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ur a dick


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#1 AnnieChere

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Posted January 27 2005 - 01:57 PM

this is to mi dad



shut up u dickhed
wen will u lern to respect me
im just a little kid like u
so stop thinkig ur abov me

i can fly too
u go fly upstate to ur woman
i fly in my mind higher then u can evr hope too go
so get in ur car and fly
ill be waiting in teh sky

wen i come downstares i see
the food prosesser on teh counter
how many carots have died
so u can eat sallad

i am a carot to u know
but im peoplecolored insted of orenge
stuf me in ur food prosesser
chew me up
ill be ded by thirten
u dickhed
yeah!

#2 Carlfloydfan

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Posted January 27 2005 - 02:24 PM

This is to my Dad



Shut up you dickhead
When will you learn to respect me?
I'm just a little kid, like you
So stop thinking you're above me

I can fly too
You go fly upstate to your woman
I fly in my mind higher then you can ever hope too go
So get in your car and fly
I'll be waiting in the sky

When I come downstares I see
The food prosesser on the counter
How many carots have died
so you can eat salad

I am a carot too you know?
But I'm people colored instead of orange
Stuff me in your food prosesser
Chew me up
I'll be dead by thirteen
You dickhead


....Now it's a little easier to read....

#3 Jack_Straw2208

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Posted January 27 2005 - 02:26 PM

it certainly does sound like the poetry of an angst filled 11 or 12 year old girl...

go listen to some 'taking back sunday' or something, you dad hating, mashed potato eating emoxcore (with the silent x) little kid.



your poem is t3h suck.
so is your grammar.
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#4 NaykidApe

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Posted January 27 2005 - 02:26 PM

I liked it better the first way. And I liked it alot.
whining does you no good, It amuses your enemies and annoys your friends.
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#5 NaykidApe

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Posted January 27 2005 - 02:28 PM

you say you're 22, but you'll "be ded by thirten" [sic]? wha?

it certainly does sound like the poetry of an angst filled 11 or 12 year old girl...

go listen to some taking back sunday or something, you dad hating, mashed potato eating emoxcore (with the silent x) little kid.



your poem is t3h suck.



Um... I don't see an age statement anywhere. She's got 22 posts, that's the only number I see.
whining does you no good, It amuses your enemies and annoys your friends.
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#6 Jack_Straw2208

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Posted January 27 2005 - 02:29 PM

gasp, the tables have turned.


alas, now i am t3h suck.
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#7 Jack_Straw2208

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Posted January 27 2005 - 02:30 PM

i changed my post... but still, let it be know that i am t3h suck.
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#8 NaykidApe

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Posted January 27 2005 - 02:33 PM

i changed my post... but still, let it be know that i am t3h suck.



It takes a big man to admit they're t3h, whatever that means.
whining does you no good, It amuses your enemies and annoys your friends.
---Burma Shave

#9 Jack_Straw2208

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Posted January 27 2005 - 02:42 PM

3ng|15h (not quite 1337, not quite english..).. t3h=teh=the
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#10 Jack_Straw2208

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Posted January 27 2005 - 02:50 PM

man, i totally just made that up.. im fuckin smoooooth..
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#11 NaykidApe

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Posted January 27 2005 - 02:56 PM

3ng|15h (not quite 1337, not quite english..).. t3h=teh=the







I thought it was a movie with Arnold and some hot chic who could make her boobs grow at will.
whining does you no good, It amuses your enemies and annoys your friends.
---Burma Shave

#12 Jack_Straw2208

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Posted January 27 2005 - 03:10 PM

...











































t3h?
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#13 autumngrl

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Posted January 27 2005 - 03:11 PM

Most kids type that way today because they text message so much. Instead of telling her she sucks why doesn't anyone acknowledge the fact that she is writing and getting her anger out in a good way? She could be taking it out the wrong way and hurting someone,maybe even herself.Sounds to me her dad is an ass....
;) "It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom.It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err." Mohandas K. Gandhi

#14 fulmah

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Posted January 27 2005 - 03:14 PM

I assumed it was intentional, and it works, for me. Loved the subject changes, the anger. Good poem, I say!
Spring brings cherry blossoms to comfort you. The summer: stars. The harvest moon's in fall and the powdered snow's in winter. All of these things, and the promise of them, is what makes sake taste so good.

