Deadweight

[Azura_Mist]

Every moment of you is a weight in me now
The more you turn your back on me, the more I fall
Now, I’ve reached the point of crawling in the darkness
Growing sicker with every attempt to shut you out
Your voice grows tired with age
And here I am thinking my evil thoughts
Thinking the one you love did all this to you
All because she is not me and I would care more about you
Your concept of time is a far stretch to the edges of the universe
And I am some lowly exploding star in the center of my world
Because nothing is instant, I should have known that
No one ever taught me and I will never learn
I am reality’s enemy while you are its gateway to fantasy
Have they barred me from your gates?
Have they even set you as my destiny?
I’m beginning to think the world wants this
They all want to see me crushed under the weight of you
Lying on a couch, spilling your torment out to no one who understands
Sitting in a cold room somewhere with a thorazine drip
Losing myself in constant sleep
Disconnecting from anything but life
For, the end of me is not the only end of you
Now, I sit, afraid to lose my connections
To the love of my family and the importance of my tasks
And I’m blaming you for driving me under all this weight
An evil seed that in four years’ time grew into a monster
Tamed only by your touch
And the warm breath of your living song in my ear
So, please come to me as soon as you can
Don’t let me fall any further
Don’t leave my life and well-being cancelled and delayed
In another one of your burdened moments