family alone

[emeraldmoon]

I didn't really want to do this here but I need to.I have been batteling feeling alone my whole life.I'm twentyfour and married with two kids.We live in my home town where I once escaped and has now become my prison.Me and my husband were once travlers ,rainbow warriors.We were just friends I became pregnant by someone elese and he went home I stayed outside my entire pregnancy.When I finaly came back to my home town alone with my newborn son I was less than welcome.My exquistly bueautiful friend came to my aid.If it weren't for chris I don't know what I would have done. Now two years ,another baby and a wedding latter.We have no friends never have we try to hangout with peopel sometimes but it dosent workout theres no more cool when it's all bill's and diaper changing. We live upstairs in suburbia so theres no going outside for me and the kids.Chris rides a bike and then a bus thirty miles one way every week day to school and work he's gone twelve hours aday. The good news we have a school bus and are planning to move to oregon as soon as he's finished with school in may.I't consumes our life imagining being away from here and having good peopel around us it's all we comfort each other with.It's hard for me not to get deppressed which I have a problem with.I've had a beautiful life and I think somethings wrong with me because I'm not happy.I wonder if I'm even worthy of having friends. At least I know myself and that I have a family the rainbow anyway.I feel sorry for wemen who don't what do they do stay home and go crazy. Babalon is lonley

[HoneySuckleBlue]

May is'nt too far away, I'd start packing now and getting ready for the move. :) sell what you don't need and stash money for the drive out.
Feeling sorry for people does'nt really help, but knowing what you need to do and doing it does and leaves little time for feeling depressed.

I hope you find some strong connections here in the forums, this place really does fill a need.

Do you know where you are going once you get to Oregon?

[cutelildeadbear]

Yeah, we were supposed to pack up and move away to NC this year. It didn't happen though cause Jer got an amazing job offer here. I don't care for too many people here myself. I kept dreaming of how it would be there. Then I realized I just need to make the best of where I am now. And it really might not be all that great now that I think about it. I think I loved the idea of getting away and starting over.

Have you started to look up there for homes? That is always fun to do. And meeting people who live there now through the internet. Talking to them might help, then when you get there you will already have friends. And packing up now is a good idea.

Just try to keep your mind off of the negative of being stuck where you are and keep thinking and planning for the future and where you will one day soon be. :)