girls...would you date someone w/std's?

[jacobfredjo]

my question for the ladies: would you ever date someone with std's if you are clean? Not w/aids ofcourse. But would you? Happy Trails, Peace!

[Albin0]

I would have to say a resounding "NO FUCKING WAY!" (I'm assuming that the std's we're talking about are HPV and herpes, since they're the only uncurable ones and they are easily transmitted even with a condom!)

Now, if I also had the same STDs as them it'd be different.

[toolmaggot]

No thanks.

[rubytuesday]

No. Would you?

[warpedsoaper]

Hell no!

[icedteapriestess]

what a silly question! who would??!

[IronGoth]

I'm a guy, and yeah, I would, so long as everything was upfront and the priority was keeping illness from going from one person to the other.

I mean, 40-50% of the adult population has herpes without even knowing it. HPV and chlamidya rates, unknown, are 60-70% iirc.

I could easily see falling in love with a girl with HIV, for example. I'd respect the illness but that wouldn't stop me from loving her. Gays deal with this all the time.

[rmorgan]

I've heard the percentage of people with genital herpes is up near 60%. Since the vast majority don't have outbreaks, they have no idea.

That being said, I'm still voting no.

[Dariah]

no... i wouldn't want to.




But what if he/she didn't tell you? What would you all do?

[IronGoth]

RE: But what if he/she didn't tell you? What would you all do?

Treat it as any other instance of gross lying and deception and kick her to the curb.

[rmorgan]

I was told by a guy I was seeing that he had herpes after we had slept together one time. I never even kissed him again.

[Dariah]

none of my partners have told me that they were infected. So either they were clean, or just good liars. If they lied to me, I might have to chop off their dicks.

[IronGoth]

As I said, it's your right to take or not take risks.

There are guys who live together, one's HIV+ the other stays clean the entire time.

[marbchic]

nonono . . . those folks should be at an STD hook-up site

[rmorgan]

nonono . . . those folks should be at an STD hook-up siteAnd hooking-up through an STD site will make a great story for the grandkids.

[IronGoth]

rmorgan - thing is, you might be "carrying" herpes right now as a result...

[rmorgan]

Have you ever gotten a BJ and after the girl swallows you tell her you have
AIDS? I think that would be a combination of funny and mean."I could have sworn I told you..."

[lucyinthesky]

I'm a guy, and yeah, I would, so long as everything was upfront and the priority was keeping illness from going from one person to the other.

I mean, 40-50% of the adult population has herpes without even knowing it. HPV and chlamidya rates, unknown, are 60-70% iirc.

I could easily see falling in love with a girl with HIV, for example. I'd respect the illness but that wouldn't stop me from loving her. Gays deal with this all the time.

i couldn't agree more. You can't help who you fall in love with. Disease doesn't stop love. And sometimes accidents happen, people cheat and one is left with something only because their sole mistake was trusting someone who was supposed to love and respect them.
Now having casual sex with someone with an std, that's a whole other question.
I know someone who fucked someone who was HIV+ and laughed about it, "whatever, we used a condom" To boot, she has 2 fucking children to care for. Who does that? THAT is sickning!

[jacobfredjo]

yeah i also agree with lucy. I wouldnt care what happened as long as i was in love. But thats me i guess. I was just curious as to what all the ladies thought but thanks for all the replies. I think love is what we were put on this earth for....to fall in love and have families right? So if i knew a girl w/ an std and i fell in love with her i would first have a chat to find out if she just wants to fuck or if she wants to fall in love. If she wants to just fuck around then i would say peace, but i would never deny love. but ofcourse we would have to compromise by having protected sex all the time. but i think thats a fair price to pay if you truely have found a soulmate.
happy trails

[Albin0]

I think love is what we were put on this earth for....to fall in love and have families right?
WTF? So if we don't have families or fall in love we're not fufilling some destiny?
Please, I'd be happy if I was alone the rest of my life.. and as for having a family? I have one, me and my cat.

