Rambling Stoned....

[~Sam~]

I find myself in a rare mood tonight. It's 12 something AM and the Ole Man's out in the desert somewhere 'til tomorrow evening. I had an awesome time with the animals tonight. I got to spend some free time, devoted only to them as individuals, with only the vagest of spirits looking over my shoulder. Kinda like the feeling I used to get when I was reading something on the Subway, and the fella behind me didn't want me to turn the page because he wasn't finished reading it.

Raven was very glad to come into the barn, I'm only milking once a day, and the milk production is going just where I want it to go... Down. So evening chores is only a matter of throwing grain and hay around and changing water buckets... did I mention affection? When I came back in, my fingertips were black from scratching Everybody where they showed me they itched. Come to think of it... my back kinda itches too. And Ken's.....

Well anyway...

I think that Skip had the right idea in calling this place; The Hip Forums. I feel it's rightgeous to call yourself Hip... hip is sort'a a Free Thinking concept. That, in a nutshell, is what and where we'd like to be... here in this very special corner of the cyberspace.

When I did chores at 5:30 this afternoon, I came in and emailed the In-Laws some of the photos that I've been sharing with you. Then... I headed out to the liguor store to get gas and some bottles of something that might taste good.

The road meanders a bit back here in this little pocket of isolation in a sea of hyperrealestateagents- lookingtomaketheirnameandfortuneonotheinsecurityof othersindecision. And when I got out onto the highway... squealing my off-road tires... and pulled into the liquor store to the gas pumps...

There was a, how should I say? Redneck... yeah, that's it... redneck... pulled up to the first pump filling three gas cans by the side of his truck. He looks up at me in my truck, which I can in no way reach the fill with the middle pumps hose from where I have to be... Stops in time for a moment, and continues to fill his cans.

I figure I can wait... I'm listening to Ozzie on the box. an He finishes filling his cans. Then he puts them into the bed of his truck and heads into the store to pay. What the Fuck !!!

So I toot my horn. I said toot, and I stand by it. And he gets all read in the face and says to me... "Are you in a hurry or something?"

I roll down my window, stick my head out, and say, "Excuse Me ??? But are you fucking considerate or fucking what?"

He says, "I would of moved if you didn't curse at me."

I just shook my head, backed my truck up, pulled around the car on the opposite side of the pump, backed up again, and pulled into the last pump on my side.

Went in and bought myself a half pinet of blackberry brandy and one of them newfangledee things called Twisted V, in Raspberry no less.... Yessssssssssssss !!!

My dog ate some food tonight. I mentioned the reasons why she didn't in another tome. At 10 PM, I went down to the pasture to get Raven. He was in rare form and so was I. I was so fucking mellow! You woulda been proud of me. I took my whip.

Now, before you go gettin' all pissy about whips and things, consider this. A 1,000 lb. animal who will run me over...a 120 lb, 58 y/o, stoned out, stumbling on brandy, freaky old cunt. One 4 foot rod of wood being waved around when he wants to push me out of his way doesn't seem like a bad deal to me... Huh?

He behaves! Yeah he does. Then he shows me all the places that the bugs has bit him and I give it my all with both hands. Around the top of his hooves. He'd point with his nose to behind his knee and I'd scratch there. And so on. That, my friends, is what's called true connection.

continued below..........

[~Sam~]

So where was I? Oh Yeah... thinking about Hip.

I started coming around here in July of 02. Man was I pissed at all the wimpy shit you made of the original's venom. You just didn't understand that our friends and lovers were graduating from highschool, going into basic, and getting Killed in the Jungles of Viet Nam !!! Most of the folks who were saying that they were Hippies, were under 50. I don't know, call me on this if you will....

The Press coined the label Hippy. We didn't like it. We burned and buried the effigy of the Hippy.

but I've mellowed about that through time, and I figure... no skin off'a my nose.

Don't you guys, who are concerned about what people think, and what you should wear, and who you should hang with, realize... It Doesn't Mean A Godamned Thing.

Hip, is inside Man. It's who you are. It's the unique gifts that each of you bring to the world that matters most here.

Forget about what's after death... forget about the man down the street... forget about getting all worked up over political issues. You truly can't be of any use to anyone, including yourself, in that state of mind. You're just eating yourselves up from the inside.

You want to know how to spread Peace? You have to find it for yourself first. You have to be able to feel it deep down inside...

When the rough times take the larger percentage of the time scale you live in... You will know that there is peace inside that you can drop back into.

