17

[GypsyPriestess]

I wrote this one quite some time ago, and I thought I had lost it. Things have changed a lot in my life since then, but I can remember exactly how I felt when I wrote it. -- GypsyPriestess

17
Today's my birthday.
I'm seventeen.

One year now till I'm on my own.

What happened to sweet sixteen?

I was sweet once.

I can barely remember it.

Somewhere between infancy and youth.

What happened to my childhood?

Pain happened, hell happened.

Forced to face decisions, lies,

things an adult shudders to face.

All alone, lonely in school,

facing horrors most forget.

I never forgot.

Even though I tried.

All I have left is my mind,

and my few tattered scraps of pride.

I've hardened those shreds,

made them into solid walls,

and now I can't get out.

My fear sometimes is palpable,

my rage a deadly whirlpool, and I'm drowning,

but I can't seem to learn how to swim.

They try to help me,

but my rage/terror shield holds them off.

Some think I'm insane,

and sometimes I wish it were true.

If I were completely insane,

I wouldn't care if I hurt

everyone around me.

And I wouldn't be here now.

I'm too sane really,

I care too much,

and I know what would happen

were I to choose the easy way out.

I'm seventeen,

going on ancient,

and I'm tired.

[Keramptha]

holy shit... thats SO flipping good.... wow. stunned... i wish i knew you when i was doing a levels...i found that the hardset thing ever.

[Scarlit Rose Flowz]

hmmm sounds like something I would have wrote. Word for word almost,kinda weird. I'm also a bit of an aspiring gypsy, but that path seems a bit greedy(No offense meant at ALL)... I'm an avid environmentalist and not trying to really enjoy life too much, lol... not atm anyway, trying to give, get my karma and get the fuck outta this crazy world of ours. Well see where life takes me I guess...

I do hope a lot changes for me in time though... Growing up isnt the most pleasent experience in the world, no doubt. But I know I've learned a lot more responsibility and life lessons than most my age, and matured muuuch more, more than some ever will probably. I have a really kind responsible head on my shoulders, but it seems to be kind to everything but me. Seems like with one fuckup in my life, one wrong step, I'm feeling completley fucked again and dont wanna play life at all anymore =/ I guess the growing I've done is something to be grateful for though.