[ponydozer]

i couldn't agree more. You can't help who you fall in love with. Disease doesn't stop love. And sometimes accidents happen, people cheat and one is left with something only because their sole mistake was trusting someone who was supposed to love and respect them.
Now having casual sex with someone with an std, that's a whole other question.
I know someone who fucked someone who was HIV+ and laughed about it, "whatever, we used a condom" To boot, she has 2 fucking children to care for. Who does that? THAT is sickning!
I agree. It totally depends on the situation. The way someone contracts an STD may tell you what sort of person they are anyway. Me and my partner of two years were treated for an STD a while back. It wasn't serious, but it did give me a little perspective on this issue.
What makes me incredibly sad is hearing about people who contract AIDS through a blood transfusion. Totally blameless, but you're likely to never be physically close with anyone again because of it.

[pansy]

..

[firelip]

Most if not all of the posters who said, "no way", etc. already have HPV at the very least. There is absolutely no way that they can prove to anyone or themselves that they are not HPV or HSV positive.

Anyone who has ever had unprotected intercourse or felatio, who claimes to be "disease free" is either ignorant or a liar!

[Hippievixen]

I would not date anyone infected with a disease that would kill me - but if it was HSV or HPV, and they were up-front and honest about it from the beginning, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

[Bella_Donna]

Like most things in life, it would completely depend upon the situation.

[jacobfredjo]

WTF? So if we don't have families or fall in love we're not fufilling some destiny?
Please, I'd be happy if I was alone the rest of my life.. and as for having a family? I have one, me and my cat.
sorry....i was just trying to explain my point of view. Id much rather have a family with a human than a cat any day lol

[PurpleGel]

Anyone who has ever had unprotected intercourse or felatio, who claimes to be "disease free" is either ignorant or a liar!
uhh, wait... we're not BORN into the world with STDs.

..you're saying that two virgins who have unprotected sex together are suddenly carrying sexual disease?? i hope i'm just misinterpreting you!

[firelip]

PurpleGel,

perhaps you should meet Weeble:

here is an excerpt of her post on another thread:


begin quote:
.. also something like 97% have a type of HPV and they don't test for it like a normal STD.. If you went into a clinic and told them you wanted to be tested for all STD's they wouldn't test you for HPV unless you said HPV as well.

Most males are hard to diagnose and diagnosis in a female comes from an irregular pap smear. I also didn't catch it from having sex as I was diagnosed with it when I was a virgin. My mother gave it to me.

It causes cellular changes in the cervix which can cause cervical cancer. But the cells can also change back bringing it out the precancerous stage. My doctor told me a lot about this and only 3% of all that is diagnosed with HPV 16 and 18 ever develop cancer. In women only 1% of that 3% wasn't able to have children due to cervical cancer and no one has ever died of HPV.
__________________

end quote

[firelip]

Somewhere between 70-90% of sexually active people carry a potentially dangerous STD. Many like Weeble have always had it. There are ways to controll this virus, but no cure. We all need to be aware and lessen the rampant spread of HPV strains.

The biggest problem in my view is the idea that a blowjob is somehow safe without condoms. Blowjobs are likely the primary way that dangerous HPV strains are spred amongst the western populations. HPV grows just fine on the larnyx as well as the cervix. Two to three random blowjobs, and your odds of having HPV is extremely high.

Be aware and be safe!

Jim

[Weeble]

Somewhere between 70-90% of sexually active people carry a potentially dangerous STD. Many like Weeble have always had it. There are ways to controll this virus, but no cure. We all need to be aware and lessen the rampant spread of HPV strains.

The biggest problem in my view is the idea that a blowjob is somehow safe without condoms. Blowjobs are likely the primary way that dangerous HPV strains are spred amongst the western populations. HPV grows just fine on the larnyx as well as the cervix. Two to three random blowjobs, and your odds of having HPV is extremely high.

Be aware and be safe!

Jim
I notice you mention blowjobs but what about it being passed by a guy eating a girl out?

[Trippin' Billies]

no way jose

[firelip]

The transmission of the various HPV strains is poorly understood. There is no definitive answer to your question about oral sex the other way around. A comprehensive study amongst lesbians might provide some insight, but i have not seen any such study.

