420 Chatfield Lane

Google says he was 7'8 wow that is too big. At that height you really can not fit into the world. Even the 7 foot NBA players have trouble. Poor guy.

Glad your pit is going good Jacob. Mine is still spoiled and I'm lucky to live in a city that has not banned them like a lot of areas around here. But I still get questions when people see her. No, she's not going to attack you, yes my truck's doors are locked do not worry.

 

I think the tall people like that have much stress on the organs.. they dont live very long usually..

 

GAME OVER MAN! GAME OVER!

one of the most iconic and oft repeated movie quotes from Bill and it was 100% improv.

 

Didn't Jeff run out of gas just before crossing the finish line a couple of times?

I miss having Jeff to watch and keep up with.

 

Oh Jeff bad been robbed of many wins over the last few years.

You can still hear him comemtate the big races.

 

A short weed verse I wrote. Sorry for the sound quality and the lack of a beat. lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9LXQDI5VUY

 

oscar mistake lol

 

I miss being able to access my favorite forums on the side of the screen. Has that been replaced by another easy-access feature that I haven't found yet?

 

if you click on items you participate in and it becomes darker. it will only show them..... by time period set to 6months.

if items you dont participate isnt highlighted then all new posts will show..

 

Just practicing my pool at the moment. Have the big match between me and the best tomorrow night. just trying to train simple things, specifically my break.

 

you guys. im drinking til i dont feel feelings. send me love. please. im falling apart. my dad just told us that he has a cancerous mass. he doesnt know how long he has, but he does not view surgery as an option. (loss of income, use, likelihood that it would never properly heal) so he intends to set affairs in order and ride it out.

this is the man who fell in love with my mom when i was just a babe in arms. he chose to love me too. he raised me. he taught me to cook, to KNOW cooking. a little of this, enough of that. how to build a roux, how to check a steak for doneness. he loaded my first bowl, and second, because it took 2 nights to get me stoned. not because he was enabling, but because i expressed interest, and they wanted me to be safe, and make sure i was not allergic. i have know NOTHING but Trustworthiness from this Man! he IS my google. he taught me to drive stick. he taught me to release toxic people. he taught me to do what is right.

he says cancer is like cockroaches. they get everywhere. surgery would reduce his quality of life. and isnt it better to know?
yes, Dad. its better to know.
but i am so selfish right now.

a day, a week, a month, a year to say goodbye
could never be long enough.
i am so selfish. he doesnt want to be less him. and he raised me smart, and practical. his choice is logical. and it is his. some of you know personally my feelings. the opportunity to choose the path of your death is extraordinary, and i would not take it from anyone.

but oh, i am feeling so selfish. there is nothing i can do. just keep pushing on out of spite. you guys are the only ones i can confide in. he is going to donate his organs, and his cadaver to science. we will get the ashes back when he has served the most useful purpose. they scanned his lungs as well as the problem area, since hes smoke about 2 + packs a day (for forever) plus pot, and get this... lungs are motherfucking clear. gods only know what medical advaces could be had from his corpse.

but im still not ready. he said if he ever showed signs of dementia/ alzheimers to slip him a mickey, he didnt want to go out THAT way. so i feel like he is purposefully, kindly, sparing me that promise. but damnit Dad. dont do this to me.
im so selfish. i want you to be here for my kids like you were for me. i dont want a stipend or a trust fund or anything. YOU are valuable. YOU taught me how to budget a paycheck, how to save for a car, how to hold that cars-worth of money in my hand and pay it to the piper... you ultimately, but you made me HOLD that money. you made me KNOW it. you taught me good music, and movies, and comedians. first concert, god knows who, it was in a field. got to see Steve Miller on your dime, you bought me tickets to see Prince
which, due to your teaching, i could NEVER have justified purchasing for myself.

im so distraught. and 6+ gulps of whiskey to the wind. hubby is here, so kids are safe, no worries. but i am the sad. i am the embodiment of forlorn and dread. he loved me when he didnt have to. i am his oldest, even though i share no blood. he has never, ever made me feel like less because i wasn't "his"

i am as much his as his own. he taught me everything. work ethic. dedication to family. cooking home-cooked meals. knife skills. you shouldnt work so hard your whole life to be taken down by the "C"
and his own mother passed when he was 10, so who the FUCK am *I* to complain? im 31! i've had plenty of time.

and yet never enough. im a fucking mess right know. i love you guys. you're the only ones i can tell. he wants his memorial on a party bus, so everyone can smoke. im dead right now. dead inside. and still, havent had enough whiskey to drown my fucking feelings.

 

Very Sad Post........Just Remember If You Want A Shoulder To Cry On We Are All Here To Listen.....



Cheers Glen.

 

Nawww. -hugs-
I can also offer shoulder to lean on or to talk to.

 

Sending vibes ML.

 

I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

Have your fit. I know you are entitled to it; and then spend the rest of the time building more memories.

Does he live close?

Can you have frequent phone calls?

Be the woman he taught you to be. Handle this with strength and dignity, for him.

 

we are close, less that 30 minutes away. and i know you guys are here for me. that s why i knew to come here first. im a wreck. he wants us to help fix up the house so it can be sold if it needs to when he "goes"
i just expected him to be there for my kids too. 5 inches of tumor sounds like a lot to me. and while i *know* all parts can get cancer, how often do you hear of it in the kidneys? so theres probably little to no research.

and then, theres the "in case of afterlife" whenre he might get to spend more time with my firstborn than i have. and i wont begrudge him THAT, but still, im sad for me, and my living kids. im just devastated. he should have time to travel, not work himself into his grave.

 

We've never met but your in my thoughts with this pain.

I know the beast all to well. Cancer loves to rip families apart.

I'm sending you love.... a friend's love.. a caregivers love.

 

awww dang Mother's Love...I'm so very sorry.

What a fine man and excellent role model you had growing up...it isn't selfish to want your kids to learn from him, or for you to not want him to leave. Its human.

 

ML, I am so very sorry to read your new and even more heartfelt is I know how difficult this is going to be for all of you.

Accepting others choices is a really difficult place to be in, even when we do understand why they are making them. Cancer does not only devastate the person who has it but all those who care about them. I honestly believe that it is often harder for loved ones than the person who is dealing with the actual cancer.

If I can help, I am here. We all are.

Much love to you and your family. Your dad sounds like a man who we would all be honoured to know.