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#15 imaflake

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Posted January 27 2005 - 07:13 PM

Yeah, I liked it too even though I can't exactly explain why. It's such an angry poem but I think the way she spelled things might have softened it a bit in a good way. As for some of the other posts..... whoa man, I had a hard time following that.

#16 browneydgrl

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Posted January 27 2005 - 07:29 PM

go listen to some 'taking back sunday' or something, you dad hating, mashed potato eating emoxcore (with the silent x) little kid.


your poem is t3h suck.
so is your grammer.

you ass.


apart from that unnecessary and extremely judgemental comment, i really liked the poem. so many kids, teens and even adults have been in that "dad hating" situation, its ridiculous and insulting to force her into your narrowminded slot.

and you should NEVER knock a poem that came so truly from the heart. you dont belong here if the point of your existence in this forum is to insult people brave enough to submit their work.
that little flower taught you something beautiful

#17 KarmaComa

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Posted January 27 2005 - 08:18 PM

it certainly does sound like the poetry of an angst filled 11 or 12 year old girl...

go listen to some 'taking back sunday' or something, you dad hating, mashed potato eating emoxcore (with the silent x) little kid.



your poem is t3h suck.
so is your grammer.



Wow, it's hard to imagine someone is this damn dumb. Don't pretend like you know anything about this kids life. (I say this to ALL of you.) I felt like this when I was younger and more than likely you did too. Almost all of us go through a time when we are mad at our parents and feel like we hate them. So, shove it up your ass buddy! And.. by the way.. its grammar. You nitwit.





and you should NEVER knock a poem that came so truly from the heart. you dont belong here if the point of your existence in this forum is to insult people brave enough to submit their work.



Okay, just because it is from the heart doesn't make it good. I don't really like this, but I can't rightly say that I consider it a poem. No matter what, the person belongs here. Be it to say bad things or good. It's all opinion baby.
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#18 Jack_Straw2208

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Posted January 28 2005 - 09:36 PM

d00d... how many carrots had to die? what the fuck?

HOW MANY CARROTS HAD TO DIE FOR YOUR SALAD?!?!?!?!??


WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!??!!??!


and yeah, my parents piss me off sometimes, but i dont hate them. never have.

kids think they're being so deep and cool when they write shittty poems (atleast from what i've seen. i could be wrong), but they dont realize what superficial conformists they are being... EVERYONE is emo or goth or angry metal head now adays... they all write shitty poems... i found this packet of poems this one kid wrote at my school the other day... the stuff was like norwegian death metal, but it didnt flow AT ALL...

but yeah. its cool now adays to hate your dad (FOR MURDERING CARROTS!!! ((shes a carrot too you know)) OH NOES!!one1!1), its cool to write poems, songs, and other shit...

but shes not even 13 yet...

barely hit puberty, and she's allready an angst filled teenage emo kid.

not even 13..




she prolly hates preps too...
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#19 Jack_Straw2208

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Posted January 28 2005 - 09:44 PM

criticism dude... she'll continue to keep cranking out shit if everyone accepts her shit.

and just because a poem comes from the heart doesnt mean you cant knock it. anything can suck, even if it does "come from the heart"...

so yeah. she'll fix herself, and maybe even turn into a real goth/emo/metalhead.. or better yet, a real person...
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#20 browneydgrl

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Posted January 28 2005 - 09:50 PM

since when is there a goddamn age limit to be angry?!

jack, you sound to me like someone who has never had it rough. you know what, a lot of kids go through shit before they hit the age of thirteen so have some goddamn humility, you jerk.

and poetry is a form of expression you may not understand. so you dont get the meaning of her carrot analogy. BIG FUCKING DEAL. get over it. its not your poem. she can write whatever she feels like.
that little flower taught you something beautiful

#21 Major Peacenik

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Posted January 29 2005 - 08:25 AM

hey the poem doesn't sound angry to me. it sounds hopeless. AnnieChere, I know exactly what you mean about the carrots. It's a metaphor, you morons. I also like your flying stanza. Chere, you might try to clear up your spelling and grammar a bit -- people will respect your poems more if you respect them enough to present them well.

