Got Any Fun Sexual Jokes?

This one is from the "Party Jokes" page in the latest issue of Playboy magazine. Normally, I ignore them because either 1) they're dumb, or 2) I've already heard them a thousand times. This one, OTOH, made me laugh out loud!

Two guys are at a friend's bachelor party. As they stand in the corner, nursing their drinks and surveying the crowd, one turns to the other.

"You know," he says, "I just read that, on the average, one man in twenty is homosexual." Gesturing towards the rest of the party-goers, he continues, "That means that it's likely that one of the guys at this party is gay!"

"Oh, I HOPE it's Jeff!" breathes the other guy. "He's cute!"

 

I just came up with an idea. Put Tuna Fish and Pink Salmon in the same can and call it "Tuna Pink".

C/S,
Rev J

 

Sorry I don't get this one, can someone explain this to me?

 

Say it out loud. Then say "Two in the pink". Notice how similar they sound.

C/S,
Rev J

 

Ok, but what does "Two in the pink" mean? Is that a euphemism for something?

 

"The Pink" is another term for pussy. Probably short for "Pink Taco". Two in the pink generally means 2 fingers in the pussy.

C/S,
Rev J

 

Ok got it thanks lol.

 

What is the lightest thing in the world?

A penis, because just a thought can lift it.

 

Whats it called when a bull masturbates?


Beef Strokinoff

 

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

 

bruce jenner

 

A man comes home from a hard day of work only to find his wife laying in front of the fire place with her legs wide open. He asks "Honey, what are you doing?" She replied, "I'm heating up your dinner."

 

Paddy says to his mate That blonde in the flat below put a note in my letterbox saying " come down and Fuck me stupid " his mate said "Did you Go" ? Paddy said "Nah nobody asks Me to do them a favour then calls me names "

 

Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.

 

Did you hear about the guy who mix his viagra and rogaine? His hair stands on end.

Then the same guy mixed his viagra with his iron pills. Now he points north.

 

Hear about the Viagra Eye drops ? For people that want to look Hard

 

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

 

I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.

 

When does a man want to have sex twice?

Before he is done the first time.

 

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

Beat it. We’re closed.