Well, since you asked, my ass is magnificent! For the last twenty-five years I have been using a push-mower, and it takes me between two and a half and three hours to do my entire lawn area. People called me crazy for not using a rider-mower all these years; that is, until they see me in my bootcut jeans and witness for themselves the sheer magnificence of my ass. Now they say, "Wow! God really blessed you with an exceptionally magnificent ass," to which I reply, "Bullshit! My lawn mower and my will to have a magnificent ass is what blessed me with this ass. All god did was make it hot and humid almost every mowing day." Hell, if it weren't for these vericose veins on my left calf, I'd be frickin' perfect. And while it's true that I am not an ass-man, I have to say that my ass turns even me on. Given a choice between seeing a woman's bare breasts and my bare ass, well--it would be a close call; that's for sure; but since I can have both, I'm spared the difficulty of having to make such a tough choice. I'm pretty sure that god put men's genitals opposite the ass in anticipation of my entrance into this life because he knew that there'd no way I wouldn't have eventually given in to temptation and went at myself. I wish someone would start a thread titled: How's Your Legs? That'd be great because my desire to tell you about my legs is almost as strong as my desire to look at them.
