I Want To Punch My Mother In The Face

Join the marines

 

He doesn't like his mom? Just wait until he meets the drill instructor in basic training:

 

There is a huge difference between a bad mother who doesn't care and someone who is just at her wits end. I have read all of your posts and it sounds to me like your mom is the latter.

I have also said this before in another post but you remind me almost exactly of my brother. He has many of the same issues you do and a very similar attitude from what I can tell. He also had a very similar relationship with our mother until recently and I have a fucking amazing mother. They do get into fights though and he feels the exact same way you do. That she doesn't care about his feelings or understand his plight.

He has gotten a job now though and is starting to get help and deal with a lot of his other issues like ocd, phobias and social anxiety and he has been discovering more and more that it wasn't actually her fault. My mom is also a lot happier now. The stress of dealing with a son like that had really been bringing her down and she found herself lashing out sometimes.

I'm not saying you are in the exact same situation but I am seeing a ton of similarities. Maybe it's time to take a step back and look at yourself and how you interact with people instead of blaming others.

 

Sigmund used to spend 20 minutes every day trimming his beard. Which is why it looks the same in so many photographs. He was marketing his image as well as his craft.

Thanks to Jane, my wife, we have way to many cats, wherever we live. Other neighbor cats complicate the issue though we have been pretty good about catching the females and getting them fixed. Still, I have been able to observe them far more than I ever did growing up. And I notice something as the kittens of any given litter get older. At a point when they are weaned and are a bit beyond juvenile stage it's like someone flipped a switch. The mother cat and the siblings shift from close association into competition for meals.

I've seen mother cats attack their offspring for simply waking too close or surprising them suddenly. Particularly when the smaller cats are just trying to play as normal cats do. Eventually they seem to mellow out as the kittens finally reach adult stage. However, if there are a surplus of males, war breaks out. The established males attempt to run the younger ones out. Mother cats have absolutely no use for their male offspring beyond reproduction when they shift into adult age.

Or it could just be that she realizes she won't be able to retire in any sort of comfort. Especially since she's clearly supporting a son who should be taking the lead in providing for her as she ages. But I find that sort of loyalty is odd in the US these days, not common. It's unsettling to see siblings fight over who pays what for their parent's funeral. But leading up to that, how well we take care of our parents is a powerful indication of our character. Even if they are crazy, sick, angry or just plain assholes (to a point of course). It should be no shock that a parent pulls the "under MY roof" card. Even if they're renting a trailer they want to feel like they are in control. If that doesn't appeal, hit the door. Another thing parents do is stop buying (or start hiding) all the "easy food" and throwing the outside AC breaker off on the way to work, as a Wal-Mart greeter, till they die.

Try to imagine how many people will have ZERO sympathy for the guy who cracked his mother's face with a bat. The arresting cops will probably help you fall a few times. Then the jailers will put you with the guys who really know how to party into the night. The judge will send you to a long-term inmate party zone where the tales of your deed will be well known since the news is about the only thing worth watching on basic cable sometimes. Only, they won't be using bats!

 

Also, regardless of whether or not she is your mom, you live under her roof and eat her food, so you should just shut up and do as your told. Not because she birthed you but because she is currently feeding you.

 

Have you tried looking into vocational rehabilitation programs in your state? They may be able to help connect you to some rescources.

You could also try calling 211, or visiting 211.org. There may be some free family counseling resources out there. Maybe your mom wouldn't want to go, but maybe it's still worth a try.

Also, even if she won't go to counseling, it would probably be really helpful for you to go. 211 may also be helpful with that.

Your dealing with a really frustrating situation, and your anger is understandable. As others have pointed out, your mom may have some justified feelings too.

Regardless of whether her feelings are justified or not, resorting to insults and shouting is not a good way for her to deal with them. Likewise, your resorting to violence would be the wrong path to take.

HF is often not a place to find lots of gentle, understanding support. One can debate what kind of response is really best for you, but the kind of responses that you may have hoped for are probably not here.

You may want to visit www.suidiceforum.com if you would like to hear from people who would take a little more gentle approach to family dynamics issues.

Please just get out of the house for a little while, or find a more understanding listener rather than resorting to violence.

Hope that things can get better soon!

 

there are 2 sides to every story. Maybe your mom doesn't make enough money to support you and the stress is getting to her, or maybe she was counting on cougaring it up during this time of her life and bringing all this man meat home but she can't because she's too busy picking up your socks and dirty underwear.

or maybe you're a perfect son and she's a horrible bitch. Nobody here has any way of knowing, but we do know you're in a very unhealthy situation. If you've been out of work for a few years you could have used that time to go back to school. Or like others have suggested, just take the shittiest job you can find. Call centers will usually hire anyone and hire quite frequently if there are any in your area.

 

I apologize for this post, I was upset at the time when I posted it. I have a great deal of respect for my mother and I don't actually want to punch her in the face, otherwise I would have by now. The real issue is obviously my anger. I have a very short fuse lately and it seems like every little thing gets to me... and it doesn't help that my mom doesn't understand how I feel and puts so much pressure on me all the time. But I digress, I have only myself to blame for being on the verge of physically lashing out at her. She may be ignorant, but her intentions are pure.

 

That was very mature of you to admit and just proves that your anger is something that you CAN work on. I suggest you look into the free (or nearly free) counseling options in your city. There has to be something, whether it's through the government or perhaps a university with a psych program. The sooner you can sign up the better though because most free counseling programs have a very long wait list.

If you do get into counseling I would bring your mom with you the second time you go. The first time should be just for you to say anything you need to and get a feel for the process, but most counselors will do a session with the other important people in your life if you ask. Your mom probably doesn't know how she should be dealing with you and it probably really upsets her too that your relationship isn't great right now. A counselor could probably give her some great tips.

 

The title made me LOL.

 

Your problem reminds me of my own daughter actually.She left school at 16,got a job,at 17 moved out,and at 18 moved back home,which was fine initially.I expected her to be looking for a job.As time went on though,it became apparent she wasn't.My husband and I were both working full time.My youngest (15 at the time)was in school,studying hard.I started making suggestions to the unemployed daughter,re finding work.She wasn't interested.I'd tell her about job adverts I'd see in town windows?Not interested.I'd come home from work at 3pm and she would still be in bed.She also did nothing to help around the house.In the end,I asked her what she really wanted to do.She told me she wanted to do voluntary work in Africa.I told her I would fund the trip.She changed her mind.After a year,we'd had enough!She had a steady boyfriend who lived with a housemate.I told her she had a week to move out.She moved in with her boyfriend.Her bf then rang me to tell me he thought I was being mean,how upset she was etc.I filled him in.Two months later,he rang me told me I was right kicking her out.She had made no attempt to find work and help him out.They ended up splitting.She ended up coming home,after finding a job.Sometimes in life you have to tow the line.We've all had to do jobs we'd rather not do,to get by and pay our way.Get yourself ANY job and show your mother some respect.