlike calm state, and for a moment I was firmly sober feeling, but I could feel my mind still slightly ebbing, like when you have been on a boat for a while and get on soil again, you tend to rock for a while after getting off the boat. After a few minutes, I seemed to be asleep but aware. I couldn't see or smell or taste anything in particular, all my senses felt like they were sensing the same thing at once, and the same experience in all of them confused me into neutrality. I could sort of feel the floor, but it wasn't quite right, kind of moving around touching different parts of me in a distinct pattern. I knew the pattern was important for some reason, and tried following it by tensing up parts of my body in the area I could feel the carpet in. I did this for a few minutes, until I forgot why I ws doing it, and tried very hard to get a reading from my senses. I could not feel anything from anywhere, emotion or anything. I felt totally neutral and quite angry about it, if you could say I was capable of feeling anger at the time. It became really hard to tell that I was thinking at all. I couldn't form a full thought without forgetting what I was thinking about. I could only remember vaguely who I was. I am not sure afterward, but I think at the time I had forgotten about ever being human and being alive. I had no concept of physical feeling or any kind of formation of physical manifestations like closed eye visuals, nor could I see anythng from outside of me for that matter. I was inside my own little unverse, and it was very neutral, like I could have negated my very soul and not ever known. I became very afraid that I ws going brain ded after a while, I had no idea or concept of anything physical. I laid there, stuck totally in my brain for ages and ages. I suppose I eventualy fell asleep a while and then woke up, but I can't rememember. When I became aware again of everything, I opened my eyes and I was on the floor I had been on to start with, clutching my legs. The title screen of the dvd was on. I was afraid to get up and move, I didn't want to risk losing reality again, and I felt like I would certainly fall if I stood. I wiped my forehead and thought I ws sweaty but I ws clammy cold, not sweaty really at all. At this time it was still dark outside. I never got up until daylight, but I don't now what time. After I fell asleep there, I had horrible feelings, like I was going to go inside totally again, and tried to wake myself up everytime I got scared. I eventually started dreaming, and they were like usual except I couldn't control things or myself in them like usual. In most of my dreams I am fully in control, and very aware, as if I am awake. They are usually very short in duration too, about five to ten minutes in my mind. This time was different. I became very depressed all of a sudden in my dream. I was experiencing the events as a third person where I could see myself in the dream and think my thoughts, but not control. It was black in white. The dream was several weeks long in the time of the dream. I remembered about my ex that I had actually broken up with a week before the trip. In my dream, I was married to a girl I didn't know,and got called at dinner. My ex had been shot, and was dying at the hospital. She told me it was over with her other bf, and she wanted to marry me before she died, but she didn't know I was already married. -In reality, I swore to this girl I would marry her, we were engaged. She left me for her abusive ex and told me she thought we had moved too fast.- Anyway, I told my wife, and she kicked me out and as I left, she killed herself. Then the house started burning as I ran toward the hospital. I got to the hospital, and we got married. My ex told me over and over not to be sorry she had left cause she was here now with me forever, and kept saying that nothing was my fault, it was all hers for ever leaving. She apologized for ignoring me aftr we split, and then she died. I was very sad, I bawled and screamed in the dream. After like two weeks seemingly of driving in the dream, I looked over in my car to two roses my ex gave me when we together. -She actually gave me them, they are really in my car, dried out- They had been dried above the passenger seat, her seat. When I looked at them they were full and alive again, and then they started melting down into like ooze. My ex reappeared, alive again in the seat. Then she apologized again for ever leaving, and hugge me. That was when I became aware of the dvd player sounds in the background,and woke up very groggily. I was soaked in sweat and had been crying in my sleep. I felt exhausted, so I turned off the tv and peed, then went to the kitchen and tried to get some water. I remember it being 4 something and daylight outside. I sat down at the table after getting like a half glass of water in me and dozed back off. I woke up that night at 10PM. I was still very tired, and was keenly aware of every sense in my body. I could still feel everything in the room touching me at once, sort of. In the corner of my left eye always when I am a room now still, I see a window in the wall that isn't there to outside, but it's dark through the window. When I watch my hands typing, it looks weird, and I get a little anxious about them getting hurt, I am typing so fast it looks like. I went for a drive today to see some shrooms my friends picked, and I was really nervous and depressed in my car. I drove like 5 under the whole time. I can still feel every strand of muscle in my body move and relax, and all of my senses except my vision are super crisp. After some sleep and caffeine, I feel very upbeat, and not depressed anymore about my ex but I know we are broken up and I am okay with it, unlike before. The after symptoms have faded a lot with no adverse phyiscal sickness except i am having green diahhrea right now, which is odd. I am firmly rooted, but still shaken up, and not depressed at all. I don't think I have ever felt this good about life! I am definitely not touching DXM again, at least 700 mgs at once. Just HAD to share my experience. Sorry it is so wordy.