If you are courageous enough to take on the task of finding inner peace... and it's a tough task, I guarentee... That's step one.

Maintaining that peace on a sort of regular basis is step two...

You know how you get all wound up when two other people are having a bout? It's contageous it is.. that adreniline rush. And pretty soon... you look around and everyone's getting pumped.

Then there's the downer. Domestic Terrorism charges paranoia. So you have to watch what you say... no matter what. Fuck that shit.

I was ready to ram that guy's truck right up its bumper this afternoon. I thought about it long and hard... yeah I did. My foot was tappin' on that gas petal, and I knew I had 295 horse under my hood... I could'a done some serious damage....

But I didn't. I guess you can say that I'm well trained after 28 years of living with Ken. And I keep myself out in the woods... down on the farm.

Every Warrior needs a shamanic guide, or so they say. I didn't think that I had one, until a fellow weird person showed me that ken was my council. Far-fucking-out! All these years... Who Knew?

Yeah, I'm sort of well trained... I had a tarot card reading today that said I should go about making a little cause for disapproval... No lie.

So here I sit writing to you... telling you that if you can hold a little peace in your heart... it might be catchy. It might spread. And so what if no one else around you can get their heads out of their asses long enough to seek a map to that inner joy? I don't... they're not my problem.

I'm concerned about the inside of me first. If what I have looks like fun to some one else... they might just open themselves up to the vibrations of the universe and go seeking their own fun too. That would be a good thing, no?

If not... You know, there are so many people. So many individuals living on this world. So many agendas. Yep, we all have our own agendas here in life. And another part of finding that calm inside yourself is to learn to accept different ways. I could go on from here... but I give you Iraq as a current example of stupidity.

Different people Man. And there's more of them everyday! All kinds of people with all kinds of beliefs and behaviors. So instead of getting all pissy about differences... learn to see the reasons and the history behind what you think you see, or what they tell you to see.

It'll amaze you that we really are all the same.

Just like in the movies... Only different.


You Have A Good Night.
Sam

[Southernman]

Wow Sam,

thanks for this profound thoughts out of your little pocket of isolation in a sea of hyperrealestateagentslookingtomaketheirnameandfort uneonotheinsecurityof othersindecision. This is the advantage of different time zones. You wrote this nearly 3hrs ago at midnight, I'm just standing up in the morning, sitting here by a cup of tea and doing something, I didn't since years, rolled me one and trying to get a row in the lot of thoughts running through my brain by reading your 'rambling'. I think, finding inner peace is nearly impossible as long, as you are young. Parents, school, social pressure from so called friends, it's not you, who plans your life, it's completly planned by others. It's easier for those to break out, who have tolerant and/or rich parents but not so easy for so called 'ghettho kids'. One phenomenon of the Hippy-movement here at Germany was, that it were mostly the higher educated kids, who became hippies and against all what they say, here it's a matter of money, to give your child the best possible education. The idea behind 'Love, Peace and Happiness' as a catchphrase and the fact, that even after all this stones of years still people get attractet of it, is in my personal opinion a sign, that it could be a working concept and that there is something like a little seed inside of them 'on the way to freedom, on the way to love'. And therefore, like Piercig would say, 'Zen or the art, answering the same questions again and again'.
It's good for your charma, I'm shure. This is my 'pocket':

http://www.sigsoftware.com/info/images/chiangmaimonastery.jpeg
the Wat Umong forest monastery

Some years ago I visited Chiang Mai in northern Thailand and one day 2 Thai-friends and me visited a buddhist cloister outside of the city. There was a parking lot on the foot of a woody hill and my friends bought there 2 loaves of white bread, each over 2 feet long. I said, fine, picnic time and my friends smiled. We walked on a path along the hill, every tree had a wooden platelet with buddhistic chantra and the cloister was built by several wooden buildings on the edge of a large asian style pond, with a little island and a bridge over the water. We entered the island an my friends gave me some of the bread and said, I should throw it into the water, this would be good for my charma. The water was not so clear and suddenly appeared some verry great water turtles and even great fishes out from the nowhere and took the bread. The biggest ones were up to 3 feet and I think, verry, verry old animals. At this time I still thought, a good charma is something, what brings benefits at the next turn of the wheel of life but in the meantime I found out, that it's my personal 'inner peace' gift. At the worst situations I can recall before my inner eyes the view on the wooden hill with all this chantra-plateleds on the trees, down to the pond and I feel again the peacefull mood, I felt, when I was there, listening to the music and chants of the monks from the temple.

http://members.fcc.net/pford/images/WatUMong093_350.jpg
om mane padme hum

Juergen

[teepi]

Yeah Sam.....Brandy...good

Thank you for this piece of read.
I needed some grounding this morning....my birthday... and alas, I am here and my sweetheart is there, although I always feel his spirit here.