Certainly, the "wart" variety can be spread by cunnalingus, but I doubt that the types that cause cervical and larynx cancer are generally passed that way.

Mouth to vagina is certainly not as dangerous as direct contact of infected cells to the larynx.

The bottom line is, that in my opinion, it is a lot safer, you may find equally qualified opposing views. Medical science is rather ignorant on many fronts.

[ydnim]

I think If I fell in love and then found out someone was carrying a disease it wouldn't matter, but if they came right out and told me before I really knew them i would choose not to be with them.

[Dressed to kill]

I would definitely date someone with a STD as long as its curable.

Though I do have a girlfriend who I love and is clean, Im happy with whats up. But if she had herpes and I just met her, I think Id still date her.

So answering your question, Yes I would.

But, would you date anyone with a minor case of STD's?

Nothing like Herpes or HIV/AIDs, for example, scabes or crabs.

[HelloToYou]

I wouldn't let something like that get in the way of me loving someone.

[RimmyDelicious]

Depends on how hot the girl is. If she's hot enough, I would eat an HIV infected girl's coochie.

[RimmyDelicious]

I had sex with a girl who had crabs once. Since I refuse to wear condoms, I took a page out of the Amish Handbook and cut a hole in the sheet. I slipped my dick through the hole, and had sex. We had great sex, and I didn't catch crabs! See, you just have to deal with situations rationally, and with deep thought and insight, like I do.

[lilylove]

...depends on the person....but yeah I think I wouldIf someone is honest and open about it and we talk about it and he is a great guy, then sure. I just have to think about how I would feel if the tables were turned.

[dropkickinferno]

yeah. i wouldn't care. if i fell in love with someone and they had an std i would deal with it. sex isn't everything anyway.

[YellowBellyHippy]

I'm a guy, and yeah, I would, so long as everything was upfront and the priority was keeping illness from going from one person to the other.

I mean, 40-50% of the adult population has herpes without even knowing it. HPV and chlamidya rates, unknown, are 60-70% iirc.

I could easily see falling in love with a girl with HIV, for example. I'd respect the illness but that wouldn't stop me from loving her. Gays deal with this all the time.
I like this response, very very nice.

[AllieCat]

Hmmm, I don't know. I don't think I would.

[MeMilesAway]

Whata nutty question and why only directed at ladies?

[AllieCat]

I don't really like carrots.

[jacobfredjo]

sorry Miles.....I didnt intend it to be DIRECTED at ladies....i was just curious as to what everyone thought. But i dont think its a nutty question. Is there really anything that is a nutty or stupid question? I dont think everyone who does have a disease thinks its a nutty question.

[LoriBaby]

hell motherfucking no

[MeMilesAway]

I happen to be deathly allergic to all nuts...and dangerous situations for me sometimes get called 'nutty'. I didn't realize I was typing it...ya know audience that doesn't know that. Like an inside joke.

But I def don't think it is a stupid question. I just wondered whiy it is directed exclusively toward women, and you answered that.


It's tuff. I'd like to think that I'd do anything if in love...but I just don't know.

[firelip]

hell motherfucking no
This poster is a bit dogmatic for someone who almost certainly has an incurable sexually transmitted virus. LoriBabby, your ignorance is showing

Jim

More Love!
Less Fear!

[Big Bull]

Thats why giving oral sex great, gives you time to inspect! Always ask, but they may lie, so just say not this time!

[jacobfredjo]

im not a big fan of oral sex to tell ya the truth. I think its kinda nasty that girls would wanna suck some dudes cock. Dudes are gross as hell (especially when you are gonna give one of em some head). I would much rather have sex anyways. It feels better. For both parties. Then i dont have to cringe when i want to kiss her either. :)

[dropkickinferno]

you can still get stds from oral sex. so it doesn't really make a difference if you do that first.

[jacobfredjo]

you can still get stds from oral sex. so it doesn't really make a difference if you do that first.
Excellent point mr.dropkick.

[LoriBaby]

hahha yes of course firelip thats why i dont wanna date someone with std's.......how about the fact i dont want to risk catching an std because im clean.......but im sorry i offended you and yours


This poster is a bit dogmatic for someone who almost certainly has an incurable sexually transmitted virus. LoriBabby, your ignorance is showing

Jim

More Love!
Less Fear!

