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Old 05-18-2012, 10:55 PM   Caring Hurts..
Location: Knoxville, TN
Posts: 267
Replies: 3
Views: 2,052
Caring Hurts..

Sometimes you have to pay a price when you love someone.

I'm writing about this here, because I need somewhere to vent about it.

My sister is 17 years old. I love her more than anything else in the world, except her son who was born going on a month ago. April 28, 2012 to be exact.
While my love for them both is unconditional, my sister has always had her own set of problems. Her dad (we're half siblings) is never really around. She and my mom do not get along and they're constantly fighting. I, however, try to stay constantly involved. We didn't see each other for 8 years and I am not going to separate myself from my sister again. She means too much to me. However, she makes things so damned difficult on herself it's fucking stupid. Before she got pregnant, she was always going from guy to guy seeking that ideal loving male that will be there for her forever and ever.

However, when she got pregnant last summer, she tried her damnest to stay with the dad. They've had their own set of issues along the way. They've fought, broken up, gotten back together, etc etc. He and I have duked it out a time or two for just being a piece of shit towards her. But the day their son was born, I tried to set everything aside. Seeing as he was there, he was calm and attentive and he has been since then.

Last week the two finally got back together and everything seemed to be better.

However, last night while browsing on a specific networking site, I ran across his page. 4 hours before that he had updated his status to : "Any ladies wanna have some fun tonight?"

I couldn't just not tell my sister. So I took a screen shot and sent it to her via facebook.

When she saw it, she went through her usual emotions: denial, anger at me, disbelief, then she confronted him. He claims that he doesn't even know the password anymore and that he would never do that. But when I went back and refreshed his page, it was then set to private. Yet, she still believes him.

I know I shouldn't care, but it's my sister. And I do. I can't help but care. Not just because this guy is doing this, but he has a temper. A major temper problem. When he gets too angry, he says he blacks out and doesn't know what he does. Whether I believe him or not, doesn't really matter, what matters is that he can and will hurt people when he gets angry enough.

I've tried to warn my sister. I've even tried to sit down and talk to him one on one about things. That he should probably go back to counselling or get back on medication. Something. But none of that has seemed to matter.

My bf, however, is a lot less tolerant of her or him. When I told him about all of this, he got really worked up about it and how dumb she's being. Then he got upset with me for caring. At this point I don't even want to talk about it...I don't know what to do and all I can do anymore is just sit here and cry. Something terrible is going to happen and it's going to hurt my sister AND her son and there's nothing I can do about it.

And all people keep doing is getting pissed at me for caring. I can feel myself close off to all of this...I don't even want to talk about it anymore. It hurts far too much.


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05-19-2012, 03:41 AM Old
Quiet Storm Quiet Storm is offline
Location: Paisley Park
Posts: 930
Unfortunately, she will have to learn the hard way - since she refuses to see the truth about him.
There's nothing you can do but be there for her, talk to her and know -- she's going to have heart ache when reality hits.

I know how you feel, several times over.
05-20-2012, 03:20 PM Old
etherea etherea is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2755
She's got to find these things out for herself. She WILL blame you for simply pointing out the obvious. Don't get involved ,simply be there to pick up the pieces.
05-22-2012, 04:40 AM Old
Jimmie Blue Jimmie Blue is offline
Location: Florida
Posts: 102
Love stinks some times, why don't you try this. Put your sisters problems aside. Then you could enjoy being an aunt and a sister-friend. Don't go for perfect, won't happen.

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