Money - Is It An Issue Or Not?

If it would be True Love I would guess money wouldn't matter - but real life is little bit different and money plays some important role in everyday life. But also in the relationship?

It just came to my mind a comment of my gf reg. a visit in a coffee-shop - invitation to coffee OK or not OK .... but going out for dinner is it a set fact that man pay or is it toooo much for a woman? I mean if there is some kind of intention behind it like a fwb than this sounds natural... but relationship?

or the more general question: is money any kind of topic for a relation? ((I don't think you pay to shag your gf)
resp. how to split up the money ?
expectation from the opposite sex ???

 

Bitches gotta be loaded. loaded to through the roof.

 

I am back in the dating scene...I have not paid for any of the meals. I have been asked, therefore he pays. I do offer to pay and the gesture usually gets a look and a no way.

Honestly, I wouldn't date/get involved with a man that didn't have a job. I supported one man's ass for 15 long years. I will not do that again.

 

Im in love with the sweetest man, but he insists on paying for everything.. he sneaks money into my purse, and paid my rent w/o telling me... i know, that sounds like thatd be great, but when do i get to contribute? I am a hard working, independent, (mostly) and would love to treat him at some point. Hes not having it. I dont get it, shouldnt a man be happy that his woman isnt a gold digging bitch? I had to force him to let me pay for his toothpaste today. Fricking ridiculous, lol. Its the only "fighting" weve ever done.

 

Count yourself lucky iamher! I've been married twice,and both to men who can't/won't get their act together financially.I guess I am partly responsible for attracting that type of guy tbh.I come across as being strong and an independent type,which guys must interpret that as "She can look after herself,....and me"! I disagree.My interpretation is "Yes I'm strong and independent,and I expect you to look after yourself,financially and otherwise!" Unfortunately it caused the end of my first marriage,and problems in my second marriage.

 

I've never expected to be paid for and I would happily pay for him too at times.

 

Principles, expectations and money. They can save everything and they can fuck up everything

 

My man and I have been pretty 50/50 since the very beginning.

I like when guys pay for dinner on the first few dates, he doesn't have to but if he wants to I think it is a nice gesture. once it turns into a relationship I prefer it to be more equal. I dated a guy once who insisted on paying for everything and also bought me a lot of gifts. He refused to ever let me use my money. It made me really uncomfortable.

 

I feel more comfortable with an egalitarian relationship. I pay for my stuff, they pay for theirs...joint things are split 50/50. That way there are limited arguments about money, and when there are both of our opinions have equal weight. I wouldn't feel comfortable entering into a long term relationship if I couldn't pay my way through, or support myself if the partner decided to split.

 

I think 50/50 is good. That said, I WAS paying for a lot of my girlfriend's meals and drinks when I was visiting her in Europe(long distance relationship) last year. Given our age difference and also the situation that we were in back then, I suppose our payment arrangement was generally acceptable by my standards. Besides, she WOULD ask me whether it was her turn to pay or not, and if it was, I would let her pay. It was like, "tell you what, I'll buy us dinner later this evening so why don't you pay for our ice cream now?"

For a long distance couple like us, the bigger financial issue is the travel costs. Especially in an international, overseas kind of relationship, it gets really expensive whenever you and your partner want to actually spend time together in a physical sense. So if there's a money issue for us, it's the flight costs and the accommodation fees, plus car rental if we also wanted to drive.

 

I would say money does not matter but lifestyle can. For instance me and my partner love travelling and have been travelling for 4 years straight now, we pretty much never have much money but always enough to fund what we enjoy doing so we are happy. Taking little jobs here and there, anywhere we can. So although money does not matter if we could not fund our travelling we would have a problem with each other.

We have a single shared savings, and we don't expect each other to make or spend the same amount. It varies at any time between who is making and spending more or less. And we really don't mind as long as neither of us are greedy and we always have the savings for what we want to do.

I was even unemployed for a few months at one time and although she would try to help me and encourage me as I was on a bit of a downer being unemployed we never argued about it. I would just do more at home and make use of my spare time.

I think any women who is only interested in your money is not worth you time. If my partner expected me to 100% take care of all the finical side then that house better be damn clean when I get back with a full cooked meal, and an awesome sex life. Same applies to guys, I think once one person in the relationship starts to rely on the other to take care of them unless its a mutual agreement that both parties accept its time to take a look at things and see what needs to change.