[firelip]

hahha yes of course firelip thats why i dont wanna date someone with std's.......how about the fact i dont want to risk catching an std because im clean.......but im sorry i offended you and yours
Loribaby is definitely rather confused about the realities. Lori, you have absolutely no way of knowing that you are "clean". Chances are that you have HPV on your cervix and larnyx. There is absolutely no way you can prove that you do not have HPV. If you have ever had oral sex with a man, your chances of HPV infection are very high. There is no cure and no test that can prove you clean! Chances are you may have herpes and there is noway to prove that you do not have that one either.

If you are unwilling to have sex with someone with an std, then do not have sex any more even with yourself. less than 10% of the sexually active population is std free, and they can not prove it in any event. Focus on HIV and the other biggies. Those have useful tests. Ignorance can be dangerous!

Jim

[MeMilesAway]

Loribaby is definitely rather confused about the realities. Lori, you have absolutely no way of knowing that you are "clean". Chances are that you have HPV on your cervix and larnyx. There is absolutely no way you can prove that you do not have HPV. If you have ever had oral sex with a man, your chances of HPV infection are very high. There is no cure and no test that can prove you clean! Chances are you may have herpes and there is noway to prove that you do not have that one either.

If you are unwilling to have sex with someone with an std, then do not have sex any more even with yourself. less than 10% of the sexually active population is std free, and they can not prove it in any event. Focus on HIV and the other biggies. Those have useful tests. Ignorance can be dangerous!

Jim
firelip, i am quite confident that a muzzle would do wonders for you; your assholicness is showing.

[firelip]

MeMiles, do you have a problem with the truth, or do you support dangerous ignorance. Your comment has nothing to do with this thread. If you have a problem with me, write me. If you disagree with what i say, then show my error. Otherwise piss off!

jim

[LoriBaby]

Looks like someone has a little more than just an ordinary case of crabs........i wonder who it is???



Im real sorry that i upset you but the fact still remains i will not mess with someone who i knew had an std...........You may say its judgemental ......but most will say its smart


and i beleive miles was telling you off for jumping my ass for no reason.......unless this is a personal subject:p




MeMiles, do you have a problem with the truth, or do you support dangerous ignorance. Your comment has nothing to do with this thread. If you have a problem with me, write me. If you disagree with what i say, then show my error. Otherwise piss off!

jim

[happy_kel]

my question for the ladies: would you ever date someone with std's if you are clean? Not w/aids ofcourse. But would you? Happy Trails, Peace!
if I knew before we were dating, NO if I found while we were going out I was question him HIGHLY and get myself tested

[firelip]

Loribaby, you missed the point. Define your STDs girl! Every potential sex partner has an STD and so do you. At least that should be your assumption since 80% or more do, and there is no way to tell which ones don't. I am just trying to get you to learn a bit more on the subject rather than express yourself in a way that reveals a dangerous level of ignorance. No shame in ignorance like STDs it is something we all have in one form or another.Unlike STDs, ignorance is easily cured, but willful ignorance is rather silly!

I would not knowingly start a sexual relationship with an HIV positive person.
I would also avoid starting a sexual relationship with someone who i thought might have a chance of truely being free of all STDs. Virgins are not to my taste anyway, and even virginity is no assurance of a lack of infection.

[MeMilesAway]

This a thread directed at girls
hell motherfucking noThat was a girl's response

This poster is a bit dogmatic for someone who almost certainly has an incurable sexually transmitted virus. LoriBabby, your ignorance is showingThis is a general address that calls attention to the entire forum to single out one person, eg. this poster, and apply the label ignorant.

hahha yes of course firelip thats why i dont wanna date someone with std's.......how about the fact i dont want to risk catching an std because im clean.......but im sorry i offended you and yoursI think everybody knows what LoriBaby means. She doesn't have to be so explicit as to list the STDs she--and all of us for that matter--are thinking about when we respond to a thread like this. And of course, she says she is clean as far as those STDs we are all thinking about. But for someone called 'ignorant' I think this was a rather polite response.

