How Many Of You Actually Want Kids?

I'm the same way as piaf, i dont know what to do with babies. They just sleep, eat, and cry.

Kids are awesome though, they have such a unique perspective and sweet little minds

 

Not to me. 5 sons sounds far from ideal, yes.... but 5 daughters sounds like hell. But I always thought I would be able to relate to (and thus also take care of) a son much better than a daughter. Certainly would have more fun with a kid I can relate better to. So to be bluntly honest: if in the ideal situation (right partner, no worries about how to provide for everything etc.) I would consider getting a kid, but secretly I would strongly prefer a boy.

Haha and yes, I also disagree about the newborns. I don't like being around them. I don't like their smell, I don't like the smell they mask the baby smell with. I only grew some sincere love for my brothers kids when they started to learning how to speak. Well, the youngest is still a baby so yeah, I 'm only digging one kid atm. And yeah she's a lot of fun (at times), I mean it But I'm still very glad it's not my child.

 

Maybe I will just get some kids to ensure our european cultural heritage, because the amount of births in the western world are overall steadily going down but all those other crazy people are breeding like rabbits!

 

I wasn't sure. We both come divorced families and I was concerned the pattern would continue. I dragged my feet, but then relented and have not regretted it one day since then. I have teenager and I love that kid!

 

LOL you live in a world of stereotypes.....girls can be pretty nasty when they wanna be.
considering I never would have presented that type of role model for boys and my wife would have beat them senseless if they acted like agro morons, it was never an issue or concern.

 

Again, I feel the exact same way. I'm too selfish to sacrifice so much for a copy of myself. Someone earlier said it's to have the kids experience what you didn't. I'd rather just not have kids and experience it myself???

I'm in the same boat with my current girlfriend, it's like a match made in heaven that she's 28 and doesn't want children.

Yep I feel the exact same way, I watched over way too many kids while I was growing up. Seemed like the parents were always super hungry to get out and bail on all the kids to be watched with me, it was then that I knew I never wanted children. I never wanted to be the one watching the clock to see when I could finally go out or plan with everyone else that had kids to go out.

I don't mind interacting with a child every now and then, I do sometimes like their views on things if they're not an insane ball of energy bouncing off the walls. It's the endless energy I can't handle. If I for whatever accidentally have a child one day, I'd like them to be a sophisticated quiet reserved child. That just doesn't happen exist. I'll experience the joys of parenting through short doses of my friends children when they have them.

I also wouldn't be able to handle how soft discipline has gotten with kids these days. I feel like growing up like I did getting spanked and standing against a wall with my legs bent, arms out holding something in each hand for 20 minutes would be viewed as torture and I'd go to prison for it. I can not deal with tantrums.....I'd abandon the monster on the spot.

 

I knew by my early 20's that I did want children. I am thankful that I was able to have them. It is a decision I have never regretted and one that I have gained far more from than I ever thought I would. It has been a privilege to raise them into adults.

 

It's only on message board forums that I see large numbers of people saying they don't want kids. In real life every women I've ever met who hit late thirties without having produced an offspring has been thrown into a desperate state of panic and depression and has scrambled to do whatever they have to to get their husband and baby.

 

Soooo you don't believe the people on the message boards or??

 

yeah from the time they can use a toilet alone to about 8 is great

as an uncle i loved that section where all they had was non-stops questions...i like answering questions

so basically i kind of them in that space between being able to use the toilet alone and that age where they know everything



edit: i guess i was replying to the other page lol

 

and what's with all this doom and gloom if your parents divorced?
are some of you so weak and ineffectual in life that you would have no choice but to end up the same as your parents?????

my dad essentially left when I was about 10-11 and divorced when I was 14, my mother was VERY bi-polar with 6 suicide attempts and other bizarre shit.
My dad was pretty much an asshole from my perspective.
so of course that means my siblings and I would be doomed to bad marriages and divorce, etc,etc,.

My sister has been married since 1977
My brother has been married since 1985
I have been married since 1993
all solid relationships

Hmmm, guess we must be the exception to the rule, or the rule doesn't exist....

 

My personal preference has nothing to do with how my parents ended up. I was purely giving some backstory into my personal life. This decision I've made is completely my own because I want my utmost freedom, I have no issue getting married if thats what you meant by mentioning your family being married successfully for so long, I have no doubt in my marriage capability. I just don't want to have children, ever. I am selfish with my time and lifestyle to where having a child just doesn't fit my agenda.

 

There are no people on message boards. This is all make believe.

 

You say it like that though, sounds more like you are fighting the urge to have children

 

Same with guys sort of

You either have to have the solid career/build wealth or be the family man

Otherwise you are screwed later on

 

C'mon, you dont really believe being the perfect parent, stable home, good values etc.....makes one immune to ending up with a kid thats a sociopath, theres always a certain amount of luck to it

Yeah, I had a dad like that, sort of, although he stuck around till my little brother finished high school

As a kid growing up you just pay attention to how it affects you, dont really get how he would have looked to everyone his own age - a 30 or 40 something manchild

Its all an act, my dad knew as soon as the kids were grown up his wife was going to give him the flick. He never had any friends, the friends they did have were always the ones my mother brought in. All through his life no one ever liked him

He didnt have to worry about violence from me, but saw him get increasingly scared of my brother from about 15 yrs old - so in part do a runner before my brother becomes an adult, before the humiliation of getting dumped by the wife

So to my brother, mother and pretty much everyone else he just looked like some douchey manchild

But to me, just looks like my mother totally played him, 2 kids, pay the bills for 18 years then fuck off, poor guy was as dumb as a housebrick, so, easy to manipulate in that way

And with me as a kid, surprised he stuck around so long, a whole lot of extra stress 99% of dads dont face, he was always way overprotective about the wrong sex (males) - no dad, its the chics that are all bitchy rags. So with some things, he should have got a medal


So it can all look one way, but what if yours knew once his kids got to their teens, they all werent going to like him, just like everyone else in his life, and once they all got to adulthood your mom was going to give him the flick anyway, and he knew it....or you or your other brother were going to beat the crap out of him, whether thats a realistic threat or not.....even if it is in part his fault for being a selfish little mabchild

 

So nuanced

 

No of course not, but how a child is raised and the practical example shown by the adults in their life is about 75% of it.

 

There's an amount of luck keeping save on a daily basis in traffic as well. Doesn't mean driving skills aren't the most important aspect there. Same with parenting. Sure, there's a certain amount of luck to it. Doesn't take away from the usefullness of parents being a good rolemodel. Tremendously important. I would almost add 'obviously'. Why am i explaining this

 

Fighting the urge to have children......there is zero desire in every fibre of my being to have a child lol. Not sure where in anything it seems like I'm fighting an urge, I'm getting a vasectomy for crying out loud