Bpd? [Archive] - Hip Forums

icedteapriestess

04-01-2006, 06:52 AM

In the begining they couldn't decide it I was bi-polar, had BPD or had seasonal temperal disorder (ie, depressed in the winter, happy in the summer). They eventually cornered in on BPD after spending a LOT of time on my childhood... lol.

I tend to see things in black and white ( like, liberals good, conservatives bad)...and have a hard time figuring people out, because I question almost everyone's motives. Trust doens't come easy. I also have a hard time being "me", sometimes I become what i think others want me to be (this is especially true when I am around my parents). I have severe abandonment issues, which cause me to keep my distance from just about everyone.... but once I do trust someone, betrayals hurt even more.

All of this does cause me to get depressed. But, like other people with BPD, I have a history of addictive behaviour (sex and drugs were my biggest vices), so I refuse meds. I spend a lot of time meditating, which does help keep the worse of the bad thoughts and obsessive/destructive behaviour at bay. I've also been totally clean and sober for over 5 years now, which I do think also helps, although sometimes I still think about saying "fuck it" and lighting up a joint... but would it stop there?? haha.. i don't think so, and don't want to risk it.

How do you see the world and deal with it day to day?

P.S. My cat helps too... as i can trust him to always listen, love me and not to get disappointed with me very often!

willow1313

04-02-2006, 05:14 AM

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phishcourtney04

04-04-2006, 06:12 PM

i wish yall would post more about your symptoms, and your experiences. also about how you view yourself and others. i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but i feel more of a connection with borderline personality disorder. i don't really care about the terminology, and i've read up about the symptoms of each...but i'm just interested in how people with bpd interact and think. i dunno if that even makes sense :) i just know if have this really bad, recurring tendency to push people away before they can "push" me away. i do this pretty much annually and have done so for the past 7-8 years. i'll make new friends, be so happy and infatuated by them, then it gets comfortable, then i start being critical and paranoid and usually find things wrong with them, and then i cut my ties and and alone for awhile until i connect with new people. it's not a mean thing, and there are no hard feelings, but it's just weird to me that i do that. i still have a few good friends that i've had for years and will probably always have, but i dunno. and in relationships, sometimes they're so itense that i can absolutely adore/fucking HATE the same person multiple times in the same day for the most trivial things...we hang out and have a good time (i love them), they don't call me back or sound tired or grouchy on the phone (i hate them), and then my imagination runs wild and i overanalyze each feeling and they can change on a whim.
ok, too much typing, i'm done now.

icedteapriestess

04-04-2006, 07:20 PM

sounds like you have abandonment issues.... with the pushing people away thing. I do it too. It's pretty much one of the cornerstones of BPD!

We've been doing most of our talking through PM, as some of the stuff might be hard for non-BPD's to understand.... actions, thoughts, ways of seeing things.

Drop me a PM...

fulmah

04-04-2006, 08:49 PM

I'm a non-BP, so I'm not going to try and butt into you guys' thread... but I do know a lot about bpd, more than I'd probably wish to know. Since there's been a couple of threads trying to find out similar behaviors, and if you guys want to talk to a larger community, there's a fantastic support site for bpd (diagnosed, undiagnosed, and non's) run by a lady recovered from it. There's tons of resources there, it's active, and they discuss everything from common behaviors, treatments, relationships, metaphysical stuff... everything, basically. It's at www.bpdrecovery.com.

spooner

04-04-2006, 11:03 PM

My psychologist won't even treat BPDs...

SaraiLoruhamah

04-05-2006, 01:35 AM

I think I am borderline and I don't think it's a sickness. I just look at things differently. I can't stand fakeness. I am not an optimist nor am I a pessimist. I see what is there. It doesn't matter to me if the glass is half full or half empty. What color is the glass, what is it made of, how heavy is it, how does it feel? Also, what is inside of it, is it okay to drink, what does it taste like? These are things that matter to me. I can get lost in the way a certain fabric feels, I could play with someones hair for hours. I love music. I spend a lot of time thinking and writing. It seems that borderlines can understand most anything anyone says, because they already thought about it 100 different ways before it ever crossed the other persons mind. I've written too much.-END.-

SaraiLoruhamah

04-05-2006, 01:38 AM

I think I am borderline and I don't think it's a sickness. I just look at things differently. I can't stand fakeness. I am not an optimist nor am I a pessimist. I see what is there. It doesn't matter to me if the glass is half full or half empty. What color is the glass, what is it made of, how heavy is it, how does it feel? Also, what is inside of it, is it okay to drink, what does it taste like? These are things that matter to me. I can get lost in the way a certain fabric feels, I could play with someones hair for hours. I live from one sensation to the next. I love music. I spend a lot of time thinking and writing. It seems that borderlines can understand most anything anyone says, because they already thought about it 100 different ways before it ever crossed the other persons mind. I've written too much.-END.-

