May The Force Be With Her

ABC News -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5Jw2AXqKak&t=85s

 

Funeral News
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/carrie-fisher-debbie-reynolds-have-joint-funeral-will-be-buried-together-959964

 

Umm. She never said she had a favourite.? Mother and daughter bonds are different from mom and sons.

What is the saying ..?

“A son is a son 'til he gets a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all her life. ”

 

That's not been my experience.

 

Bonds are indeed different
“A son is a son 'til he gets a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all her life. ” is a phrase well true, although Parent/Child relationships can often be held together by persona = a bonding of un-calculated design but moreover emotional attachment which is particular individual pairing

 

They also did not speak for ten years. To repair that bond through talking and understanding they must have had with one another was huge. Mothers also most often put more energy into the one who is broken, trying to help them... so the loss of caring for that one who needed more than the other is hard to deal with as well.

“My lowest point in Carrie and my relationship was probably when we discovered that she was ill, or that she had this mental health problem, and that it was going to be with her forever,” Reynolds told Oprah Winfrey in a joint 2011 interview with her daughter.

“There have been a few times when I thought I was going to lose Carrie,” she added. “I’ve had to walk through a lot of my tears, but she’s worth it.”

 

May I interject here. We certainly do not know the dynamics of anything here.....and maybe Debbie would have died of a broken heart if Todd died instead of Carrie, also...Maybe Debbie knew Todd would be ok.
Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

I know it would have killed my mom had either my brother or me died while she was alive.....

 

Very true - No Parent wants to outlive any of their children

 

Bonds between parents and siblings differ, not because of gender so much, but because everyone is an individual.

I say her son must've felt slighted because I saw this very thing happen in my family after my brother died.

My mom was heard to say, in front of her 4 remaining children, that "He was my favorite!".

She proved her words true when she died from grieving his death. It wasn't immediate like Debbie Reynolds. It was long and pain staking to watch.

Mom didn't feel that her other 4 children and a dozen grandchildren were enough to live for.

I understand her grief, I really do, but not to that extent.


For Debbie Reynolds to tell her son that she wanted to be with dead Carrie more than she wanted to be with him, had to hurt him.

 

I am sorry. I did not hear Todd say..."I want to be with Carrie MORE THAN YOU...."...I did not hear the more than you part. Can you please provide the link?

 

Don't think that was said - at least that I could find

 

Yes, it was implied. That's why I didn't post it as quoted.

I can imply that I think someone smells bad without having to say a word.

A face can launch a thousand ships.

A nod and a wink is universally understood, just as is telling a living person that you want to be with a dead person is.

Anything else you'd like to fain ignorance about or nit pick nearly to death, Moonglow?

 

I did not realize that interjecting another possibility and point of view was nit picking, especially about someone who is dead and cannot speak for herself anymore. I am sure we will never know the full extent of her last conversation with Todd and what she may have said to him about him. I know for a fact, that if my brother died, when my mom was alive....and she told my brother this...she would follow. I sat there thinking...I guess she will leave me, as i don't plan to die, but I realized that I was just feeling shallow and that is not what she meant.....She would have been equally as crushed if I were to have died. She did have a better relationship with my brother. She never understood me, but I know that does not mean she loved me any less.....with 20 20 hindsite....and I am happy she and my brother had a good relationship. I would have understood her better with 20 20 hind site. i never felt loved by her, and I was actually afraid of my own mom....but I know and feel now she did love me as much.

 

It's good that you can feel that.

 

I think it's also good that Debbie Reynolds could follow her daughter in death if that is what she really wanted.

It was much easier on her.

It took my mother nearly 2 1/2 years to grieve herself into nothing.

 

She never said it, Adrianne had that kind of experience with her own mother after her brother died. where her mom said her brother was her fav... and died...


Arianna, I am sorry that your mom said that... I was not my moms fav either but that doesn't mean she loved me less either...I am sure yours loved you a lot. My mom just didn't relate to me as well as my brother and sister. She also told had too many kids, she didn't have time for us all so she gave attention to those who needed or demanded it most... was your brother the one who needed her the most?

 

It didn't hurt my feelings but my husband saw one of my brothers react when she said it and he thought it must have felt painful for my 3 brothers to hear.

My deceased brother is the one that made her feel he needed her the most and she played right into it, enabling his drug addiction for decades.

 

but I must add....my mom did say alot during her last year she was alive that she did understand me many times.....Things were great from her.....but not knowing she was going to die soon...i could have been alot better.....and went to stay with her a week like she asked 6 months before she died. I will never forgive myself for that either. I thought she was going to live a long time more....and when she asked me, i was not ready yet...My bad...and now I think she knew.....she was going soon..If only she had communicated that with me........

 

She may have been most afraid for him? so as Morphgirl said,. maybe he needed her more or something, but not loving you any less....Maybe you were the strong one in her eyes.

 

I love all 4 of my pugs the same..but my sensitive gali....who sits and stays alone alot and looks sad all of the time...and is not bugging me and being a royal PITA, like the others......I am drawn to him. I know the others will be just fine with or without me....but him I worry about and feel sad for.