Posted December 11 2004 - 05:10 PM
Ok, here's what happened. Tuesday night me and my friends got all drunked up, and this guy had sex w/ my friend in my bed....and i was sleeping on my couch...now this girl has a boyfriend and was completely smashed. so she is reporting him...ive spoken w/ three cops...at WORK. they questioned me for almost two hours...
and they arrested the guy at WORK...for 'contributing alcohol to a minor', just to hold him i guess till they get his story..im just shook up...i dont want to be all involved in this shit...i wish it hadn't even happened. i could've stopped it..but i didnt. i froze up. i didnt know what the fuck to do...and now there's investigators n shit...
they already changed the locks on my door (i live in employment housing at a ski resort). so i cant even get in my house when i get off work in 10 min....they're searching my room (i gave them permission) and taking all my bedding. i mean, that sucks...but whatever helps my girl out...im friends w/ the guy too. we all are...but i dont know why he did that to her...well he's in jail and i have a feeling this is gonna be a looooong ass ordeal. damn..
Posted December 12 2004 - 07:06 AM
Things like this really anger me because women have had so much crap to deal with in the past when reporting rape and just when we think things are improving and the system could actually be helping the right people, others take advantage of it because of their stupid mistakes that they feel guilty about after the fact. There is a huge different between being raped (or date raped in this case) and feeling guilty for having sex with someone.
Like I said I don't know the whole story, but it doesn't sound to me like this guy did anything wrong(as far as the law goes), and this girl just didn't want her man to find out that she slept with some guy after drinking all night long. Unless, she was not even conscious when it happened. If he had sex with her when she was passed out, then that is a different story.
Now they could pin him for the providing alcohol to minors or something, but rape, no. It's going to be his word against hers though, so I hope he can find a good lawyer. These situations are so hard to determine because you don't want people to get away with rape, but you also don't want women using it as an excuse either.
Posted December 12 2004 - 07:12 AM
If, as you claim, you are friends with the guy in question, then i would seriously question what constitutes friendship to you since you seem so willing to see him arrested and charged.
Posted December 12 2004 - 07:15 AM
Drinking age over here is 21....
How old is your friend, btw? If she is 19 like yourself, or even 18, then she is not a minor and thus the alcohol charge would be bogus from the outset.
jog along bess, hop along may,
squeak along blue its a walk along day...
Posted December 12 2004 - 07:23 AM
At any rate, it sounds as if the alcohol charge is far from the main issue in this scenario.
Posted December 12 2004 - 08:10 AM
Basically, they both don't remember much from that night, and I'm the only person that knows really what happened. I was awake in the same room. I saw them for a second, but that's it. I heard the rest.
She was semi conscious, but couldn't even walk. She was puking for a good hour. The guy was drunk too, but it didn't seem like he was bad as her...he was able to carry her to my bed. I got up to go eat, and when i came back he was on top of her. I didn't hear her say 'no'. But she did say 'did you use a condom?' he said no, then kept telling her how hot she was and how good it felt. She kept trying to put her pants back on..he kept messing around with her so she couldn't get dressed.
She told her boyfriend. I guess she feels like he took advantage of her because she was just so fucked up she couldn't say no. He didn't have her consent. I guess she's just so confused about it all, that she just had to report it. i guess it's up to nick to try and get himself out of it.
And he is my friend, and so is she. I told the police what they asked for. I gave them permission to strip my bed. I don't know if what happened was rape or just drunk sex that she's ashamed of. She feels like she was taken advantage of...I'm not taking sides cuz i know how it is to be drunk and have sex...and i'm just gonna do what i can to help. I'm pretty much the only one that has an idea of what happened. I feel bad that it has gone this far. Everyone's really pissed at him. And i agree, it's fucked up to sleep w/ a really drunk girl. But he was just as confused as she was the next day. So I'm not sure what's gonna happen...
any comments/opinions are appreciated
Posted December 12 2004 - 08:51 AM
this sounds quite nasty.the system will take control of this situaion......
what every path this takes you all on now, is one you will
have to judge when finished.
personaly i feel if your friend cant remember what happened
in the bedroom then something is wrong with all
involved, and if this is a problem
then think about trust....
i would be honest about the whole thing
and if your girl friend who is in trouble
is covering for being unfaithful,then i
hope she is a true friend....
and doesnt drag you into any silly
as for the rest i feel maybe it time to grow
up about how you and your friends
treat each other,and look after yourselves.
be more aware of what can happen
the grown up world is far more
scary than the kids or even teenage
love n peace from saff
Posted January 25 2005 - 10:25 AM