losing lesbian virginity

[Defence_mechanism]

alright, stupid question:

what do lesbians consider losing their virginity? technically.

if things happen but it doesn't quite 'get there' do you consider it sex?

[lalalamort]

no idea........where in aus u from?

[Defence_mechanism]

haha you guys are a great lot of help!

im from sydney, you?

[Patch]

um...that's a toughie...because normally penetration is the virgin breaker...but i guess we can have sex sans poking...so i guess you lose it if you just have sex...i don't think you have to get off...because that doesn't always happen in boy girl sex either...hmmm.

[Defence_mechanism]

hmm. ta patch.

so did no one reply because it's a stupid question or because no one knows?

[soccergirl]

It is not a stupid question at all. To me losing your lesbian virginity is when your partner penetrates your "holy of holies". At least that is how I feel I lost my lesbian virginity.

[wiggy]

so does that mean im still a virgin if i havent shagged a woman!! yay that would be soooo mucheasier - a bit more boring though

[Green]

You lose your virginity when you start having sex and/or become sexualy active.

[Taylor]

whatever counts as sex to you is sex... so whenever it is that you feel you've had sex, then you are no longer a virgin...
like... if she makes you cum but doesn't actually put her fingers inside of you, I'd say thats sex cos I count just about any kind of orgasm as sex, specially with girls.... I dunno... define it yourself.

[Defence_mechanism]

i just thought it needed a bit of discussion seeing as though the whole business is very ambiguous especially for lesbians. and i don't want to be left out of the loop in what the general consensus is... which it seems a common consensus isn't very prevailent. so it's all good. all this talk of sex is making me.... :P

[jim_w]

Does it matter?

[Ocean Byrd]

Well, in my mind, I won't be able to lose my virginity. That is, unless, I have surgery... Otherwise, since I'm physically a male, I won't be able to lose my "woman" virginity. It may sound really confusing, but it makes sense to me.

[callinghome]

I used to consider it oral, cause it's like the "highest ranked" lesbian sexual experience. But I dunno, some girls aren't into that (?!?!?! i always say) but still have "Sex". I'd say sex is when it feels like sex- it's not just messing around groping-like. Like intense, body to body sexual pleasure. ^.^

[Defence_mechanism]

Does it matter?
well yeah i like to think it does. it's something that i've been asked before by straight friends and i couldn't honestly say that one particular thing is losing your virginity. it's interesting to know that other lesbians feel the same way.

yeah i used to consider oral as losing your virginity also. and i guess i still sorta do. mostly coz after i did i felt i had. so... hmm. yeah.

[iwannabeahippy]

I hate the idea that loosing your virginity can only be through penetration and any other type e.g. oral is not loosing your virginity. I was thinking bout this the other day...although a lot of people say that "technically" you have to have penetration to loose your virginity, i class any sexual act as sex. Everyone has their own view and there are many different types of sex to loose your virginity 2 :D

[erzebet1961]

As far as lesbian sex goes....I consider it taking a girls virginity when i expose her to oral sex...because thats really the complete sexual act two females can perform without means of artificial help.
That just my opinion.

[lutsko67]

1st of all there are no such things as stupid questions....
Just stupid ppl who dont ask!!
(no insult to any1, just my opinion here on that)
Now, 4 me in my opinion, losing your virginity as a lez woman,is this:
you both are completely satisfied in your bdrm or car or where ever you do it the very 1st time, thats lez de-virginizing!! you orgasm ans she does or both.

[tyrak]

hmm i dunno, discussed this with people, no one has ever been able to come up with a real answer

[NurseHendrixFlyHigh]

I knew I was gay when I was 12 and I kissed a girl (it was supposed to be an experiment..who knew it turn me gay, lol), but I considered going down on my first girlfriend and vice versa as popping my lezzie cherry

[Cat_80]

I hate the idea that loosing your virginity can only be through penetration and any other type e.g. oral is not loosing your virginity. I was thinking bout this the other day...although a lot of people say that "technically" you have to have penetration to loose your virginity, i class any sexual act as sex. Everyone has their own view and there are many different types of sex to loose your virginity 2 :D
I agree with you! :)

[sarh22]

My first sex was with a woman.She used a strap on and i considered that as losing my virginity.hope that helps you.