Your run in yesterday is but one of the reasons we are out here as I am sure you understand in more ways than one.

Too many people with no consideration can make the very same feelings and thoughts we are trying to mellow from, boil up....

At one point I pondered heavily on this..."does isolation mean I am not growing together with my fellow man?"

And then I answered myself.."Fuck no"....

Isolation brings me more to myself,and by comunning with nature and those that I choose to interact with can only help my spiritualism....this is where I need to be right now.
You know a bit about my past and I can tell you there was a hell of alot of interaction going on...enough to fill a lifetime soo....hopefully I have done my time in that vein.
I have a little boy down the street with a reading struggle and I am helping him, I am on call to help my local police dept. with the deaf (and planning to get certified), these things are what I can do right now on a public level.

When I was 13 and at the park I caught that spark, Larry talked to me about my soul, and about Karma and about"be here now".....like you and Ken ,Larry has been my "advisor", it seems he was sent into my life and I his to balance each other, and ground each other.
I always feel so "electric" when he talks with me about these things...to this day...its like my soul knows, that this is what I need to talk about and hear.

The greed thing REALLY gets to us also and as I mentioned before the Lemming mentality is so freaky, I just can't bring myself to watch.
We want no part of it and thus our solitude here is an oasis.

But,suck, when we moved on this road there were 3 houses and now there are 11, so we pray on it and maybe we will make it to Spirit Lake Idaho, maybe not.....

When I read alot of these youngsters posts I am disheartened by the same piss poor questions about, what to wear, what drug to do.......
And asking us for what they deem as "hip".
I don't mind when they seem to be genuine and I can tell they have that little spark in them, but I hate trendiness...

So I do say to them....
"Want to change the world?....,
start with yourself"

I'm happy you have your animal friends there, I know they can be such a comfort and relating on that level is so rewarding.
You are truely blessed, and I can see how much you appreciate that.

Thank you for your insights,{{{{SAM}}}}
teepi

P.S. Southernman..thank you for sharing your beautiful pictures. And your wonderful thoughts.

[Sus]

Sometimes I get into that angry "the world is full of shit" syndrome, and it makes me feel more disconnected than not...I want to get angry, get involved in the political scene, and blow up with outrage. And, in my quest to get more involved, more connected, I feel like I'm completely outside myself, totally unable to help myself or anyone else. Only when I get inside, get calm, get clear do I feel at peace. And, I once again realize, just like you said, Sam, it starts from within, and works its way out...that is the only way it can be.


I'm so glad you are back, Sam...I am enjoying your forum, and your words...you are an inspiration!

[grendel 44]

Peace as a virus! I like that Sam. Wouldn't it be great if there was a pandemic of this virus. Never happen, not in my lifetime, one can but hope though.

I am in pain today and it makes me cranky, so I am going to keep my trap shut about the "hippie" vs Hip thing. Like hell I am!

Teepi, I love to read your posts, you have a lot of insight, just thought I would let you know.

As for the young uns, you are what you are, that's about it. You don't need to want to change the world to be "hip", you don't need to prove anything to anyone. I hate using the word hip, hippie or cool, they don't mean a thing. There is a certain attitude that some people have that makes them what others percieve to be hip (for want of a better word), it is either there or not. If anyone can define it, I would love to hear the definition. I am just an old lady who has had an interesting life and if my actions or words make others think I am weird or excentric, I don't care. All I can say is "fuck em if they can't take a joke".

See, I am rambling and am not even stoned. You "hip" people know who you are and I love to see what you have to say on these forums.

Oh Shit! I was just trying to delete a bit of dust that was on my screen, thought it was a comma. Time to go I think.

[~Sam~]

I'm glad that I'm back too, Sus. I'm glad that there are people like you to share that feeling of peace with. Very Glad....

Love,
Sam

[~Sam~]

Damned if I don't have that same comma!

Hey Grendel... got a new puppy. Feel like someone pulled my plug. I may be on re-charge, but I can't feel it yet. Someone tell me... is my red light blinking?

This was one, heavy-duty weekend. I'm doing a lot of Chillin' today. I deserve it, and I'm wallowing in doing absolutely Nothing.

Catch up with me on your post here, Kay?

Sam