A Smart Toilet

I went to one of the big name lumber and hardware giant stores today to buy some usual supplies. When I was walking around, I noticed a new display for a Smart Toilet. I looked at it and pondered the idea. I told my self, "Well self, they have smart phones, smart cars, and smart root beer dispensers, so why not a smart commode?" Maybe the Smart Toilet could be programmed to call your Smart Phone to notify you in the event of an unauthorized user? I studied the features on this modern contraption, and was amazed at what all it did. The thing adjusts the seat to each user, as it remembers which person is taking a dump. I suppose it has a memory, so it would record the date and time and other features of the owner's bowel movements. The Smart Toilet has a self cleaning feature, so the owner does not have to use a cleaning brush anymore. And the Smart Toilet has the ability to check for the user's illicit drug use. I lifted the thing off the display floor to see how the underside looked, and discovered that it puts the new poop in the old sewer, not like a composting, or incinerating model. This new Smart and High Tech poop processor will set you back $1400 bucks. It might behoove you to just install an automatic door opener on your existing treasured outhouse.

 

Well, did you take a shit in it or what?

 

Another additional feature, it will upload to your facebook and twitter accounts, when you took a dump, what color it was, and how much it weighed ... There's an app for that.

 

A Bristol stool chart app? Interesting..

 

No, but I did ask the salesman if the thing could identify Republican poop or Democrat poop; you know, as in a political poop app.

 

How many pixels does it's camera has? And from which perspective is a selfie made (by default)?

 

Poop selfies!

 

At first all I was thinking was "kek" hehe .. but fuck that. How much internal memory does it have? I don't want a toilet that keeps logs on such things ... fuck that !!

 

I don't want to shit in something I've paid over $1000 for either.



Everything is "smart this" and "smart that", if ya ask me they should be called "IfYaStupid". People need these things to remind them to eat, work out, pick up their kid....now to take a dump someone needs a smart shitter?

Rant over....and get offa my lawn!

 

idk about you, but when I need to take a shit (or piss) ... it's pretty damn obvious and I don't need any kind of apps to remind me that I'll shit my pants if I don't go visit the restroom.

 

No comment.

 

iPoop....

 

It posts to your Facebook status when you use it..

 

It saves your production if it's above 9 courics.

 

Facebook, no thanks, thank you very much. Why spend $1000 so someone can profit from pooping habits .. if there was such a thing as "personal information", this would definitely be it; personal information is one of the hottest commodities on the market right now unfortunately.

 

It appears some people don't really care that others make a profit from their habits. If they are really indifferent to that and also really crave a 1000 dollar toilet I don't see the issue

 

The iPoop makes a chemical determination of what you ate yesterday and places an order to the store to have replacement food delivered by tomorrow. It also posts this information on your facebook. What's not to like?

 

That sounds fantastic for people that eat the same stuff every day

 

I regularly use other peoples rewards cards in stores ... fuck if I'm gonna sign up for one, because I know that my information is more valuable to them than any "rewards" I may receive.

So this is my confession, yes, I sometimes give a phone number and they look it up in the computer (yeah, i've changed my phone number a few times ya know) ... xboxgamer420@msn.com is that yours? Yeah, that looks about right lol.

 

http://youtu.be/WoW8bbyaXbw