Loribaby is definitely rather confused about the realities. Lori, you have absolutely no way of knowing that you are "clean". Chances are that you have HPV on your cervix and larnyx. There is absolutely no way you can prove that you do not have HPV. If you have ever had oral sex with a man, your chances of HPV infection are very high. There is no cure and no test that can prove you clean! Chances are you may have herpes and there is noway to prove that you do not have that one either.

If you are unwilling to have sex with someone with an std, then do not have sex any more even with yourself. less than 10% of the sexually active population is std free, and they can not prove it in any event. Focus on HIV and the other biggies. Those have useful tests. Ignorance can be dangerous! Again an address not to the poster LoriBaby, but a general comment to the forum about the poster. At this point, as I was first reading, my intial thought was 'Asshole. Why is this person talking about the other in reference as a means of responding.' It's kind of like losers who refer to themselves in the 3rd person. So my response, is this:
firelip, i am quite confident that a muzzle would do wonders for you; your assholicness is showing.So a harsh personal attack, but one clearly addressed to you. As a response to your 'your ignorance is showing'...I was explaining to you that your response to LoriBaby was, like I said above...an asshole's response. So a muzzle would help with that whole 'shutup' lesson you obviously need to learn.
MeMiles, do you have a problem with the truth, or do you support dangerous ignorance. Your comment has nothing to do with this thread. If you have a problem with me, write me. If you disagree with what i say, then show my error. Otherwise piss off! My comment has everything to do with this thread because your posts, which I responded to, lie within this thread. Your dangerous ignorance, and this whole idea of incurable STDs (herpes) is soooo irelevant to the topic at hand. Nobody is thinking or caring about the diseases you refer to. You are an idiot for bringing them up. It almost seems that you sat waiting for a comment like LoriBaby's so you could jump up and down screaming..."Hey, Hey look at me".
Looks like someone has a little more than just an ordinary case of crabs........i wonder who it is???



Im real sorry that i upset you but the fact still remains i will not mess with someone who i knew had an std...........You may say its judgemental ......but most will say its smart


and i beleive miles was telling you off for jumping my ass for no reason.......unless this is a personal subjecthttp://www.hipforums.com/forums/images/smilies/tongue.gif
I was doing just that LoriBaby. I figured you knew what the thread starter meant like the rest of us. There are lil STDs that we've all heard about, and BIG ones. Bloody cold sores didn't need to be brought up. If almost everyone has STDs this thread doesn't exist. LoriBaby, would you like to help me present firelip with the Hipforum's Captain Obvious Award?

Loribaby, you missed the point. Define your STDs girl! Every potential sex partner has an STD and so do you. At least that should be your assumption since 80% or more do, and there is no way to tell which ones don't. I am just trying to get you to learn a bit more on the subject rather than express yourself in a way that reveals a dangerous level of ignorance. No shame in ignorance like STDs it is something we all have in one form or another.Unlike STDs, ignorance is easily cured, but willful ignorance is rather silly!

I would not knowingly start a sexual relationship with an HIV positive person.
I would also avoid starting a sexual relationship with someone who i thought might have a chance of truely being free of all STDs. Virgins are not to my taste anyway, and even virginity is no assurance of a lack of infection.No dude you missed the point. This girl responded to the post. You took it in some uneeded direction; it was a personal attack in fact. Nobody needs to know that you are factoring those insignificant STDs into the question. And pleeeaase I use 'insignificant' in comparison to the biggies.

Just freak'n muzzle it....and snap to it. And yeah...mine (this) is a bit personal after you tell me to piss off.

