This weekend I went to the flat of the guy i've recently been seeing for dinner&movie. All went well, as the evening went on and we were on his bed watching a film he leant over and we started making out. But within literally 2-3 minutes he said "I'm sorry, I can't (get it up)" I said that it didn't matter and went to the bathroom (needed a wee, but thought also it would give him a couple of minutes to potentially sort himself out). When I got back he had put his underwear back on. We kissed and then went to sleep. When I got home the next day I thanked him for the meal he cooked, he apologised for what happened, I said it didn't matter and that I would like to see him again. And he hasn't replied since. Did I do something wrong? Does he not find me attractive? Should I leave it and see if he replies, or send him another message? Can't tell if he's not interested or just embarrassed. ...Some added detail: 1. I'm not that experienced but he is as he is slightly older (i'm early twenties, he 30). 2. whilst making out I broke off quickly to reach for some lube, saying it was a while since my last time. so I might have killed the moment..? 3. Later into the night he started started touching me again, but I wasn't in the mood then and pretended to be asleep 4. The next morning I made an effort to act as if nothing had happened. We got on well, but as i left he kissed me on the cheek rather than on the lips. Guys/Girls, your opinions please? Honest but not brutal please
Apart from the fact i think your guy posted here... you sure know how to be a moody one, and i dont think you will hear from him again..but your own fault im afraid..just my opinion!
1. I don't think that would be a contributing factor at all, but who knows. 2. You are concerned about his lack of erection but you are reaching for lube before he's even there, why? 3. You aren't going to sort things out if you can't communicate and would rather pretend to be asleep. 4. Again, why not discuss what happened? Maybe he could have shed some light
It's not your fault if he can't get a boner. Unless you never bathe, talk about how good your ex was, start doing your nails, watch TV............
i don't think I was moody - we got on fine the next day. I decided not to bring it up because I didn't want to embarrass him, but perhaps I should have done. Nah, he didn't post here - I'm bilingual and he doesn't speak english
Thanks for your replies so far guys. I am pretty inexperienced sexually and feel like I messed up. Nice to hear your opinions. As you can imagine, I don't want to talk to my friends/sister about this because it is quite a sensitive topic and he is a really nice guy. He seemed embarrassed and so I'm not sure whether to ask him about it, like you suggested secret_thinker, or let him bring it up. So far it's just been me insisting that I don't mind.
If you like the guy, wait it out a little. Give it another chance. If excuses continue, forget it and move on. Mentioning what happened would serve no purpose--so no.
the dude lied to get out of banging you.....what the reason would be is anyone's guess....the lube reach is my guess....he thinks he doesnt get you wet lose this dude asap...........and stop the pretending to be asleep....that is for when you are married and far more unhappy
If he's fantasized about you for a while, probably pulling himself off to the thought of you, it's actually common to not be able to get it up the first time. Maybe better luck next time?
Some of these replies are a bit astounding. He might well think you are perfect for him. But if his head is fucked up over something else, then there's a high chance he couldn't do it literally if his life depended on it. Whether he's 18 or 108. I'm very high testosterone type male. But if my mind is seriously fucked up by something, I won't have any interest for a long time. So ofcourse he won't readily reply at the moment, as he feels like a bit of a tit.