Thinking of proposing a threesome to my boyfriend..

[lace_and_feet]

The idea has always been curious to me but I've never really seen it as a real possibility until last night when I was thinking to myself as I was falling asleep. I'm pretty sure he'd be up for it; we've talked about it a couple times before, but more as just fantasy than reality. We've both agreed that we'd like it to be a two-male one-female situation. I guess the main thing I'm worried about is that he'd be against my choice in a third person: one of his good friends. It's not that I'm particularly attracted to his friend, it's just that I like the kind of person he is and would feel safe and comfortable with him as part of the experience.

I'm not really looking for advice; my boyfriend and I (and his friend, if things go well) will work this out ourselves. I just wanted to get it off my chest.

[Goddess_on_my_Knees]

Good Luck:D

[lace_and_feet]

Thanks. :)

[tigerlily]

sounds great, and i second the good luck :)

[RimmyDelicious]

good luck, it sounds a bit dangerous to me...not physically dangerous but emotionally.

[lace_and_feet]

Thanks.

But Rimmy, why does it sound emotionally dangerous? I'm not taking offense, I'm just genuinely curious and encourage the feedback.

[andcrs2]

Q:
But Rimmy, why does it sound emotionally dangerous? I'm not taking offense, I'm just genuinely curious and encourage the feedback. A:

I guess the main thing I'm worried about is that he'd be against my choice in a third person: one of his good friends.

[lace_and_feet]

We talked about it earlier today. I didn't mention that I had his friend in mind. Instead, I asked him who he'd feel most comfortable with, and it turns out that he had the same person in mind! So, so far so good. The conversation actually opened the door for a lot of things we had had on our minds, so it was good that we talked about it in any sense.

[ihmurria]

lucky girl! I hope it all works out well for you... from what I've heard from other people, it's a good idea to lay down some rules before hand. ie who can go where, who can't go where, what activities are simply no go for anyone. and make sure you have plenty of condoms on hand :D

[Bella_Donna]

I think involving a good friend of your boyfriend's may result in some undesired outcomes. I find it better to have strangers involved, things don't as get awkward that way.

[IronGoth]

RE: I guess the main thing I'm worried about is that he'd be against my choice in a third person: one of his good friends.

As someone who's not gay, I don't take it up the ass, but I'd imagine if I did I'd be pretty choosy as to whom I did that kind of thing with. If you're gonna propose having two men and you, maybe it might behoove you to consider that he'd want to be comfortable, more so than you, with who you bring in.

[GypsyPriestess]

;) Good Luck;)

[hippypaul]

Welcome to the wonderful world of non-traditional sex - Hope all goes well and a good time is had by all.

[daisiespirit]

Make sure that everyone is on the same page and has the same expectations.
It can bring lots of pleasure and add plenty of hot spice but also can cause damage that can't be fixed. Good Luck, have fun and enjoy!!

[lace_and_feet]

Thanks for the input, everyone.

Ihmurria, yes putting down some rules is a good idea and we have already talked about it a bit. And condoms will definitely be used. http://www.hipforums.com/forums/images/smilies/smile.gif

Bella_Donna, that's a good point, one that my boyfriend and I have discussed thoroughly and are still possibly considering. The thing is, we want to be comfortable with the person and know where he is coming from in terms of sexual and emotional background. The reason we both chose him is, because of the dynamic of our relationships and just the kind of people we all are, it would be very unlikely to have that after-the-fact awkwardness.

Irongoth, the two-male one-female situation was originally more of his fantasy than mine. And like I said earlier, though you may have missed it since it was on the bottom of the first page, when I asked my boyfriend who he would want as the third person, without knowing who I had in mind, he said that he'd want his friend (the same one I was thinking of).
But I understand what you're saying about making his comfort more of a priority than mine given that he could possibly be in a more delicate situation. I have left it completely up to him with no pressure either way. We're both still deliberating, in fact. Oh, and to add to your comment, there will most likely not be any anal involved. We're just talking traditional and oral here.

And thanks again to everyone. The comments and constructive criticism are all really appreciated; this isn't something I want to go into blindly so it helps having a few devil's advocates.

[urbangal]

Damn......

Er.....

Can I watch as a fourth? *g*

[lace_and_feet]

LOL urbangal!

[xaosflux]

Is your bf bi?

[skybird]

The idea has always been curious to me but I've never really seen it as a real possibility until last night when I was thinking to myself as I was falling asleep. I'm pretty sure he'd be up for it; we've talked about it a couple times before, but more as just fantasy than reality. We've both agreed that we'd like it to be a two-male one-female situation. I guess the main thing I'm worried about is that he'd be against my choice in a third person: one of his good friends. It's not that I'm particularly attracted to his friend, it's just that I like the kind of person he is and would feel safe and comfortable with him as part of the experience.

I'm not really looking for advice; my boyfriend and I (and his friend, if things go well) will work this out ourselves. I just wanted to get it off my chest.

My advise here is don't do it. A sexual relationship, even though it's one time, is ignited with so much emotions there is bound to have something go wrong. Pretty soon there would be jealousy all around and it would eventually be YOU as the main victim.

[LuvlyLolita]

Sounds like fun... I'd love to watch as well! ;o) Threesomes, with the right group is very f-u-n, fun

[hippypaul]

My advise here is don't do it. A sexual relationship, even though it's one time, is ignited with so much emotions there is bound to have something go wrong. Pretty soon there would be jealousy all around and it would eventually be YOU as the main victim.
Been working for us for a lot of years - no victims seen yet (grin)

[Anaconda man]

This situation reminds me of something that happened to me a few years ago. My best friend and his girlfriend were thinking of spicing things up with a threesome, and she had her eye on me. So even though I was wary, we went through with it. And it was a disaster, the sex was good but little did I know she had gone off him and wanted me instead. I did'nt fancy her and would'nt do that to a friend anyway, but she would'nt take no for an answer. It ended up getting very messy, my best friend was heartbroken and almost committed suicide, and our friendship is still not the same. I'm not saying that will happen in your case, you are completely different people, but it's an unpredictabe situation that could spring up many problems. Just thought you would like to here the opinion of someone that's been there and done it. Good luck whatever you decide, lace and feet. :)