How Many Of You Actually Want Kids?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Konvikt, Feb 13, 2017.

?

Do you want to start a family?

  1. Yes

    11 vote(s)
    28.9%
  2. No

    18 vote(s)
    47.4%
  3. I cant make up my mind

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. None of my own, would adopt

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  5. I prefer doge/cat

    9 vote(s)
    23.7%
  1. Konvikt

    Konvikt Members

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    Curious to see what others have to say, it's a topic I've been set with a solid no children since I was young, maybe 12-13. I grew up as an only child and the eldest of my extended family, parents divorced when I was 3 because my father was an abusive POS. I never could really handle the immaturity of children and it always put me off. Primarily now in my mid 20's I can't stand the immaturity of boys 9-16 in public they're just fucking obnoxious, girls are just an absolute handful with their own evil agenda's ;) jk ladies.

    My girlfriend and I have had the kids discussion a couple of times just to make sure we're both on the same page, she's known she hasn't wanted kids since as early as she could facilitate the thought of reproducing. After seeing and hearing so many stories and living through a dysfunctional family I really just don't see the point. We're overpopulated, tons of issues around the world and with so many opportunities to travel and experience the world with someone you care for why the hell tie yourself down with kids?

    I'm missing something here, yes I know I'm a selfish person and could never think of sacrificing my life, time, freedom and finances to raise a small copy of myself that generally just ends up giving you a headache half its life.
     
  2. Piaf

    Piaf Senior Member

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    I don't know, maybe.
    It would be difficult for me anyways, due to my health condition(s).
     
  3. NoxiousGas

    NoxiousGas Old Fart

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    kids are like anything else in the world, you get out of it what you put into it.
    sorry your personal experiences haven't been great, but does that automatically mean that it would be the same if you started a family?
    I understand fully many of your concerns/reservations and if I was your age I would share many of them concerning starting a family.
    My wife and I have 6 kids and every one of them are well adjusted and successful young adults.
    Raising kids isn't easy, even after they are adults, but the pros greatly outweigh the cons, IMHO.
    As you get older your attitudes may change and adoption is always a good option, that way you are helping the situation rather than adding to it in regards to population
     
    5 people like this.
  4. pensfan13

    pensfan13 Senior Member

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    i want kids to pay into the system so i can collect some sort of retirement fund.

    thats about the only kids i want
     
  5. Ged

    Ged Tits and Thigh Man.

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    I don't think will have children.(When did children become "kids" anyway?) I come from a somewhat dysfunctional background myself and have adjustment issues as I relate to adult society,the norms and expectations etc.I'm too much of a wobbly head I think.I'm 46,and don't envisage meeting anyone compatible to do that settling down together thing.I fully respect people who have children but I don't think this World as I see it is a fit place.I like being around my nephews,they are lovely boys and well brought up,but that's as close as I want to get.There is a terrible aching poignancy to youth that I can hardly bare to be close too.It's a sacrifice to some extent,but I think I this is the end of the line for my particular genetic mish-mash.
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. GLENGLEN

    GLENGLEN Banned

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    I Have 6 Kids Ranging In Age From 12 To 18.....Certainly A Lot Of Work Raising Them, But When I'm

    Old And Grey I'm Sure They Will All Have Top Jobs And Will Be More Than Happy

    To Support Me...... :wheelchair:



    Cheers Glen.
     
    scratcho likes this.
  7. pensfan13

    pensfan13 Senior Member

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    Whats that? You cats get acting jobs?
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. SpacemanSpiff

    SpacemanSpiff Visitor

    I always want kids




    i want them to buzz off
    i want them to shut up
    i want them to be quiet
    i want them to stop chewing their food with their mouths open
    i want them to ...you get the picture
     
    3 people like this.
  9. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

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    I grew up with four sisters and I knew very early on that I didn't want children. Nothing in my child life happened for me to reach this decision it was just something I developed early, I didn't deal well with kids.

    When my younger nieces and nephews were being born I wasn't interested. I didn't want to see them, didn't want to meet them I just didn't care. I never picked them up, wouldn't play with them and never understood the "cuteness". When they looked at me I pulled faces and made them laugh, but I felt nothing.

    And so I went through much of my life like this and with every year that came, a stronger distaste for children.

    Now that I know who I am etc. and proud lesbian, I don't think I'll have children because at the moment at 29yo I'm still not interested. I have my dog and my rabbits. That's enough for me right now.

    Of course I'd love to mother a child and being them up the way I see fit, but it's always been a statement in my mind that in all honesty that's selfish of me. Bringing a life into this world at the moment with all that's wrong is just selfish.

    There is no good reason to have children other than the reason of want. It is not a necessity, so I look at all the young mothers these days so proud of the children and I just hope those kids grow up decently, without illness, without hardship, because really they never asked to be born, their parents just wanted a child so they created one.

    Some people say having no children is selfish because we just spend the money and time on ourselves instead. That sounds like absolute heaven to me. That's how life should be, for me.

    Someone once told me you have children so that they can experience everything you haven't. I never understood that. If I haven't don't something or haven't experienced something, I'm going to go do that and experience that... I'm not having a fucking child so they can do it for me what kind of fucken nutter would seriously do this???!?!!????
     
