My boyfriend and i have been together for almost 3 years. I love him so much but our sex life is practically nonexistent at this point where as a we used to hardly keep our hands off each other. I wanna try to spice it up, but he is uncomfortable with the idea of toys and doesn't even try to bother with foreplay. I feel like its my fault because in the last year i've began to have weight troubles. I don't want to have an affair but I'm starting to think this rut will never end? Any suggestions?
stop clinging to a relationship that has run its course expecting a dude to feel the same about a fat girlfriend as he did when she was a skinny girlfriend is unreasonable....if he wanted a fat girl he would have found one to begin with...this is on you...sorry for the blunt reply but lose some weight and you just might have a shot...otherwise no
I would say it's time to play the field! If you are still motivated to be in some kind of relationship with anyone, and he seems to have lost interest, I would say break up with him and find someone new before you get old!
Let's not forget, we don't know what size the op is, could just as well be she was, and now isn't, and her guy liked her big.. Also you have to think, is he playing away? Has he discovered, actually he likes guys more, but thought he could handle it, and now doesn't know how to get out of it.. Rolli you picked on the weight thing right off, could be, he is overweight , and can't do it with a mushroom! You guys!
Rollingalong,your reply was pretty rude and uncalled for in my opinion.How do you know for example the lady's bf is'nt overweight?To the original poster,we're all like rabbits re sex when we first meet someone.Then it can wain off.Have you asked your bf what the actual issue is?Don't blame yourself re your weight.Love is supposed to be unconditional afterall right?If you feel like you need to tone up,then do so,as that will regain your confidence.If you discuss the sex issue with your bf,and he says his sex drive is low,then you may have to think about whether you can make some sort of compromise.
yes...you are right...I did not think that her weight problem could be that she is too skinny and her bf wants the fat back.....like that has happened before but whatever.... and I think your reply is weak and soft and lacks useful advice......... if your relationship is full of compromises maybe it isn't a good fit
Did I say "Full of Compromises"?Love is'nt perfect is it?On some things,you may need to make a compromise.Why is my reply weak?Atleast mine was'nt rude.
If your guy doesn't love you and want to be intimate with you no matter what you look like, then maybe he's not good enough for you. I would do my girl whether she was skinny, weighed a thousand pounds, or had her face burned off with acid. Don't be all pathetic and start worrying about whether you're good enough for him, PLEASE. Evaluate the situation and make a cold, clear decision on what you want to do and then do it. If a little part of you is saying, "Man, this guy doesn't care about my feelings" ditch the fucking bastard.
....I tell it like it is...you told it like it would be in fairy tale land where men and women aren't superficial or somehow don't have a right to a thin wife...... back off me and help fix the op's life....I spoke to her just like I would to my sister...she wants to tell me to fuck off[like my sister does sometimes] she can...
Yes I also tell it how it is.No fairytale crap from me either.If the couple cant reach a compromise,then the OP really needs to consider whether she wants to stay with him.
define compromise?......because compromising ones sex life for some dick head who doesn't know what he has in front of him is not my recommended path dump the dude and move on....no sexual compromises....its either a good fit or it isnt
Ok I'll define compromise.For one,its not all about the lady in question compromising.Both should reach a compromise.Exampleand I'm just throwing idea's here)The ladies sex drive could be alot higher than her guys,and maybe reach a "compromise"where they both feel comfortable with how many times they make love,the guy could have some medical issue,in which he should see a doc,so thats his compromise! The guy might be really tired from working alot,so a compromise might be where they have more "quickies"?We don't actually know why the guys sex drive has wained so its pretty hard to offer the right advice in my opinion.
Kudos to you for acknowledging the issue and looking for advice. Can be tough to confront. I've had similar issues with my ex-girlfriend. For us the issue was just monotony of routine from 9-5 work life. What are each other's schedule's like? Do you other things together like weekend road trips, or date nights? I think these types of joint-activities (or lack thereof) could have some influence in your sex life. Honestly I've seen your issue a lot in many couples especially younger ones including my own relationship. I hypothesize and have read some article supporting this, that the proliferation of porn, and introduction to it at such a young age desensitizes real sex. Article here. I'm not saying your boyfriend is a porn addict, or that you should prevent him from looking at it. But rather acknowledge this as a possibility, and try to create environments of bonding that breaks "routine". Perhaps more spontaneity will lead to more sex.
I think yoga and rolling both made good points. First ask him why he doesn't want sex anymore or as often. But if the clues are connected the way they seem....then it is OK to be blunt. What the fuck are you in this relationship for if he isn't interested anymore. I am forced to wonder if he is getting all he wants elsewhere or just lost his drive, which could be from several reasons.