Keep going kiddo, you'll get better. And hey, both our names are Annie :)

#22 clockworkorangeagain

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Posted January 29 2005 - 08:31 AM

yeah i love the carrots part...i reckon its the best bit! it should be in a movie

#23 Jack_Straw2208

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Posted January 29 2005 - 09:56 PM

since when is there a goddamn age limit to be angry?!

jack, you sound to me like someone who has never had it rough. you know what, a lot of kids go through shit before they hit the age of thirteen so have some goddamn humility, you jerk.

and poetry is a form of expression you may not understand. so you dont get the meaning of her carrot analogy. BIG FUCKING DEAL. get over it. its not your poem. she can write whatever she feels like.



i can criticize shitty poems however i feel like.


oh, and its not so much an "age limit" thing.. its just that most kids that age are angst filled douches that dont realize how wrong they are... but im not saying she IS, just that she probably is.

i know thought i knew more than my parents...


but i also could have come up with a better anology/metaphore/simile than "how many carrots had to die for your salad?" too.


and im not saying she hasnt had it rough. i know kids have it rough, most of my friends are uber troubled and what not (and belive me, bigtime fucked up childhoods) and they've expressed themselves... but yeah, hardships tend to make kids mature alot faster... and i dunno, the whole carrot thing seems miiiiiighty 12 year old-ish...


dunno, its almost 1, and im tired as fuck, so peace out.
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#24 gdhmomchild

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Posted January 30 2005 - 12:00 AM

...It's good to get it off your chest if your that upset...but I didn't like the poem. I hate wading through tons of bad spelling and computer short cuts for one. Its always good to blow off steam though. Better than leaving it bottled up. What I gathered from this is your dad never has any time for you but seems to find plenty for a new woman. If thats the case, try talking to him about it and if you can't without losing your temper, write him a letter about how you are feeling. Remember, respect is earned and if it just boils down to a shouting match, nobody is going to get any respect. Try acting responsible too. Does he have to tell you stuff over and over before you do it? does he have to raise his voice for you to listen? Things will get better soon. As you get older, you will have more and more things that you want to do too.

Jack Straw, angst is angst hun, doesn't make it feel any less to the person feeling it, try a little patience, tolerance. Critism is usually taken better when its not so harsh and a lil more constructive (not that I don't agree to some extent)
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#25 kidder

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Posted February 19 2005 - 06:41 PM

It's too bad all your moms had access to sperm banks.

#26 Jack_Straw2208

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Posted February 20 2005 - 02:25 PM

lol wtf?
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#27 Jack_Straw2208

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Posted February 20 2005 - 02:29 PM

fuckin amazin! i can totally relate



yeah dood, with all those drugs you're doing, you'll be a carrot in no time!
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#28 YogaOfLove

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Posted February 21 2005 - 12:53 PM

she does say shell be dead by 13 though...so therefore she should be younger then...maybe?
"I thought about that- how the world you thought you were walking around in could turn out to be a different world entirely" perv-a love story (Jerry Stahl)

#29 ~jane_says~

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Posted February 21 2005 - 06:46 PM

Your poem is a good start...you are entitled to your feelings...writing is probably the best way to sort through your feelings. Don't listen to some of the so called critics on here, some of them obviously have their own issues to sort through...you can clean up your poem if you like but the errors in grammar and spelling definitely bring out the intensity of your poem...
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