SaraiLoruhamah

04-05-2006, 01:39 AM

Sorry for posting that twice- didnt mean to.

spooner

04-05-2006, 04:15 AM

I think I am borderline and I don't think it's a sickness. I just look at things differently. I can't stand fakeness. I am not an optimist nor am I a pessimist. I see what is there. It doesn't matter to me if the glass is half full or half empty. What color is the glass, what is it made of, how heavy is it, how does it feel? Also, what is inside of it, is it okay to drink, what does it taste like? These are things that matter to me. I can get lost in the way a certain fabric feels, I could play with someones hair for hours. I live from one sensation to the next. I love music. I spend a lot of time thinking and writing. It seems that borderlines can understand most anything anyone says, because they already thought about it 100 different ways before it ever crossed the other persons mind. I've written too much.-END.-
That isn't characteristic of a BPD.

willow1313

04-05-2006, 05:00 AM

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fulmah

04-05-2006, 05:46 AM

Why not?I don't know why spooner's psychologist won't, but the situation is common. A lot of psychologists simply don't know enough about it... it's a relatively recent addition to the DSM (think of the DSM like a psychologist's dictionary), it's really, really hard to diagnose, and for a long time was simply thought to be untreatable. When I was in school (not all that long ago), it was never mentioned simply because my professor didn't think it warranted a separate definition. He thought bpd was just for people with multiple disorders, like people with (just an example) bipolar disorder who were also suffering from post traumatic stress disorder with some narcissistic traits. Basically, psychologists used to label people bpd when they couldn't define what they should be classified as. That's changed, but there's a lot of psychologists out there that haven't caught up yet.

Also, many psychologists don't want to treat them because it takes tremendous time and dedication to overcome it. Because of this, they won't take but so many patients. However, it is treatable. DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) is the most succesful approach. Anyone with bpd that acknowledges they have a problem that they want to fix should seriously, seriously look into it.

spooner

04-05-2006, 09:05 AM

Look at some of the diagnostic criteria:

frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

He finds that there is a fairly general pattern they fall into; something along the lines of loving him for the first couple sessions, then they have a slight disagreement and they explode and quit etc. and then frantically try to get back. Repeat ad nauseum.

He just doesn't find them pleasant.

solaray

04-06-2006, 12:09 AM

i am so happy to find this on here...i recently discovered bpd's existence while looking online for some kinda help for what i'm going thru. bpd describes me perfectly. what a relief to be able to connect the dots finally....but now comes the next step where i try to figure out what to do about it. i have always preferred only to take meds in absolute necessity...that may be now...but i have never taken meds for mental issues before and i'm not going there unless i feel sure it is right. i have found some good stuff online for healing...would be so nice to have a forum on here to share...misery loves company!!!! no really, it is healing to express and be understood...what symbiotic relating we could experience thru this....especially being mommies which brings a whole new aspect into the situation with added need for support. peace and love and thanks for opening this up

icedteapriestess

04-06-2006, 06:24 AM

After several years of saying "what the fuck?" with me and my moods, my husband bought a book about how to deal with/love someone with BPD. It's called "Quit Walking on Eggshells", and it's really helped him to understand why I do and act the way that I do sometimes.

I would recommend it to anyone married to/dating/related to someone with BPD! Its help us a lot!

fulmah

04-06-2006, 03:17 PM

solar_eclipse

04-07-2006, 06:09 AM

No where else have I seen such a large concentration of bpd people. It took them (them being various psychiatrists, psychologists, and mood specialists) 8 years to get me the proper diagnoses of BPD. Apparently thats one of the key features, going through hell because your psychiatrist is so confused he makes up stuff (has anyone else here heard of a-typical ultra rapid cylcing bi-polar?) and I've also been on every medication assosciated with the various disorders I supposedly had.

I'm now on DBT - it kicks butt. I had to wait forever to get in, but it is so nice to have a therapy where I can see/feel my progress.

I didn't really go the addiction route, my biggest feature is my crappy coping mechinism of self harm/suicide attempts.

So yeah, there's some of me. Feel free to pm me or anything anyone that has questions/wisdom about BPD.

solar_eclipse

04-07-2006, 06:12 AM

He just doesn't find them pleasant.
That is hilarious - we are now supposed to be pleasant to our therapists?

spooner

04-07-2006, 11:37 PM

Psychologist, not therapist (ie: they have actual training).

