Would You Ever Cheat And Why?

Why? Where is it written that you can only embrace a romantic and deeply sexual love for just one person. Polyamorous groups defy that concept by their very nature. A lot of folks here in the forums (and I include myself) believe that humans are not, by nature, a monogamous species, but rather have been trained from birth by society to be that way predominantly. For myself, my wife and I are monogamous and have been for over thirty years. There was, however, I brief period in our early years where I shared my wife with a close friend and she fell in love with him. She didn't love me any less, she simply felt that same way about him that she felt about me. The only reason that the three-way relationship didn't last was that he wasn't ready for that kind of long-term emotional attachment and he moved on. His departure hurt her and we've never tried to repeat the arrangement (although I've been tempted a time or two.)

So, while I can understand that such a relationship might not be for you, you might want to think about exploring the concept a bit. You may surprise yourself!

 

Some people have a strong sex drive...some don't have one at all. It's not cheating if the other person knows you're messing around. My wife has actually taken me to another woman's house to spend the night. She knows I'd never leave her for another woman, and I know it too. We are both too loyal to each other. She just likes to eat, and I just like to mess around. Most women over 50 lose interest. I think menopause dries them out and makes it uncomfortable. Men on the other hand don't seem to lose interest, but some need the blue pill to make it hard. But I don't need a four hour boner. Don't worry, I wear a raincoat.

 

All the individuals involved need to be in agreement about the deal.

 

I agree completely. However, you and I both know that, to many people (perhaps the majority of Americans), any loving relationship that involves more than one man and one woman is wrong on every level. The fact that we're more broadminded about it makes us "perverts" to many.

 

A literal danger to others, in the minds of some.

 

I had a sexting affair with a coworker for a few months several years back. Trading masturbation videos and the like. Don't know why we did it. We just did.

 

No. I got cheated on after 11 years of marriage and I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone.

 

I wouldn't ever cheat. Not even if she wouldn't even give me a kiss.

 

No.. Never. I would leave my wife and then go for it, but I would never cheat. Ever! It is wrong. I have been on the other side and I could never do that.

 

Common misconception is that cheating is about sex. Not usually the case. However, I have never and will never cheat. I believe it is wrong. Black and White for me.

 

Not usually the case? Since when has sex not been the case for like 90% of people? I don't think having a sit down chit chat constitutes as cheating, unless the partner has some sort of shady untrustworthy thoughts about it where they're too insecure to let their partner have a friend. Because that's just trash and it bothers me when partners disallow friendships based on gender.

 

Oh, I want to answer this. I will, but I'm on my phone right now.

 

Agh, I posted to much and lost this thread in my profile.
No more posting until I get on my laptop.
I really want to answer this.

 

i don't think he's saying that sex isn't how people cheat, he's saying that's not the motivation. like when they say "rape isn't about sex, it's about power."

 

No. Never have, never will. If she cheats on me, I'm not going to go around cheating to prove a point or make her feel the same way to antagonize the situation.

There's the door! Allow me to escort you

 

Sleepin by yourself at night can make you feel alone
My girlfriend said so, she's a little ho
That don't mean I fuck around
I like to keep that higher ground

 

I don't cheat, because it's not within my character to cheat. It's mostly because I don't want to deal with the BS drama, even if it's created by me because I'm doing the cheating. Another reason why I don't cheat is because it's nasty. It's weird because I don't think it's nasty when others cheat, but if I did that... I would think I'm a nasty girl, or less of a woman, and I don't want to feel like that. And of course, another reason is because when I'm with a guy I'm totally smitten by just that one guy, so my focus doesn't wander to another guy. Basically, I'm an 'one guy' kind of girl, where this one guy is good enough for me, he is my world, and you know all that lovey dovey stuff. So, there is no other guy that can even put their foot in my view because I'm totally smitten by this one guy, lol.

However, if a guy cheats on me I would still be with them, because I really don't care if my partner had sex with someone else AKA cheats. As long as they are protected because I don't want to get anything, then I'm good. I also would like them to be honest about it. I don't need any details, but just let me know. So, in general I'm good with cheating, but if things between us change as a result of being with this other person, such as they spend less time with me or something negative like that, then I'll have to talk to them about possibly ending the relationship. I'm willing to settle and make as many sacrifices as I can. Some people who know me say it's because I'm too nice, some others say it's because I have low self-esteem and low standards. I don't know what my true intentions are, but I know one thing for sure is that I don't care enough for the BS drama. So, fine... you want to cheat, go for it, but if you're benting my back to the point it's breaking... I'm done with this BS drama, as in I'm done with you.. because I can only tolerate and not care about so much.

In a perfect world, I would like the guy not to cheat on me. And not be like, "Babe, can this one girl join our sex night tomorrow?" But, I know I'm not good enough for any man. So, I'll try my best to not care, be understanding, settle, make sacrifices, etc... so I can be with him.

 

Let's just say I've never been in a situation where I've had to resort to cheating. But I can't say cheating is always bad, either. The are severe cases where one party is being abused by the other party, and sometimes the abused may end up developing some kind of romantic connection with the third, caring party who believes the abused one may thrive better without the influence from the abusing party.

One of my best friends was in a long-term abusive relationship until last year. In a way, it was surprising that he never resorted to cheating on his then-girlfriend. But at the same time, he's a noble guy and he also wanted desperately to believe his abusive bitch of a girlfriend could be very sweet as long as he obeyed her rules. Over the years, I'd hinted that he might be better off without the girlfriend, but in the end I ended up having to be more frank about it. Their relationship came to an end eventually, but since I knew the inside info, I wouldn't have thought of my best friend any less had he begun cheating on his then-girlfriend before the breakup. But he has his own set of morals and he never resorted to cheating even when he encountered temptations.

Getting back to the original question; would I ever cheat? Hmm, I don't see that happening based on my relationship with my girlfriend. Never say never, but first my girlfriend would have to become super nasty, evil, cunning, and mean...and that the only way for me to seek solace would be to turn to another woman. That kind of scenario doesn't seem likely to become reality in my case, so I guess I won't have to resort to cheating, lol.

 

Ive been involved in numerous cheating scenarios, from drunken one night accidents to long term affairs, with an equally varied selection of significant others. While theres a measure of remorse after the fact, and some instinctual paranoia accompanying the constant effort of hiding such a secret from my partner I've never truly felt guilty for those choices.. With a singular exception being the one instance in which i felt my infidelity was arbitrarily because i could and wanted to sleep with a person just because they were available. When ive cheated on my partners, its been in times of stress for the relationship where ive felt emotionally exhausted and cornered by overwhelming senses of falling below standard. I care about these partners, and dont want to terminate the relationship for fear of hurting them as much as because of my feelings for them.. But the need to release some intangible toxin by fucking someone whose not making my head and heart spin is, to me, instinctual. In essence you could surmise to say, i cheat when im feeling uncared for. Maybe out of spite, maybe not.
Im not saying that my reasons justify my behavior, or anyone else's.. But thats what they are.

 

"i swear, i was so drunk i tripped and fell into her vagina."