PDA

View Full Version : Iron ic Butterfly


VanAstral
05-11-2004, 06:41 PM
playing by the railroad tracks
with m’lady,
spending money, ironing coins
...
taking pictures of butterflies,
petting snakes,
avoiding wet spots and thorns
...
scratching ankles, rolling grass
some awe from circling hawks,
clothes not breezy enough: take ‘em off
...
hear the highway far away,
loud crickets,
laugh at thier situation
...
anticipate the sun’s arrival
from behind blinding
Elvis-shaped clouds... though she sees crabs?
...
inspiration,
that's what she gives
i see the crabs!
...
but mostly we’re by the tracks
me and m'lady
spending money, ironing coins

part 2
from between heavy steel
it had slipped,
whip crack, lightning heat,
...
it had to be the quarter,
not the dime or nickel or penny,
but the quarter
...
that killed m’lady,
lovely under all clouds,
my inspiration

part 3
she eats crab
with kings in heaven
on fine spring days
...
the Buddha laughs
at my pridicament
my fine spring day

Pablo
05-12-2004, 01:37 AM
interesting, whyd you kill her?

VanAstral
05-12-2004, 02:01 AM
Ha! I didn't kill her, silly goose... the quarter did.

it could've just as easily been me. Or a deer, which I forgot to mention.

Pablo
05-12-2004, 02:25 AM
ok, i got that but why did you have her die in the poem

Incubus
05-12-2004, 02:29 AM
I really liked it, it sounded like a childrens book poem until you ended the ladies life! I loved the embrasive setting feel, and the great description of the area, it felt like i was there. damn this is good weed...

VanAstral
05-12-2004, 02:36 AM
ahh... she died just because... thought i'd change the pace, play the heart strings, words on the woods has been done before.
cheers ya'll!

Pablo
05-12-2004, 02:52 AM
oh of couce, Loved ones tragic deaths have never been done before though. :p

I had a cat named snowball, she died she died
mom said she was sleeping, she lied, she lied
why does my kitty cat have to be dead
couldent that crystler have hit me instead
-lisa simpson

VanAstral
05-12-2004, 06:56 AM
i have a sort of dilemma: new threads or one long one?

ahh... just see how it goes with the flow eh...



pretty distraction


If candles are lit
And your spleen throbs a bass line
If hydration is quenched
And maslow is satisfied
If your socks have no holes
And the laundry’s on the line
If your lungs are expressing their gratitude
And there’s grape juice in your belly,
If you’ve thought about kissing,
And didn’t feel lonely,
If you’re excited about dreaming,
And ponder the meaning of,
If it’s a starry night
And the windows are open
If you’re beautiful
And recognize beauty
If you have answers
And care to share
If you arouse me
And all my senses
If we’re not serious
And you spontaneously say I love you
If you stay
And I say, I think I'll leave
if you don't mind

Fractual_
06-07-2004, 04:28 AM
good poems dude.

liked the second one better, but they were both good

littleskinny
06-07-2004, 11:43 AM
I love the first one. You have a good way of drawing mental pictures to tell a story, with few words. It's like a cartoon strip....