Lost A Friend/Sorry/I loved my friend

I've posted this on just about every site I use so far so I might as well post it here too
My best friend told me to "Get out of her life"
I feel horrible. I didn't mean to hurt her but I have as whenever I was around her, I acted like we were still kids. I had no idea I was causing her so much harm.
I want to apologise for all the stupid things I've done but she doesn't want to hear from me again.
I guess I should just leave her alone for a decade or two.
Although she wants to smash my brains out, I feel the exact opposite. I still care for her and now I'll never see her again. My only wish in life is for her to be happy. I want to say 'goodbye' but I'd better not.
I think moving on is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I keep lapsing into depression

 

Give it time...Time changes things

 

I think perhaps there was a lack of sensitivity on your part not to have perceived the frustration in your best friend for a long time, till she became stern with you.

You can work on this factor by improving your ability to read body language which is an effective way to guage the other person's mind.

I usually use this source of intel, to see whether I am spending too much time with a friend or colleague, no matter how friendly and polite they seem, and leave them. This has helped my relationships to be relatively solid . Of course, I learned this by trial and error from nasty earlier life experiences.

I think practice of meditation can help one to be insightful and intuitive with respect to relationships. It also helps in grounding oneself and enjoying one's own company better.

 

For all the years I knew her, it never dawned on me that 'I'm busy now' and 'Talk to you later' meant that she was finding me annoying or she was trying to avoid me. I feel horrible I wouldn't have continued to hang around her for so long if I had noticed what she was trying to say. I guess my biggest regret was the way it all ended. I had the perfect chance to say 'Goodbye' and leave on good terms but instead, our friendship is over.
I want to apologise desperately but had better not. I'm scared that if I contact her again, she'll take legal action or worse

 

I used to LOVE my best friend. I thought she was the most wonderful and perfect thing on the planet.
Although lots of people must have thought I had depraved sexual fantasies about her, I DIDNT; all I ever wanted to do was wrap my arms around her, hold her tightly and say 'I love you' to her. That's as far as I ever went with my fantasy's about her.

(Mod note: three threads have been combined)

 

I recently lost my best friend. She told me to 'Get out' of her life [more exposition on this is in a different thread]. I really want to apologise to her. EVERYTHING that went wrong was my fault.
I feel so guilty and horrible about it. I cant stop thinking about it.
I want to say 'I'm sorry' to her but I'm worried about HOW to. Should I wait for some time to heal the damage or will that make it worse? I'm worried about ALL the possible negative outcomes.
Should I call her, write to her or what?

(Mod note: three threads have been combined)

 

Mate !! If you really want to show her that you're sorry just do what she asks " Get out of my life " Actions speak louder than words so they say , Probably do you good to move on as well , None of this I am saying is meant to be funny or Hurtful in any way ! it's from the heart mate

 

If your friend wants space, then give them space. The apology you want to give is more for your benefit than theirs. No one wants to feel guilty, or bad about hurting a friend, so we want to apologize so that we feel better, not them. Maybe they will be willing to hear you out if you give them the space they demanded. Until then, take the time to come to terms with the mistakes you made, and how to avoid making them again in the future.

 

All my unsuccessful relationships and/or interactions I have been the one that should have gotten that apology. All, but one relationship, that one relationship I should have been the one that apologized. I was the one that was toxic, in the wrong, unhealthy, or however you want to word it. I did apologize after a couple of years of not having contact. And he forgave me. That's it! Basically, you will know when to do it and how to do it. So, right now you're unsure, but one day it will hit you and you will just do it, however you feel fit. And odds are they will forgive you, because odds are this person is great. But, don't expect or ask anything more. It's just an apology. Leave it at that. Even if they suggest something more, which in my case, they did... don't do it. Don't bother. You're not different than you were before. So, it will end the same. You will always hurt them. But, maybe you're different, so if they offer... maybe it will be different with you. I just think it should just be an apology, to let go and move on. It's not about mending or repairing, it's not about starting over. It's just an apology.

 

I'm a fan of a sincere and well thought out apology letter. I find that most people really appreciate it, even if they are still upset. It gives you time to reflect on what you really want to say, and gives them time to process their feelings after reading it. In person, it's easy for someone to shut down after hearing emotionally charged words, and an apology can quickly escalate into another argument. And best of all the other person does not have respond if they don't want to. Apologizing in person, over the phone, or via live messenger (think facebook) kind of puts the other person on the spot. So I think an email or a letter would be the way to go.

 

LOL

someone wrote me an apology once...which felt real and I said to myself..."Awwwwhhhh...how sweet and sincere..."

but then they started hounding me and got mad at me and being abusive all over gain for not responding to them right away after they wrote again....That ended again when I told them off again.

OP, I read your feelings here about all of this and thought..."Awh...how sweet"...but immediately after, you are writing sex stuff and I am thinking ok, forget it,....."

 

Lol!

 

Yeah--an apology, no matter how seemingly sincere, will not fix a person or transform an abuser. I was providing guidance on the assumption that OP is not a psycho or a mean-hearted bloke.

 

Ok, given the context of the other threads, I revoke my previous statements and instead tell OP to leave this girl in peace. As drumminmama said: respect her boundaries.

 

Apologizes don't always work. Sometimes just too much goes on. I wished I had received an apology from a 'friend' over an angry email she sent me while I was going through a tough time that led to me being in the ER. I had tried to contact her via text but didn't realize her phone had been stolen, so naturally she assumes the worst of me...and she's assumed the worst of me before. Now I just don't give a damn, I've got my own problems I need to work on.

My advice to the OP is just to leave your friend alone, no matter how painful that is for you. She has her own life and you can't really know what she may be going through at the moment.

 

That it really ^^

At some stage you just realize that whatever problems somebody has with you are their burdens and not something you need to waste your own personal time, energy and emotion on dealing with it.

 

"You don't get to script her life..."

I love that. Perfect. I have wanted to say that to so many people, but could never find the words...You don't get to script my life.....That goes down in one of the best things i have heard.

Anyone can script their own life, but not someone else's in any way...unless someone says...please help me and script my life right now, i am lost...but without that permission...it is a no no.

I wanted to thank you for putting things in those clear, perfect words.......