newo
02-19-2006, 04:50 AM
In my hometown there was a policeman named Chucky Boone. He was quite short for a cop, only 5'4". To make a long story short, he was very sensitive about his height; you might say he had a short fuse. I never realized how touchy he was until I tried to engage him in a short conversation.
"Mr. Boone," I said. "Would you be willing to lend me a few bucks? I'm a little short."
He replied, "Tell me what you want the money for, and make it short!"
"I need the money to work on my car. I have a short circuit somewhere. I can't make it to work without my car and I don't want to leave them shorthanded. Don't worry, I'll pay you back. I won't shortchange you."
"Wait a minute. Are you making fun of my being short?"
"Why no. You really shouldn't be so short tempered!"
His eyes grew short. "How would you like to go for a short ride?!" he said.
"Please, let's not fight." I replied. "Life is too short!"
"Aw, go take a long walk on a short pier!" he said.
"All right. I'll see you shortly." I replied, and left, taking the shortcut home, all the while thinking I had made short work of him. However, this feeling was short-lived.
The next day he and I played on opposing teams in a baseball game. I played first base; he played shortstop. When I came up to bat he was brought in as short relief pitcher. He threw the ball right at me, hitting me in the shorts. I fell to my knees, short of breath. In short, he got his revenge. I guess vindictiveness is one of his shortcomings. To make matters worse, my team lost; we came up short by one run.
Well, I'm afraid I'll have to cut this story short. I have other things I need to do and time is running short. Afterwards I believe I'll write Mr. Boone a nasty letter. In shorthand, of course.
"Mr. Boone," I said. "Would you be willing to lend me a few bucks? I'm a little short."
He replied, "Tell me what you want the money for, and make it short!"
"I need the money to work on my car. I have a short circuit somewhere. I can't make it to work without my car and I don't want to leave them shorthanded. Don't worry, I'll pay you back. I won't shortchange you."
"Wait a minute. Are you making fun of my being short?"
"Why no. You really shouldn't be so short tempered!"
His eyes grew short. "How would you like to go for a short ride?!" he said.
"Please, let's not fight." I replied. "Life is too short!"
"Aw, go take a long walk on a short pier!" he said.
"All right. I'll see you shortly." I replied, and left, taking the shortcut home, all the while thinking I had made short work of him. However, this feeling was short-lived.
The next day he and I played on opposing teams in a baseball game. I played first base; he played shortstop. When I came up to bat he was brought in as short relief pitcher. He threw the ball right at me, hitting me in the shorts. I fell to my knees, short of breath. In short, he got his revenge. I guess vindictiveness is one of his shortcomings. To make matters worse, my team lost; we came up short by one run.
Well, I'm afraid I'll have to cut this story short. I have other things I need to do and time is running short. Afterwards I believe I'll write Mr. Boone a nasty letter. In shorthand, of course.