chuck norris

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chuck norris does not sleep....he waits


the is no theory of evouloution- just a list of animals chuck norris allows to survive

[NoVictimNoCrime]

chuck norris' tears cure cancer.


too bad he's never cried.

[SLammon420]

Chuck Norris is bound by law never to wink at any girl ages 14 to 32. The last time he did wink was when he was opening for a New Kids on the Block concert. As a result the 16,037 girls in attendence were imediately impregnated and each child had developed a red beard by the age of 5 days.

Chuck Norris thinks that cards are impersonal. To add his own brand of originality, he painstakingly makes a message out of tiny razors which he then attaches to his foot. When the lucky birthday boy/girl sees Chuck, he roundhouse kicks them in the stomach and delivers his well wishes in a present that will stay for life.

Chuck Norris once dug his way to the center of the Earth using only a jar of petroleum jelly and his penis.

[high_down_under]

chuck norris has counted to infinity...twice



oh by the way, how did these jokes start?

[StonerBill]

i dunno if these are common or if theyll be appreciated lol but at the Melbourne Big Day Out (big music festival that goes around asutralia), they let people SMS messages to be displayed on the big screens.

'Chuck Norris got an erection... There were no survivors. '

'Stuck in the bottom of the mars [volta] mosh, please send help, or an erect chuck norris'

[high_down_under]

hehe i dont know why there funny, but they are!

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

[cerridwen]

is chuck norris still around? i saw him do an infomercial once...