;) --oh, the wink means that its all in a bit of fun...just cuz I know you need clarification on things that are obvious to others. :p

[LoriBaby]

*claps excitely for memilesaway*


thank you for defending me and expresing my point so eloquently..........good job

[firelip]

MeMiles, such ignorance is indeed dangerous. "insignificant STDs" Get a grip! How insignificant is cervical and larnyx cancer? You mentioned herpes, but primarily i was talking about HPV. Unfortunately, few people understand HPV and the hazards, especially when it comes to fellatio and vector transmission to cervical cancer. Tell my friend who was born with HPV in her throat and has had over a dozen opperations growing up. Tell my other friend who had herpes so bad she could not work for weeks. These are serious issues that are very confusing and poorly understood by the general public. When someone demonstrates that they are making assumptions that are contrary to the current state of knowledge, i like to help correct the public record. It is one way i can give back. I appologise for any unkind tone in that correction.
HPV and HSV are both incurable and definitely not insignificant pathogens. There are no tests that can tell you that you do not carry these viruses. Education and safer sex practices are our only hope to slow this epidemic. The pressent fallatious assumption by many that fellatio is relatively safe has helped to explode the HPV infection rate. That is a lot of cervical and larnyx cancer that the next generation could avoid. Not to mention warts etc.

Insignificant huh, i bet you are quite the pathogen spreader ther MeMiles if that is the way you think. I spred HPV to those i loved out of ignorance. I would love to help at least one person not make the same mistake i did. Cervical cancer sucks and often comes from sucking!

Jim

[MeMilesAway]

thats fine.

[physics]

Well the problem is that many people don't even know if they have STD's. If you want to be sure, you'd have to test your partner, you just can't take anyone's word. But not too many people will run to the clinics just for dating.

[ProzacBunny]

Well... You can date someone without actually letting them touch you in any way, including kissing. Although I believe that gains such lovely titles like 'prude' and 'ice queen'. =S
I myself would have to say no, simply because I wouldn't want to become attached to someone who could make me unhealthy.

[urbangal]

As I see it, Firelip made several good points. Others here have made several good points about love not getting in way of dis-ease were still others just flat out won't do it. I applaude you all :)

Anyway, to my own, I'd say I wouldn't remain comfortable enough to date someone with a known dis-ease. Love them as friends, I could do yes but not as lovers.

Having said that, I once had an sexual relationship w/ a gentleman w/ herpes. Though it was dormant, he and I practiced safe sex and actually had a good time but eventually, my own chickness lead me to break it off perm.
We talk here and there plus I still shop at his pagan store though cause they have rad shit I don't have to pay shipping for :)

[Advaya]

Yeah, I would. As long as they were honest and we were safe about it or knew the consquences.

[dropkickinferno]

Yeah, I would. As long as they were honest and we were safe about it or knew the consquences.

yay for real people who aren't self centered.

[jacobfredjo]

yay for real people who aren't self centered.
YAY! lol i agree. Mean people suck.

[Arrows Next Life]

Not a lady, but I'll answer anyway.

Depends on what the STD is and how I feel about the person. If it's curable, sure, but treatment would have to come before sex. Incurable... that really depends on how much I like the person. I don't know if I would turn away a really great person if he had a nasty disease. I could see myself dating somebody who was HIV+ as far as my own health is concerned, the prospect of losing him would be far worse. I've never had to deal with that situation, though, and I hope I don't have to.

[Court_lew_0216]

honestly... i cant help who i fall in love with..... and i fell in love with someone who had an std id be taken aback but hey, it happens to the best.... approximately 60% of people have herpes and are unaware of it....... a stunning 70-90% of people are living with HPV and dont know it..... the chances of contracting one of these viruses during your lifetime is like 70 %......... so i mean... come on....... you're suddenly not going to love someone you fell in love with b/c they have an std...... bullshit........

[moonlightdelerium]

I sound like a douche but I just couldn't do it. STDs are one of those things in life that just really really gross me out, and I guess I'm an asshole for it.

[squawkers7]

Unless you only date virgins or get ever date to take a bloodtest every month for 6 months or so BEFORE you have sex with them then how would you know.
Have u ever dated anyone that had been in the military? ALOT of GI's have gotten some type of STD and have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy or they may not even know themselves.

Now what happens if you are dating someone for a year or so, and then they start getting sick so they decide to go to the doctors and go thru lots of tests, and after loving them for a year or so, they then find out they have a STD....now what do you do?

[LoriBaby]

haha i jut thught this thread needed to be brought back up just bcuz of firelip ignorance