Got Any Fun Sexual Jokes?

Two lesbians and two homosexuals live in identical houses. If they both caught fire who would escape first? You'd think the lesbians would being they could get out lickidy split. The answer would be the two faggots.since They already had there shit packed!

 

I Believe The Correct Wording Should Have Been " Gays".......We Don't Use The "F" Word On Here....



Cheers Glen.

 

^......Fellow Members......



Cheers Glen.

 

Political correctness is a thing of the past. Quit whining, stop looking for something to bitch about and be happy!!

 

buncha fucken clown shoes more like.

alright.

has anybody heard the one about the tractor?

 

I Thought Since You Are GAY You Would Have Backed Me In Stating That The "FAGGOT" Word

Is Not Acceptable On Hip Forums.........Apparently Not....



Cheers Glen.

 

Actually the term i don't like the most is lesbian. I think it's an ugly word, I've never liked it. I don't feel right saying it or typing it.

I prefer to call myself fruity. im just a lit bit fruity. Or queer i actually don't mind queer because i sorta am anyway to definition. Lol.

Anyway. As he said though since it's a joke thread, I don't take offense to the F word. Depending the context of course but i didn't see any malice in it really. I was going to burn in a fire.

 

Or counter with some Hetero jokes.....


Whats the difference between a straight guy and a pizza?

The pizza takes 28 minutes longer to come



What do you call a soup made from straight people and vegetables?

Breeding Stock



What do you get when you mix a man, a woman, and three bottles of wine?

99% of the worlds population


Why dont straight guys like dancing competitions?

Its the one place they cant beat their wives


How many straight guys does it take to change a light bulb?

They all know how to screw it in, but can never work out how to turn it on

 

Hahahaha. Those were pretty damn good!! No offense taken..

 

Just Fell Out Of Bed And This Is The First "Notification" I Read..........Going To Be Smiling

For The Rest Of The Day.........Thanks For The Laugh.....



Cheers Glen.

 

The two fruity women next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday.

I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.......

 

What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?


Full

 

What's the difference between a pimple and a priest?

A pimple waits till you're 13 before coming on your face.

 

Not really a sexual joke, but...





An old cowboy walks into a barbershop in Red Lodge, Montana for a shave and a haircut.








He tells the barber he can’t shave all his whiskers off any more because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.







The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.




When he’s finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he’d had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed the little ball.

The barber replied, “Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does."

 

What's straight and sexually satisfying?


Nothing...

 

I think it's a beautiful word.

The one that I hate with the burning fury a million suns is "partner."

"Oh, this is my partner Sheryl." "I'd like you to meet my partner Tracy." "She's my life partner."

Makes me cringe. Like every gay relationship is two fucking cops investigating a goddamn murder or something.

 

I say partner.
Well now I say fiancé. =p
Or, she's just mine.

 

Mine and fiance??? OMG totally cute!!!

But partner...ugh, like our high school biology teacher paired us up to disesct a frog..a lab partner.

LOL we all have our quirks and standards. Anyway, sounds like you're happy and in love so...AWESOME and CONGRATS come to mind!!!