After close to 20 yrs of relation I am getting into a new relation with a new gf (some months now) and we start discussing about the basic set up of our relation.... She is definitely against polyamory. The reason why we started to argue is cause I have a neighbor and she is quite attractive. I mention her from time to time. She is available but to some extent not really interested in me. Plus she already mentioned that a new relation would be only one with many freedoms. Matter of fact: If she would be interested in me, I guess I would have a hard time to think if I really wanna fuck her (or not) or start a relationship with her. Most preferred way would be in a relation with both of them, some kind of polyamory. Anyway, my new gf starts nowadays the discussion about how we should setup the relation. She clearly express her position and I agreed as well to not to go for polyamory. I didn't mention that it's for the very moment. But somehow she's sensing it.... Plus I am at the very moment not really interested in any other wife cause my gf makes me already busy.... I'm satisfied with the relation we have - nevertheless once she starts that discussion - hard to stop.... plus she is sensing - against that I can barely say a word....
I am lucky because my wife is bisexual and she was the one who first put her girlfriend into the bedroom with me so that the two of use could form a bond. Then she joined us and we lived in a poly triad for about 30 years. We never had a problem since we all loved each other and never even an argument, which my wife recently remarked on. We rarely discussed our relationship with our girlfriend. She knew that my marriage was the primary relationship without be told. She always made sure that my wife was OK if I asked her to do anything with just me even though my wife kept on telling her that anything goes. We each had our own bedrooms and we only went out as a threesome, even vacations, during the time our girlfriend was living with us. For us it was perfect and probably could never duplicate it again. None of us even got jealous. Our girlfriend even got married after living with us full time for 7 years. She went online to find a man who would be OK with her continuing her relationship with us and found him. We were never told what their arrangement was and told not to ask. After her marriage, our girlfriend split her time between us and her husband. We tried once to get her husband involved but he freaked out as soon as the sex began so he remained apart from our poly family. He was good though. He would fly out with his wife to join us on vacation, turn her over to us and then disappear until it was time to go home. For us, it just felt like our normal life since it was a great part of our adult life and all we knew. I caution that most of our poly married friends did not last due to jealousy or one or the other running off with a lover. None of them shared a lover as we did and I think that is why we lasted so long. Our girlfriend never tried to steal me away from my wife and my wife knew that our girlfriend is not someone I would leave her for. So there was no problem and a lot of love.
