What Sort Of Person Or Customer Does The Internet Think You Are?

In some ways, the Net is "clever". In other ways, its fucking well dim.

What has the Net tried to sell you in recent times eg via your browsing habits/data that has been sold on you etc?

Here's what the Net thinks I'm imminently looking to purchase.

1)A stupid torch that both the FBI and MI5 use. Apparently its "just about to be banned".
W. T. F

2)Some tiny little spinning metal tops. Copper ones, gold plate ones and other stuff.
The guy who had the idea must have a SERIOUS drug problem... And marketing $$$ spare..

3)A pair of jeans. 1200 euros from Italy.
Suitable only for someone with the dress sense of Mario Balotelli (don't bother googling him btw)

Perhaps I'll get a green leather tanktop to go with them.
NOT

4)An apartment in Moscow.

5)Rolls Royce financial services.

6)A jumper. Quite a nice one. But its black - like another 20 of mine.
(internet presumably thinks I import coke, by this stage...)

7)Some REALLY rough looking women. Ranging from 18 to God knows what..
But hey... only 1.6 kilometres away...!
Great.
NOT.

8)Another computer. Because I just bought one.

9)Some protein bars.

So, computer says.... :-

I'm a cocaine importing geek. Who spends all day spinning little metal tops on his desk. With bad fashion sense and an even worse sense in women.

But what am I gonna use the torch for... ? :-/

 

where do they have customized ads? i know facebook has them, but they are off to the side and i never even notice what they are. any other sites i use, i think they just have general ads that everyone sees. so hipforums seems to think i want to grow weed, and pornhub thinks i want to grow my dick to fuck random milfs.

i haven't even noticed ads on any other sites i visit.

 

i used to get those. it must have thought i was a limp perv because i kept getting prono links and viagra adds. then i started signing a lot of petitions for things i was interested in so now it get a ton of political campaigns begging for 'a small doe nation'. some of them must think i'm flush too, because just recently i started getting invites to those $500.00 a plate fund raising dinners you hear commedians joke about.
well that's in the email. i mostly don't see banner adds from the usual add agancies like double click and the like. i got a couple of those free add blockers firefox's default page links to most of the time it upgrades, so now instead of seeing adds, i have to look for something to click off when i want an imbedded script of some kind to run.

 

Ummmm.... The internet doesn't think.

 

Privacy blocker, ad blocker and a VPN

That should stop any "offers" you get

Shinning at the spinning tops while snorting a line and a proffessional lady passed out on the lounge

 

Aside from the Amazon account I have, I don't look at anything. You don't have to have a cent in your "account" with Amazon for them to consider you having that account - once you've ordered from there. oh yeah - dig that free information

I look up (google) foolish information sometimes but apparently that doesn't translate into me buying anything.

The only thing I get email (spam) for anymore is the occasional "Job That Is Just Right For YOU". :rofl: I've clicked on it and I'm sent to a list.

 

about a year ago I went to a clothing and shoes site through a link of a female friend to see what I thought of it and 'the internet' has been trying to point out great offers on female shoes ever since. I don't really focus on such ads but you just happen to see them sooner or later at the side of your screen. I find it curious that It still shows ads from that particular store (and product). So... I wouldn't say the internet or the people behind those ads are that clever. It's just hit and miss. Here they missed.

 

I discovered the work of chuck tingle on amazon and filled a friends kindle with them, since then my suggested reads from that site have been...interesting.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=chuck+tingle
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Chuck-Tingle/e/B00SF2MTYK/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_3?qid=1455155349&sr=8-3

check out a few choice titles

 

He offered to pay off my university library fines. I'll not have a word said against him (although he is a proper numpty)