Gone to Nothing, Everything in Windy Sky

[Burn]

I break through the trees,
Into the high of the evening skies,
Twilight gaining on my back,
Nowhere to run but up and in,
Time is nowhere, and I'm drawing thin,
And she is sleeping,
somewhere within.
Whirling in the sea of fallacies,
Lies of freedom ring through, ring through,
If this were all a fantasy,
I'd take you, take you,
Into the arms of daylight,
Truth touching skin as branches fold by,
The rythmn is near, the rythmn is here,
into the daylight, we will run,
Into the daylight, we have begun.

[Lozi]

cute poem. nice use of repetition, that works, emphasises stuff. good job burn! sorry my critiquing isn't so good today, the hot weather has fried my brain.:p

[sylvanlightning]

Whirling in the sea of fallacies,
Lies of freedom ring through, ring through,
If this were all a fantasy,
I'd take you, take you,
Into the arms of daylight,
Truth touching skin as branches fold by,
The rythmn is near, the rythmn is here,


Bright and clear, this was for me.

[TrippinBTM]

this is a really good poem, good rhythm and repetition, and I like how parts of it rhyme.

[osiris]

And through to the dark of night we will again be spun.

Expanding starlight will remind us:
that each beam is a star of its own,
and every particle is someone's home.