Cowboy Hats

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by Meagain, Jan 28, 2016.

  1. MeAgain

    MeAgain Dazed & Confused Lifetime Supporter Super Moderator

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    So after watching the Bundy Show or Have Gun Will Travel, I believe it confirms a long standing observation of mine that the wearing of cowboys hats has a negative effect on the intelligence quotient of said wearer.

    It seems that many people don't understand the function of a cowboy hat. A cowboy hat is designed with a high crown to provide an airspace that insulates the head from the hot sun. The wide brim offers shade and a limited amount of rain protection. It is designed to be worn on the hot plains of the American West.

    It doesn't work real well in the city or in the winter. So when you see these idiots wearing cowboy hats during the middle of winter at a siege out on the American plains, it just doesn't make sense. What they should be wearing is one of these Russian Commie hats with the ear flaps:

    [​IMG]
    That baby will keep your brain from freezing...which is what I believe happened to the Bundies and their "militia". Brain freeze. The synapsi quite synapping due to the cold.

    And it fits their attitude also; just like the Bolshevicks they want to seize power from the government....they would look good with that little red star.

    .....and I bet they all wore cowboy boots too. Another idiotic poser piece of clothing to be wearing during a siege. Cowboy boots are made to be worn while riding saddled horses. High tops to protect against brush, pointed toe to allow easy insertion into the stirrups, and a heel to help hold the foot in place. I've never seen anyone hiking the Appalachian Trail in cowboy boots, or storming the beaches, doesn't work.

    In short today's "cowboys" are pussys with their big hats, stupid boots, chaps, and six guns. You never see Indians with that shit. Indians are tough, they ride bareback while wearing moccasins and lion cloths, no hats, and they use a bow and arrows to hunt 3,00 pound bison....they don't herd those little puny cows around.

    So in conclusion I'm tired of these stupid cowboys running around shouting about Amerika and shit.....they can't even dress without posing as some rugged cowboy of the past while riding around in their SUVs and 4 wheelers and acting all macho and tough.

    Anyway that's my random thought(s).............
     
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  2. scratcho

    scratcho Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Yeah and those country western singers wearing them on stage is a little ridiculous also. Just came in off the range 'herdin' them dogies. of course, it's benign compared to the "warriors."
     
  3. quark

    quark Parts Unknown

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    I love these hats.
     
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  4. BlackBillBlake

    BlackBillBlake resigned HipForums Supporter

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    I've seen Englishmen up on stage doing C&W wearing cowboy hats. About as ridiculous as it gets really.

    My pet hate in terms of headgear is the old fashioned flat cap as worn by workers in grim industrial cities in northern Britain in the mid 20th century.
    A sign of one who 'knows his place' in a nasty little class hierarchy. So it always seems to me.
     
  5. Tyrsonswood

    Tyrsonswood Senior Moment Lifetime Supporter

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    I wear an outlaw hat... Not quite the same thing.
     
  6. SpacemanSpiff

    SpacemanSpiff Visitor

    i wear ball caps year round


    cowboy hats are for short scrawny men
     
  7. Tyrsonswood

    Tyrsonswood Senior Moment Lifetime Supporter

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    I resemble that remark...
     
  8. SpacemanSpiff

    SpacemanSpiff Visitor

    really?

    in my head youre scrawny but really tall



    edit: with a crow (and possibly other birds) living inside your beard
     
  9. Tyrsonswood

    Tyrsonswood Senior Moment Lifetime Supporter

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    I used to be 5'11" but now I'm 5'6" because of my back...
     
  10. MeAgain

    MeAgain Dazed & Confused Lifetime Supporter Super Moderator

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    To be fair not everyone who wears a cowboy hat is a complete idiot.

    I'm thinking of The Lone Ranger here. He wore a cowboy hat, although Tonto didn't. (Not the 2013 Lone Ranger, the real Lone Ranger, Clayton Moore)

    [​IMG]
    (Notice the hatless Tonto and the shade generated by the Lone Ranger's hat.)

    So as The Lone Ranger believed that:

    Cowboy hats can't be all bad......although The Lone Ranger was technically a vigilante and he did take advantage of Tonto, in my opinion. I know he was a Texas Ranger at one time but I think he forfeited that when he went underground as he never wore his badge anymore.
    Also he frequently worked out of his jurisdiction, broke into homes without warrants, and used entrapment to defeat others.

    So maybe the hat was beginning to affect him after all.

    Another thing that bothers me is that he had a son, but you never see his wife. So where did this son come from? Grandma Frisby has some cock and bull story, but I don't believe it.

    All this ends up with his son being the father of the Green Hornet, who didn't wear a cowboy hat, but did wear a mask and employed similar questionable vigilante tactics.

    So I can only conclude that cowboy hats are dangerous and they cause genetic damage for at least two generations.
     
  11. Heat

    Heat Smile, it's contagious! :) Lifetime Supporter

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    One size fits all

    [​IMG]
     
  12. 6-eyed shaman

    6-eyed shaman Sock-eye salmon

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    I sometimes wear polyester hats with a 360 degree brim mostly during the summer months. Not really a cowboy hat, but more like the hat Hunter S Thompson wore back in the day. Hats like that do have their functionality. But even the snow reflects UV rays from the sun when it comes out, yet then again how would a cowboy hat protect you from UV rays that come from the ground? They should be wearing Davy Crockett hats instead.

    On the contrary, the Indians were very eager to trade with the white man to get his technology. They liked guns, horses, fire water, and gave their children white people names. Sacajawea named her firstborn Jean Baptiste
     
  13. xenxan

    xenxan Visitor

    He is like a turtle; he carries his home on his head is the difference. Or he is a Mountie.
     
  14. themnax

    themnax Senior Member

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    maybe like guns, they're sort of like vicarious extra penises.
     

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