 

Money is everything and nothing at all. If you have enough to pay your bills and a little to have fun life can be ok. If you're dead broke and not everything is paid life is hard. It goes on from there.
When I first got together with my wife she wanted to split all the bills equally tell our spending and bills went up. After awhile she couldn't keep up so that's when our incomes started being one. It makes sense to us, she was working full time I was working full time, put the money in one pile and do what is necessary. It's worked for us so money doesn't matter but we don't have to worry about how we are going to pay the electric bill.

 

Bitch better have my money!

 

They don't call me a bawler fo nuttin.

 

I think it depends how sensible you are too right?When I was married the first time around,I worked part time,and looked after our two kids.Husband worked full time.We had separate bank accounts.My husband was extremely selfish.He would spend money on motorbikes and firearms (He used to shoot at a range!lol)but didn't bat an eyelid when we had no water coming out of the taps,because he didn't pay the water bill on time!Nice! We both lost our fathers within 2 mths of eachother.He lost his father first.When he got the inheritance,he spent it all on himself.More motorbikes,and firearms etc.When I got my inheritance,I spent it on our house.Re roofed,landscaping,renovations inside etc,plus brought our kids some outside play equipment,clothes etc. I later left him! (He wouldn't leave the house,so I had no choice but to leave)Selfish a*******!

 

Doesn't sound very comforting - comforting in a way that both were happy about their own share. Well at least on your side :-/ Although I wonder if law wouldn't help you.

But anyway I agree it's a pain in the a** if you have to come forward and ask for $$$ - begging which seems obvious... It seems that's exactly the hook I'm looking for - how much is 'obvious' and how much is required to ask for? Especially when you share bed....

 

Generally whether with romantic interests or friends i think the person who invites you out is responsible for the bill unless its going on a trip or two an event like concerts and weekends to the beach which should be a communal investment.
Ive seen couples who strictly alternate who foots the bill for date nights, in which strictly the man pays for everything, bills are strictly split down the middle, and cases where the amount of money each partner makes determines proportionally how much of the household bills they pay. Ive also seen it done for couples to pool their funds with joint bank accounts where both have access, where accounts and access are completely seperate, and also where the accounts are seperate but both partners have a card as well as the information to check on the account standing.
In long term relationships for me personally the guy pretty much always covers dates, and regular expenses like cigarettes or gas in the car are paid for by which ever of us has the ability to get them at the time. When cohabitating Ive always done the bill responsibility based on money earned proportion, and kept accounts strictly seperate so that neither of our spending habits can effect the other person's financial status. This hasnt always gone over well with guys who've expected that once we live together everything but our tooth brushes become joint property.
Regardless of how you manage your money within your relationship, odds are that at some point if not regularly, you're gonna fight about the money and how its allocated because every individual has different priorities for their funds. Every person you get with will also have different ways of running their budget, and areas of which they excel and fail at. Its important to know your limits on what you'll tolerate, and how much you can handle both logistically as well as witg regard to your well being supporting your partner as much as being supported by them which ever is applicable on a case by case basis. I know some men and women who think the guy should be the sole provider, and some of both who would lose their mind at the what they see as indignity of being financially dependent.

 

My VERY smart Grandparents told me years ago when I had my first lease arrangement with a boyfriend that it was wise to not pay 50/50 on rent, but to do the math equation so that we were both paying equal amounts from our paycheck.

Is money an issue??? Hmph. I think fairness can be important. When I was first dating I'd pay for myself. In those relationships and at that time it made me feel good about myself and I think my partners respected that.

I'm female though, and I think some men feel it important for them to pay for things such as food on restaurant dates. (I'm fine with that). I can imagine situations where the person whose meal is paid for may feel like they own something such as sex. If that's okay with both parties than awesome. If it seems like that's how things are but doesn't feel right than some problem solving brainstorm may be a good idea. That can be a pretty terrible situation to be in for some people.

Of course to give a broad answer to the question, it's relationship to relationship.

It can suck to not have money to do fun activities. I actually head some years back that money problems/stress was the leading cause of break-ups. (???)