Keeping Your Dream... Unfinished.

[~Sam~]

I've been very fortunate in my life to have seen many of my dreams come true. I still have many on the back burner, so to speak, but I have realized many of the more important ones.

You know the kind; the dreams that you keep alive and say to yourself, "Someday, I'll do this. And won't it be Grand!"

So you work hard, and live day-to-day, and then one day you get closer to making that ONE dream come true. You get all squirrelly in your gut, your heart pounds faster, and you start to sweat.

Then you go through the; Oh My God... two more weeks and I'll have my Dream! One more week... two more days! And It all seems to become a blur while you wait for the fruits of your labors to materialize into your Dream Come True.

And it does. You realize your dream. There you sit, the proud accomplisher of Your Dream... And then what?

You've made whatever you've been dreaming about for years and years come true. And you sit there in kind of a State of... how should I say? Anticlimactic Depression. Why? Hell, I don't know, but it's happened to me time and time again. But this dream that I've been dreaming is now a reality. And you know what?

Now I have to deal with all the responsibilities that this dream demands of me to stay alive. And somehow it dawns on you that it was more fun dreaming about having the dream, than it is having it come true and be there, staring you in the face.

So, you incoporate this dream-come-true into your day-to-day, and you carry on with the added work that you and you alone have called down upon yourself. And you become used to it, and maybe just a little bored with having the same old dream hanging around. Then What?

You find yourself another dream to dream. Another Dream to tempt yourself with. Something you can delight in telling yourself; "When I do this, or get that, or accomplish such-and-such, I will truly be happy and at peace and I'll be satisfied for the rest of my days. Right. It becomes a circle, and sometimes starts the not so nice habit of conspicuous consumption.

Another hidden aspect of realizing your dream is depression. A sort of let down feeling, because all of the things that you had visualized in your head while you were dreaming, are not the same thing when you have your dream right there at hand.

You also have your significant others or your friends to contend with. Maybe your realizing your dream is upsetting to them. Maybe the way you're acting now is not as nice as you acted before your dream came true. Maybe you're full of yourself and you forget to love the folks that really did help make that dream possible. Maybe you get bitchy and high minded.

Or, perhaps, those around you who love you, have to change the way they see you. It's possible, No? Mayhaps the dream has caused a change in the daily routine, or in the general way that you have lived your life up until this time. And you Really do have to give everything and everyone else around you Time.

Time to find, like water, its own level again. Changes are like this. They truly do cause Change. Everything changes, right down to the way that you look at yourself in your mirror. If you can catch yourself before you run off and make more drastic changes with these folks, you're lucky. Most aren't, and go about to complicate their lives in the most unruly ways. So you have to step back, take a deep breath, and give things time to settle in... Especially Yourself.

As I said before, I've realized a good many of my dreams. I'm dealing with aftermath of the most recent dream-come-true. I'm finding that at times I have mixed feelings, at other times I'm connected to that dream. But, before I go dreaming Large again, I'll look at the one who's standing out there in the pasture, and maybe I'll remember...

That sometimes it is more fun to dream those dreams than to realize them.

Tomorrow is Ken's 59th B'day. Happy Birthday Sweetie! Both of us are approaching 60 !!! ... Ya know, sometimes ya gotta say; "Are we out of our fucking minds?" We've called a lot of work down on ourselves here on the farm. Most of the time it's a joy, but sometimes, like when you're quitting drinking coffee, and you just can't seem to catch up on your rest, and it's hot out there, and the flies are so bothersome....

Well, you know how that violin plays... I think that I'll go into Microsoft Works and make him a birthday card.

Tomorrow's another day...

Love,
Sam

[teepi]

Seems we all do get off on the "STRIVING", gives our minds and souls something to wrap around and hold dear and precious, constantly improving on it and the fantasies of "what will be" are so mesmerizing.

Then as it comes true it gets encased by that"reality" factor and brings us back down to earth a few notches.

When my lifelong dream came true, I found my self at a cross road, my "dream" no longer just affected me, the reality of it started affecting those around me and I found myself feeling guilt, and there was no place I had made in my dream for that emotion.

However ,as the dream was, what I knew could only be viewed as being born in true love I knew in time things, as Sam said ,would balance out.

And they have, by coming here and having to let my X have physical custody of my son for his last few teenage years, my dream took on so many other aspects in other peoples lives, it started a ball rolling that led to other discoveries that were just as beautiful as the original thought.

My X had purpose in his life again, and shared so much with his son, that may not have ever come about, my son learned from his dad the things a son needs to learn from his dad, his dad started living again,after a horrible accident and dpression that set in, and now is getting married.

My son learned a trade that no one can ever take from him, and is now turning 21 this month and has a great attitude and is doing great on his own.

I have the man of that dream in my life again after praying and dreaming of him for all those years, that he would come back into my life, we are living our dream now....

And now we have new dreams, some are coming true, some are for the future....

Dare to dream.
teepi

[grendel 44]

Sam, you are right. When you set goals for yourself and reach the dream it is a bit anticlimatic. You need to step back and look at what you acomplished and be proud that you followed through and did it. There are so many who give up half way.

I have realized a few dreams, but have also given up on a lot. I don't think I ever had really BIG dreams. I am one of those who need to take pleasure from the small things (hey, I actually have some tomatoes growing!) I think most of my life has been surviving and making it through which, when I look back, I did a pretty decent job of. I managed to raise my kids to adulthood without any help and they came out pretty well. Now I have three grandkids. i do not think I made much of a mark on the world, but I can make a difference in their lives with unconditional love.

AAARRRGH, what a sappy old lady I have become.

Tell Ken HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Celebrate life with him.

[~Sam~]

Aw Grendel, his B'day was in the middle of June... an I yelled at him for having a Hang Dog Face because he's pushing 60. Told him that I was a year behind him and I didn't feel that old.

Anyways... I read your reply this AM but couldn't pull myself out of things I felt I had to get done. So! I got 'em done and came back to say Hey to ya.

Tomatoes! Great !!! do you put a tablet of Tums in the dirt at their roots? We have a lack of Calcium in the soil around here, and if I don't put some extra Ca around the plants the leaves burn and the fruit splits. I was wondering if you the same thing happen to yours.

You know what? You done good, woman. You ahould be able to breathe deeply and sigh with pleasure when you look at those grand kids. (I bet that you do)

Who cares about making your mark on the world... I don't. The most important thing in life is to enjoy the passage of time.

You Take Cae,
Sam