Ask An Insipidly Inept Question, Get An Incredibly Earnest Answer.

Ex: Where's the meteoroid that I put atop the blue carpet over my 5,000 year old new wrench that I use to brighten any lonely time in the Southern glaciers?

I think you might want try looking in the general area of the blue carpet, but if not there, ask for help, and perhaps start thinking about where you can get another one in case you can't find it..


When was the last time that someone noticed the first placement of the last yard?

 

Tuesday about alf past tree

 

If elsewhere was otherwise why would what was when be how why was where?

 

Because that is what they decided.

What if green and purple both looked like water that was twice filtered through a brita filtration system in a dream.

 

I'd check with your water utility and if nothing comes of that check with Brita about your filter, and either way try eating better before going to sleep.

If it wasn't as it was -- and it wasn't, then within what warehouse waits winter whales?

 

the UPS warehouse.

if speak yoda did properly would best class he took in those 900 years be english?

 

The best class that he took was likely Algorithms, Design and Analysis 1. He would have learned much from that class to aid him in converting his plain English sentences into yodese, on the fly.


If I want to get there, before now, what volume of time is needed to empty the bucket completely?

 

depends on the rate of speed in which the bucket is being filled.

why do people get upset about burning old glory when the proper way to destroy it is to burn it?

 

It has to do with whether or not the people burning it are saying things like, "Fuck America," or "Screw the U.S." through gritted teeth.

Where do house plants defecate?

 

They sit on the pot

Shouldnt a luna moth get a knife and cut a mouth hole?

 

The problem with that simplistic analysis is primarily that moths have no opposing digits with which to manipulate tools or cutlery. So,no.

If light were to travel faster than light and bump into a photon travelling in the other direction,would it be ok for it to say "I didn't see that coming?"

 

even if it did have a voicebox It would take sound 1000 times longer to catch up to the speed of the photon.

the medicine for jock itch is the same for athletes foot. shouldn't all embarrassing products also have a less embarrassing use that people can say they need it for.

 

Well,don't you feel a bit smug when you shake the powder down your keks in the changing room and say "I have a foot down there"? [Y'know y'DO]


How come the mental convolutions required to consider imponderables is significant in designating deficient cerebral armament?

 

Genetics.

When is mtv going to change the name to reality tv?

 

it doesn't warrant having that title, due to the odd interruption of the odd music channel, the % of reality shows on MTV, makes it MTV and not MTV reality.

What does the bass in a band have to be, to regard it as a rock band?

 

My favorite band sleater-kinney has no bass player and they are most definitely a rock band. So it does not have to be.

How does the peanut shell decide if 1,2,3 or more nuts will be inside it?

 

The twin or triple gene

Why is it important for cotton to have a thread count?

 

It will fall apart if there is no thread count.

Why does nobody ask what came first the frog or the tadpole?

 

Because it would spawn things

How is coffee roasted?

 

With a coffee roaster.

Why does it hurt when someone steps on your foot but not when you walk on them even though most of the time you are putting more weight on them?