You might be a hippie....

[AT98BooBoo]

In the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy's You might be a Redneck series of jokes I propose we start a You might be a Hippie joke thread.

If someone asks "Would you like a roll" and you ask "How much?" You might be a hippie.

If you let postage stamps sit on your tongue while licking them you might be a hippie.

If you own more than three pairs of sandals you might be a hippie.

If two of those pairs are blown out and the third pair is held together by superglue you might be a hippie.

If you automatically associate the word dread with a type of hairstyle you might be a hippie.


lets hear some from all you folks out there ....

[Daniel Herring]

If the expression "Good Shit" makes sense to you - you just might be a hippie.

[Eugene]

If you ever fell out of a tree smoking a joint... you might be a hippy.
If you are able to go on a tangent on the evils of the drug war, george bush, and voltron in one sentence.
If people have passed out when you high five them... (Smelly hippies!)
You can't even pronounce "Job".
If it lists on your resume "followed Phish/grateful dead/String Cheese Incident" for three years.

[Zajko]

You might be a hippie if...

Ihe only synthetic chemicals you allow into your body are mind-altering.

[Zajko]

You wear Old Woodman's Fly Dope because you like the way it subtly complements your natural fragrance.

[Zajko]

You realize that your clothing and houseware purchases are supporting the economies of Guatemala, Ecuador and Bali.

[Zajko]

You get a brand new PT Cruiser and paint it up as a psychedelic beach buggy.

[Zajko]

You are often greeted by people on the street saying: "Weren't you at such-and-such festival or gathering?" followed by: "I almost didn't recoignise you with your clothes on!"

[AT98BooBoo]

Lmao

[drumminmama]

if your house has eight cylenders and once took kiddies to class....

[Maggie Sugar]

The only safe place to hide your stash from your freinds (or your kids) is under the soap....

[A-Shwa-Child]

lol...

[Eugene]

Your hair contains a fully functional eco-system.

[MikeE]

you're not sure how to work a lock.

[newo]

This has been done before http://hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=21799

[Maggie Sugar]

If you are too lazy (or stoned) to look through the back pages to find hippy jokes........you might just be a hippy.

[DancerAnnie]

The only safe place to hide your stash from your freinds (or your kids) is under the soap....
I like this one the best LOL

[Maggie Sugar]

I first heard this at a Greatful Dead concert. A dude was panhandling yelling, "Spare change for bad jokes." So, my dh gave him a buck for this one and a few others.

Here's the other one.

Q: How do you know a hippy has been staying at your house?
A: He's still there.

Q: How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 2,000. One to change the bulb, and 1,999 to complain, piss and moan about it, blame the government, and light the bowl while watching the other dude work.

[MikeE]

If you have more drums than socks . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

If you've ever put a flower is someone's hair . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

If you have a favorite rock . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

If you know Arlo's garden hater's words to the Garden Song . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

If you asked your pet's opinion about the spay/neuter decision . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

If their advice was helpful . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

If you've ever been in Olema . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

If you child is named after a celestial object . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

If answering "what's your favorite Dead song?" takes longer than five minutes . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

[Maggie Sugar]

OMG, I'm a freakin Hippy....I answered yes to six of these.

[DancerAnnie]

I first heard this at a Greatful Dead concert. A dude was panhandling yelling, "Spare change for bad jokes." So, my dh gave him a buck for this one and a few others.

Here's the other one.

Q: How do you know a hippy has been staying at your house?
A: He's still there.

Q: How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 2,000. One to change the bulb, and 1,999 to complain, piss and moan about it, blame the government, and light the bowl while watching the other dude work.
I heard both of those about Rainbows ;)

[MikeE]

If 4:20 is the only time you are punctual . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

[Turn]

Brilliant, every one made me laugh, especailly the takes five minuets to answer whats your favorite dead song

[tuesdaystar]

Your only debts are to the library

[Old N00B-ette]

If you laugh at a Falcons HS football game when the cheerleader says
"GIVE ME AN F"

[SunLion]

Years ago I started a "You might be a redneck deadhead if..." list. I'll paste it in below. Not exactly on topic, but close enough maybe for a chuckle.

-If your Pit Bull wears beads or a tie-dye bandana- or smells like patchouli...
-If you have to spit tobacco outta yer mouth before calling the State Highway Patrolman a "pig."
-If you have to pick salt out of your ass while out pickin' shrooms.
-If your flatbed truck has a VW Microbus welded to it ...
-If you bring your "feeshin' pole" to shows at Deer Creek...
-If the gunrack in your pickup truck holds more psychedelic kites and tie-dye flags than shotguns...
-If your front porch collapses and seriously injures more than three hippies sleeping under it...
-If your tie-dyes are all in camouflage colors...
-If, at shows, you vend "Kind Venison Burritos."
-If your microbus is primer red and duct tape grey...
-If you have a Confederate Flag on the Volkswagon Microbus- into which you must climb via the window...
-If you would really really REALLLLLY like to take your cousin "on tour."
-If your father is the leader of your Uncle John's Band...
-If your favorite shotgun is named "Althea" and your favorite handgun "Sugar Mag."...
-If part of your family sleeps in a colorful repainted old school bus that's up on blocks in your front yard...
-If you bring your taxidermist along when you go on tour...
-If the head of any large mammal (or the complete body of any fish or reptile) is mounted inside your bus...
-If you've ever gone to a show via Greyhound- or an 18-Wheeler you drove yourself...
-If you consider Falls City to be a Kind Import...
-If you have a tie-dye band around your cowboy hat...
-If you buy your tie-dyes at Walmart...

[drumminmama]

If you have more drums than socks . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

If you've ever put a flower is someone's hair . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

If you have a favorite rock . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

If you know Arlo's garden hater's words to the Garden Song . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

If you asked your pet's opinion about the spay/neuter decision . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

If their advice was helpful . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

If you've ever been in Olema . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

If you child is named after a celestial object . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.

If answering "what's your favorite Dead song?" takes longer than five minutes . . . . . . . . .you may be a hippy.if you know that those words were not Arlo's and you have the Rise Up Singing songbook that has them... you ARE a hippy.