not for entertainment

[tfou]

probably not even a real poem, but just to get it out my system and maybe someone understands.


never was
things fall apart
and just like that
i knew i never existed
there were no problems
when i was impersonating
but now that i recognize it
it all falls apart
and who i used to pretend to be
is irrelevant
are you as disappointed in me
as i am in myself
do you wish i had it figured out
or do you want to see me fail
this is new to me
as i struggle to become me
i fail miserably
i wish i wasn't me
again


the history of she
and father begot daughter
who was nurtured by mother
and daughter was prayed upon
and grew to obey in the traditional ways
and she tried to form herself
into that common mold
trying to be
but continually losing herself
how can you grow
if you don't know your history
if you never let yourself be free
but you continue your life
never fulfilled
you never really could hide it though
eventually you break
you don't know who you are
where you come from
your history
you let no one in
it's called an illusion
or just being fake
and everything changed
you never could be saved from it
never worthy enough
always thinking your skin was thick
but they got to you--pierced you
and worse yet--always saw through you
and here she presents herself
raw and unrefined

[brandonveg]

never was is pretty cool

[make art not war]

I really liked "Never Was" although, "The History of She" is pretty good too. I can relate a lot better to Never Was and if this isn't poetry I don't know what is.

Is it just me or does it seem that it was broken into two parts. It might just be me because the "first" part...
[things fall apart
and just like that
i knew i never existed
there were no problems
when i was impersonating
but now that i recognize it
it all falls apart
and who (http://216.130.188.200/cgi-bin/ezlclk.fcgi?id=9842)i used to pretend to be
is irrelevant]
...really reminds me of my first acid trip
and the "second" part reminds me of the conversation I had with my mom after I got busted for possesion.

I don't know if this is kind of what you wrote this piece about or if it has any similarity to what I may have misinterpretated it to be, but it is really a great piece of POETRY and enjoyed reading every bit of it.

[Scarlit Rose Flowz]

how am i not myself? :)