    3 people like this.
  10. morrow

    morrow Visitor

    I had 3 children, loved being a mum, if I could go back, and do it again, I would! I even loved the school holidays, and missed them when they went back!
    But even though my kids are happy about their upbringing, they have each chosen different paths about having children themselves..
    Eldest never wanted to be a dad, but at 29 his girlfriend got pregnant, his partner for lots of reasons found it hard to be a mum, so dad had to step in and take over..He was fabulous at it! She is 11 now, he is the apple of her eye, enjoys her and being a dad, but they never had, or will have another!
    He youngest, doesn't want any, but loves her animals, and her siblings children, but admits, she is too selfish..
    Now the middle one, has 2 boys and two girls ..Loves being a dad..Strange, being a parent isn't for everyone, but if you choose to do it, it's quite an amazing experience! Don't right it off too soon, or forever! Also, don't feel bad if you change your mind later, more and more people are leaving it later..
     
    3 people like this.
  11. SpacemanSpiff

    SpacemanSpiff Visitor

    im not writting ot off...in fact id prefer to find a lady friend that already has kids.

    i just need them to be already grown

    ..so they can come shovel the snow


    ...quietly


    ..and then go back to wherever they live


    cutting the grass would be great too...im getting really tired of doing it with my allergies
     
    2 people like this.
  12. Meliai

    Meliai Banned

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    I have one child, i dont know if i'll have another one. I was never one of those women who had an overwhelming desire to be a mom like some but i was always curious about it, curious about what it felt like to love someone that much. And then i found myself unexpectedly pregnant when i was pretty much in the same place in life as the OP, i didnt want to settle down or sacrifice my time and money but i've found parenting to be immensely rewarding. It was hard at first to give up some things i wasnt ready to give up but some things i would have grown out of and stopped doing anyways, others i can still do. I can still travel, with or without my child because luckily i have a strong support system and a willing grandma to babysit if we do want a few adults only days out of town or a night out. And i love raising a child, there are so many assholes in the world and i take the act of raising this sweet innocent persom to grow up to be a good kind person and not an asshole very seriously.

    The pregnancy and the first year of parenting was an ordeal though, i dont know if i'm willing to go through all that again. It was very difficult at first but gradually gets easier as they become their own people.

    I do want to be a foster parent one day, maybe in the next 5-10 years
     
    1 person likes this.
  13. olderndirt

    olderndirt Senior Member

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    Kids are great, but grandchildren are better! We have two children, plus four grandchildren. The joy outweighs the frustration, anger, disappointment, inconvenience, etc.
     
    1 person likes this.
  14. RubySoho6

    RubySoho6 Organized Chaos

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    I have a son that is almost 10 months old. It took me 10 years of trying to actually get pregnant. Who knows if I will have another one. I'm giving it 2 more years then one of us is going to put a permanent end to it. I wouldn't trade it for the world. It's sooooooo much work but a million times worth it.
     
    1 person likes this.
  15. LittleBee

    LittleBee Members

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    well, if even there will be an opportunity... no, I don't want to have children at all.
     
  16. M_Ranko

    M_Ranko Straight edge xXx

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    I actually don't want them. Too much baggage in my personal life, it wouldn't be a good idea.
     
  17. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

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    Nah you don't want someone else's kids or someone's else's problem. :D but that's the hard thing as you age most chicks already have kids by the time their 30.

    One of my friends he really hates kids. It's not even a "don't want" it's hatred.

    I worried for him because he never had a gf for years and he was getting older in his 30s and it was like yeah but like, you're just not gonna find that prestine clean girl in her 30s. They're all knocked up and stuff. :D

    Mind you, he now has a gf that hates kids just as much, so he's done good there. :D
     
  18. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    Dont take this the wrong way, but I know you have 5 girls

    Whilst 5 girls sounds like a LOT of yapping to me, its still preferable to 5 or 6 boys. I agree with the OP on boys 9 to 16, I'd actually extend that to 9 to 40, guys are just douches, even after 40 too many guys just seem to turn into grumpy old men that blame everyone else for everything

    If I ever did some kind of Brady Bunch thing, it would have to be all girls. Teenage guys, hell no

    I wonder how different your view would be if it had been 5 boys instead, and the type always getting in trouble with the law, getting into fights etc, overly agro at everything
     
    1 person likes this.
  19. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    As for me, already exceeded my babysitting quota 5 times over when I was a kid myself

    So no, never had an interest in adulthood

    New borns are adorable and magical

    But from 2 years old and beyond, get that fucking thing away from me
     
  20. Piaf

    Piaf Senior Member

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    I feel exactly the opposite.
    Babies are needy and annoying and not much fun.

    3 years old and beyond, I'm good with them.
    You can do all sorts of fun things with them....painting, drawing, cartoons, songs, games, lego, puzzles, movies, theatre, library...
    Babies just cry, but kids...you can talk to them, they can understand stuff, and yall can even compromise.
    I've been babysitting my nephew for the last two weeks. Like....all day long, everyday, not just for a few hours.
    We had a good time, it's not like kids are these awful monsters that you can't reach an understanding with.
     

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