From Boyfriend To Fuck Buddy, Bad Idea?

Discussion in 'Free Love' started by onemorething, Dec 29, 2016.

  1. onemorething

    onemorething Members

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    I really need unbiased advice. My best friend disapproves because she cares about me a lot, but having strangers' opinions as well would really help.

    Two weeks ago, my boyfriend of six months and I broke up because he'd lost his feelings for me and felt too much responsibility in our relationship. I'd fallen in love and was initially devastated, but I'm of the type who, when I'm rejected, lose my feelings for the person. So two days ago, he and I have a bite to eat and end up at his apartment, talking for hours about nothing and he occasionally touches me affectionately. I eventually ask him if there's something on his mind, and he confesses that he's still sexually attracted to me, and says that just because our relationship didn't work doesn't mean he doesn't still want me. I tell him I'm still attracted too and agree that we could never work, and he kisses me.

    Kissing turns to sex, and afterwards we agree on being fuck buddies and our terms in regards to it and make sure we both understand there are no feelings involved. But we still went to see a movie together yesterday, since we're closer to each other than anyone else in our lives, and we still enjoy each other's company as friends. He had some dry skin/chafing trouble, so there was no sex afterwards, but we cuddled and eventually I ended up staying the night tangled up with him. In the morning, there were cuddles and kisses, and once we'd eaten breakfast I went back home.

    I'm very new to the concept of fuck buddies. I've never had one before, not even considered it. I've only been in two serious relationships (I'm 21), and I don't know what's a red flag and what isn't. Should we avoid doing things we used to do as a couple as friends, or is it fine as long as there are no feelings?

    My best friend says all this guy's looking for is a girlfriend without having to deal with emotional responsibility and other things tied to relationships, and I agree it seems that way, and I'm fine with that. To her it feels unfair to me, but I feel like what I want is someone to fuck and cuddle and hang out with too, without getting emotionally invested or hurt.

    Does anyone have experience with a situation like this? Does it seem like a recipe for disaster?
     
  2. Aerianne

    Aerianne Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    You fell in love with him over the course of the first 6 months.

    Frankly, I don't think this relationship is going to be fuck buddy material.
     
  3. morrow

    morrow Visitor

    Ever heard of the saying, "bread buttered both sides?"

    This could potentially leave you with no self esteem!

    Leave him behind, remember, it means he will be probably fucking others! Can you deal with that? After all, he isn't committing anything else to you!
     
  4. Browneyedblunder

    Browneyedblunder Members

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    I agree with Morrow & Aeri...

    This may end up hurting later on..
     
  5. Flagme15

    Flagme15 Members

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    You just think you ended the relationship.
     
  6. bft4evr

    bft4evr Senior Member

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    Why buy the cow when the milk is free?
     
  7. SpacemanSpiff

    SpacemanSpiff Visitor

    didnt read but life is short so do whatever you want as long as it isnt hurting anyone else
     
  8. John1234567

    John1234567 Members

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    Actually having a fuck buddy is quite healthy in learning about your self, sex and the opposite sex without the filter of a relationship. If it gets to close again it can hurt but its also fun to share stories of conquests and failures with someone that has no reason to lie
     
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