What Do I Really Want?

Discussion in 'True Confessions' started by knavak05, Jun 29, 2015.

  1. knavak05

    knavak05 Members

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    So it all started when my boyfriend was away at college.. I had to be faced with the harsh reality of paying for school. I cannot afford to go live on a campus, so I did the next best thing.. go to a branch of a main university close to home while my boyfriend got to move away and enjoy the college life. He is the type of boyfriend that will give you his undivided attention while im in the same room as him, but when he's away I hardly hear anything from him. I hate being the type of girl that always bothers their boyfriends with endless amounts of texts when i know he doesnt really want to reply back to me. I eventually stopped texting so much and just let him do his own thing while away. Well all this made me feel very lonely. I resorted to filling that void I had elsewhere, and by elsewhere I mean with another person. I know this sounds bad but i just couldnt control myself, i was tired of feeling unwanted. I started texting this other guy, and things escallated pretty damn quickly. It went from asking him how he was doing to dirty talk in no time. I started feeling guilty, i love my boyfriend why do i need this other attention? When things started getting too real for me, when he wanted to actually kiss me and have sex with me i immediately regretted everything i had ever said to this other guy. I just wanted to erase everything, i couldn't even kiss the guy. I did say some pretty dirty things though. I lied to my boyfriend about the incident and he found out from a different source, hes given me a second chance but i cant help but feel that he hasnt really forgiven me in the least. What should i do to make this situation better?
     
  2. iamjustme

    iamjustme Wishful thinker HipForums Supporter

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    You think he wasn't doing anything?
    He is a young male surrounded by young females - all just recently freed from living with their parents and ready to "experience college".
    College was freaking fantastic, OMG do I miss those years!!! In high school, they were much-much more reserved and scared to death of what people think...in College - anything goes!
    And then they grow up.
    Girls are never as wild as they were in College.
    In all honestly - you have much less to feel guilty about than he likely does.
     

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