There is a shortage of them, therefore he gets his pick of patients.

willow1313

04-08-2006, 04:12 AM

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lynsey

04-08-2006, 05:32 AM

I am pretty sure my mother has it and had it worse when I was a kid. She fits the criteria to a T

lynsey

04-08-2006, 05:35 AM

no you need a psychiatrist- therapy, meds and behavioral mod together will knockj through shit fast. I'm in very intesive thearpy right now and my moemeory finally came back today-good and bad. I really hate some people right now because I am remembering what they did to me, hoe they treated me where before I forgot because of my post trauamatic stress disorder. I see mine on Monday morning so that will be good.

willow1313

04-08-2006, 06:37 AM

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spooner

04-08-2006, 07:53 AM

For Bipolar disorder? Lithium, normally, I believe.

For Borderline Personality Disorder? I doubt drugs would be the best way to treat it.

lynsey

04-08-2006, 10:00 AM

btw- psychiatrists hate treating bderline personality disorder it is uncurable as it's your inhernet personality not triggered by and event or sometimes not even a chemical in balance.
i would say work cognitivley to overcome it. That's what my mom needs to do to get over her narcisim and insentsitivity towards others but extrmemly sensitive to how others treat you that is often associatted with it. she is so in her own little world it drives me insane and it is making me crazy i need to move out but it will get worse. she is so set in herself and her little obsession wiht the dogs and the neighbors and her deputy director at work that i just cant stand it

icedteapriestess

04-08-2006, 04:08 PM

BPD is often triggered by EVENTS (not event, but plural) from your childhood.

spooner

04-09-2006, 02:27 AM

Not exactly the full story.

"Researchers believe that BPD results from a combination of individual genetic vulnerability, and environmental stress, neglect or abuse as young children, and maturational events that trigger the onset of the disorder during adolescence or adulthood."

fountains of nay

04-09-2006, 03:06 PM

I have BPD. I tried a spot of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) to see if I could understand the way that I think and function and I must admit it did help a little, but it's just something I have to live with and get on with. Afterall, everybody out there has one form of mental health or another.

cutelildeadbear

07-13-2006, 08:05 PM

icedteapriestess

07-13-2006, 08:13 PM

So what if you have two people with BPD who have a close relationship. Can they ever get along? Or will it always be a disaster. I don't mean a romantic relationship, more like an in law relationship. And what if one of them knows what the problem is and is in therapy/on meds, but the other has no clue and won't even think about it or discuss the possibility of it because they don't believe in these types of disorders.

Thanks.
I think it can work, as long as one of the people is aware of the problem as is willing to do extra work to make the relationship doable.

My MIL is a wonderful woman.... she just happens to be a little crazy, but who isn't. Usually we get along wonderfully, as I tend to bite my tongue when she starts in on things she shouldn't. We've only ever had one fight... I was having a bad time of it, and was out a family picnic.. I don't like families, they bug me, but weather through such things because they mean a lot of my husband (and if I go to the family thing for him, he will go do something I want with me.. its a trade system we have worked out). Anyway, we had a huge blow up infront of the entire family, and she can't seem to forgive me for it, deep down at least... on the surface its fine, but inside i know she still resents me for it.

We had simular childhoods.... both with major themes of abandonment. I wouldn't be surprised if she has BPD, but have never tried to get her into treatment. We used to talk about our childhoods, but don't anymore. The fight we had was about her son and I moving to Canada... so it probably triggered some abandonment issues in her.

But back to what you were saying... I think if you are willing to pull the majority of the relationship load, and respect her wishes not to talk about the "imagined disorders" the relationship can work. Mine did... until it didn't.

Earth_Angel_2727

07-26-2006, 12:33 PM

i just found out i was diagnosed with bpd

Apples+Oranjes

08-31-2006, 02:48 PM

My counselor thinks my roommate/best friend may be borderline... of course she cannot make an accurate diagnosis as she is not her patient and what not, but I do believe that she might be right with her "armchair diagnosis"

So, right now, I'm reading "Stop Walking On Eggshells" for my benefit.

It's very difficult for me to deal with her day in and day out because of whatever problem it is that she has, whether its borderline or not.

With that said, do any of you, who DONT have borderline have any good strategies to dealing with a loved one that HAS borderline?

I will take anything I can get right now.

fulmah

08-31-2006, 05:16 PM

With that said, do any of you, who DONT have borderline have any good strategies to dealing with a loved one that HAS borderline?

I will take anything I can get right now.
As hard as it might be, do your best not to take what she does personally. After you finish reading SWOE (Stop Walking on Eggshells), read it again, particularly the sections on PUVAS and DEARMAN.... those techniques work if you can pull them off, but it's very hard to do, especially in the heat of the moment. Um, don't tell her you think she's bpd... that tends to be disastrous. Learn everything you can about validation, and lookup "DBT parenting techniques" online, they probably have some good "real life" situations you could use in relating to her. Good site for more info on all things bpd: www.bpdresources.com (http://www.bpdresources.com) Sorry, I got better advice but had surgery coupla days ago and all fucked up on meds right now ;)