Boogabaah

tis rainin' i'm gonna wait a little to go over to see the kids.. until the rain lets up some.

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Boogabaah

okay okay... i don't wear shoes.. big freaking deal but how i was dressed must have made me look homeless.

a lady stopped me in the store and offered to buy my groceries.. she thought i was homeless. i just told her it was a sensory thing and i just didn't wear shoes because of it.

i don't know how i feel about this..

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Boogabaah

still having horrible.. crippling anxiety over it..

been trying to call this place for over a week now.. called.. it just rang and rang.. called again.. and it told me they were out to lunch..

gonna try again in a few.. and if nothing happens.. i give up until tomorrow..

stupid anxiety.. I WIL WIN!!! DAMN IT!!!

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Boogabaah

cold for here... it's in the 40F's thats cold for me.. yes i'm a fucking wuss. a storm is on the way.. that means snow for the rest of you soon!

you are welcome!

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Boogabaah

seriously.. if you don't like tofu... then eat something else.

it smells wonderful in here! i'm cooking it in the crock pot.. super simple style this time.

one tofurky, 3 carrots all cut into coins... 3 potatoes cut into triangles and 2 boxes of veggie broth...

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Boogabaah

after all my 'have to pay bills' i've got 40 bucks a month to live on... fucking great.

i'm gonna rob a bank.

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Boogabaah

he gave me a kombucha mother.. then i zoned out while he talked it up with the life hostage.

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Boogabaah

should is stop? don't answer that... i'm not gonna..

i REALLY should be writing all the personal stuff in my paper journal.. but i just don't it stays in my brain.

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Boogabaah

i do laundry tuesday.. every tuesday. i told my roommie this when i moved in. so should i feel bad when i go to do laundry and her stuff is in there? i put her stuff into the dryer.. but set the fancy bra on the rack to dry.. i'm sure she only wears thongs.. cus theres always these tiny bundles that i'm sure are thongs.. and i've seen a few. i try not to touch anything i shouldn't be.. but it's in my way. if i don't do laundry tuesday i'm all out of wack for the week.

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Boogabaah

somedays i just wish i would die already. i'm so sick of being in pain .. non-stop.

what am i supposed to be learning from this? physical pain.. emotional pain... there has got to be a reason for all this.

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Boogabaah

i try my hardest to be good.. do good.. but i still feel like i'm consistently being fucked over by things out of my control.

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Boogabaah

i have three pairs of pants..

pair one is horribly stained.. bleach spots and all.. great for getting dirty in.

pair two has all sorts of pockets.. it's missing the button for one of the pockets on the butt, so the flap always sticks up funny

pair three are "mom" jeans .. sorta.. i only wear them to court right now. trying to keep them clean and nice.

i do have a pair i can barely squeeze into with some serious muffin top action going on.. i never wear them. so they don't count.

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Boogabaah

comes up when i google myself..

http://www.hipgallery.com/photopost2...ser/11491/sl/b

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Boogabaah

i fear going to jail because i can't seem to complete my community service hours. guess i could call my PO.. but i fear getting in trouble for something else.. the anxiety and migraines don't help at all. don't worry.. i'm not going to.. but sometimes i think just dying would be better. i realize i'm here for a reason, so killing myself would fuck that up.. but some nights i think i'm going to die because of the migraines. this pain is just ridiculous, i'd rather be in labor with no pain...

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Boogabaah

i went to the bank to get a statement printout. the teller told me to sit in the waiting section and the manager lady would help me. well.. she skipped me twice.. another couple even pointed over to me and said i was next.. the lady just gestured that i was waiting for someone... who? i had been sitting there for an hour! came in alone.. sat there alone... what the fuck? i was so upset already that i just left.
gonna go get an ATM printout tomorrow.. if it's not good enough.. i don't even...

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Boogabaah

33 x 12 = 396... i know that i have more than one migraine a month a lot of times..

i'm on day 4 of this one.. .. i know why people shoot themselves.

i don't want to go to a doctor. they will only give me pills.. and no relief. i give up. i don't even wanna take OTC stuff because all it does is make my body feel sick and jittery.

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Boogabaah

it um drives me nuts when uh someone i'm uh talking to or uh listen to uh on tv, keeps um saying these two uh words. i can't uh help it but um count the number of um times they uh say these uh two interjections...

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Boogabaah

i have such a hard time with paperwork and making phone calls... i need someone else to do these stuff for me. it would just make my life that much more less stressful..

three phone calls..

talked to one person and she said the paperwork i sent wasn't good enough.. and where the hell am i gonna find a photocopier? i don't have the money not to "fix" this..

left a second message for a person to call me back.. fourth time i have called. i'm beginning to think the answer is no...

left a...

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Boogabaah

thats what i'm gonna be for halloween.. i can dress normal and wear a cape..

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Boogabaah

i have no idea what i'm doing.. but it seems to be working.. guess i could take pics..

maybe when i'm done.

it need something, a star or something..

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