[*unlearn.to.be.free*]

well i'm not completely sure.
i haven't lost my lesbian virginity yet, but one thing i DO know is that penetration doesn't really appeal to me. penetration as the only form of "real" sex is still a construct of an outdated patriarchal mysogynist society. if penetration is what does it for you, as an individual, then that's when you lose it. if you get off with your lover going down on you orally, then that's when you lose it. i agree with lutsko, it's when you're both together being intimate and satisfied and feeling good and having fun, no matter what that entails. when you're in a zone that you're focussed entirely on the other person(s) and you're so in the moment that nothing else in the world matters. i think that's a pretty intense experience and would be pretty de-virgin.

[Bocks]

I haven't lost my les virginity yet either, woo! :D

The impression that I get is that it's different from person to person. A chick-to-chick free-for-all!

I'm a wee bit hyper tonight...I know this is completely off-topic, but this thread seems an apt place to say this: I came out to my whole family this week, and I was scared out of my mind, but after 6 years of not saying anything, it actually went alright! And I think today's the first day that it's occurred to me that I don't ever have to go through it again!!! :D :D :D!

[*unlearn.to.be.free*]

I haven't lost my les virginity yet either, woo! :D

The impression that I get is that it's different from person to person. A chick-to-chick free-for-all!

I'm a wee bit hyper tonight...I know this is completely off-topic, but this thread seems an apt place to say this: I came out to my whole family this week, and I was scared out of my mind, but after 6 years of not saying anything, it actually went alright! And I think today's the first day that it's occurred to me that I don't ever have to go through it again!!! :D :D :D!
Hurray! Congrats! *does a celebration dance in your honour*
That's a huge milestone (well, I suppose it is for most people ...) and indeed, it's behind you so yay! I actually look forward to the day that my whole family finds out, but I don't really see myself sitting them all down. It will be more like, hi everyone this is my sexy amazing woman love (and dare i say ..soulmate! cheese!) and i would like you all to meet her! Either way I imagine you must feel pretty damn empowerd right now, so I think that's great!

[Bocks]

Thank you!

I used to envision myself telling them that way as well, and I actually decided to because I had a girlfriend. Then we broke up, and it became about me and not my girlfriend, so I went ahead with it.

The other day I was watching some stupid sitcom, and in it this guy in his 30s comes out to a friend. She's the first person he's ever come out to, and he trusts her to not tell anyone. So the first thing she does is tell his brother...Of course, by the end of the episode, everyone's friends again. I was so pissed off by this! It was so obviously written by a heterosexual. You can't brush something like that off so easily, and who the hell did this female character think she was? Since when is it OK to just out people, when they barely know who they are themselves? It took me six years to come out to my family, and it took nearly 5 of those years for me to figure out who I was. If I'd just come out as a lesbian to myself and a close confidante, and said confidante had immediately told a family member, it would have destroyed me.

And yet, on this programme, it was perfectly acceptable to make comedy of this intimate predicament. Pardon my Anglo-Saxon, but WHAT THE FUCK?!

I've finished my rant. I'm not usually so feverish about things like this; this show just pissed me off, haha.

[riot]

In my opinion, it would be oral. Oral sex is so sensual and personal. Then again, some consider penetration losing yr virginity also. I guess it all depends on you and yr partner. :]

[floyden]

Well, most people say that when a man's penis enters a woman, the hymen breaks, blah blah blah, said woman has lost her virginity. But your hymen can break in different ways, not just by intercourse. So to me, I don't believe that. Besides, how do men lose their virginity? So it all boils down to this: you lose your virginity when you have sex. Plain and simple.

[MysteriousNight]

Well, most people say that when a man's penis enters a woman, the hymen breaks, blah blah blah, said woman has lost her virginity. But your hymen can break in different ways, not just by intercourse. So to me, I don't believe that. Besides, how do men lose their virginity? So it all boils down to this: you lose your virginity when you have sex. Plain and simple.I agree with that. When two people are being intimate with each other in that way then you've lost your virginity.

[MyChem11]

to me...hm....i just considered that when we had sex with a strap-on, that was losing my virginity. i dont consider fingering, or oral sex to be actual sex. to me, those are the steps beforehand. although, people have different views on what losing your vriginity really means with lesbian sex and boy/girl sex. so, to me,....i guess its when you are penetrated by some sort of dick, fake or not. lol.
dont know if this helps tho.

[jia]

I lost my virginity to a woman, and I considered I had lost it when she made me climax -- my first one that I did not cause myself. Don't get caught up in the male-centric idea that sex is being penetrated by a phallus. I've made love with quite a few ladies without the benefit of one and I have no doubt at all that what we did was sex.