Toy Doll

[Silent_concubine]

breathing
is a foreign task
when thinking
is just too much to ask
you can place me up there
on the shelf behind
and place her
unclothed
in your mind
she can be your toy
and you will be the boy
and you can play for hours
while I’m the color of rust
up collecting dust
withering like drying flowers

[Fierce_Flawless]

the first four lines are lines from dashboard confessional's "the brilliant dance". i dunno if you meant to do that or not. ::shrug::

[Moonjava]

You make a good point. Nicely done. :)

Peace,
Moonjava

[Silent_concubine]

the first four lines are lines from dashboard confessional's "the brilliant dance". i dunno if you meant to do that or not. ::shrug::
yes, I meant to... I was at my desk... drawing... and I wrote down this first line (I was listening to it at the time)... then I wandered and added something of my own, and i kinda liked it. Sue me?

[Fierce_Flawless]

nah i get about half my poems that way. i was just listening to that exact song when i clicked on your poem and i thought it was pretty spiffy. :)

[EdgeUcatE]

she can be your toy
and you will be the boy
and you can play for hours
while I’m the color of rust
up collecting dust
withering like drying flowersI liked the descriptions, well played, I thought the beginning was a nice touch even though it is someone else's work but I'm glad u wrote the rest, keep it up, peace

oh one more thing, how did ur name come about?

[Silent_concubine]

oh one more thing, how did ur name come about?
Honestly... just out of creativity.

[moonbeam]

the only thing i dont like though a major ingredient in good poetry..........rhythm. It just doesnt flow very well. i dont know.