Is Needing To Poop Badly A Good Reason For Speeding?

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by intongues, Apr 23, 2015.

  1. intongues

    intongues The Wizard

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    It's happened to me a few times, that on the way home from somewhere i can feel my bowels just rumble and I need to get to a washroom asap.

    So I go faster than I should be to make it home in time..

    I always wondered what a cop would do if he pulled me over for speeding and I explained why I was..

    What would happen in that situation?


    Like to the point I'd have to get out of the car and shit on side of the road or shit my pants etc.. would he really keep me there the usual time for ticket etc?

    Has it happened to anyone?
     
  2. NoxiousGas

    NoxiousGas Old Fart

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    my wife got out of a ticket by telling the judge that was why she went through a red light,
    but it helps if the judge is some old guy and you are good looking with big boobs. ;)
     
  3. Pressed_Rat

    Pressed_Rat Do you even lift, bruh?

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    If it works for someone it's a good reason. Report back and let us know.
     
  4. rollingalong

    rollingalong Banned

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    it is a guaranteed ticket

    and if you have long hair or are black?

    they will delay you until your ass explodes in the car
     
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  5. deleted

    deleted Visitor

    shitting your own pants is much better than killing a family of four..
     
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  6. rollingalong

    rollingalong Banned

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  7. r0llinstoned

    r0llinstoned Gute Nacht, süßer Prinz

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    I keep one of these bad boys in my car for times like this. I've gotten to many tickets in the past.


    [​IMG]
     
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  8. SpacemanSpiff

    SpacemanSpiff Visitor

    extra large paper coffee cup does the same job and takes less space
     
  9. secret_thinker

    secret_thinker Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Needing to poop is probably the worst reason to speed, imagine having an accident and then being stuck in your car still needing to poop :D
     
  10. themnax

    themnax Senior Member

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    i sort of think its an even better reason for not having been in the car in the first place.
     
  11. rollingalong

    rollingalong Banned

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    good point....the airbag going off would definitely take care of the problem


    but would create a second worse problem
     
  12. Dude111

    Dude111 An Awesome Dude HipForums Supporter

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    I hope they would understand!!
     
  13. AstralBear

    AstralBear Feed the Bear

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    Wow, it must be fate that brought me to this post. Back in 2005, I had several wreckless driving tickets and I was one infraction away from being an assigned risk to my insurance company. When I was pulled over again, I told the officer that I was about to shit myself and to move out of the way. I jumped out of my car and forced a loaf out on the side of a major road right in front of him. He laughed a lot at me, and then he let me go with a warning. It worked for me.
     
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  14. What's the big deal where you would have to speed? Nobody's going to know you pooped your pants. Walk in the house like everything's cool, but you're just looking for something you forgot about. Go get some new pants. Hey, everybody has to go to the bathroom. Now you have a place to change your dirty pants. Wad your dirty underwear into a ball and stuff it into your pants. Hey, no one's going to notice. So what you had to take out the trash, or you forgot something in the car. See you in a minute, honey. Take the dirty underwear out of your pants, leave them in a bush, in a dumpster, stuff them down a storm drain. That's up to you. The point isn't that nobody has to find them, the point is that nobody can prove they're yours. That is your objective.

    Maybe this seems like a hassle. To me it's a thrill.
     
  15. intongues

    intongues The Wizard

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    You can shit your pants in pleasure all you want...
    I will avoid it as much as I can!

    .. and although you have every angle covered to be able to shit your pants and get away with it..
    I also noticed you never mentioned anything about a shower.

    I don't want to smell you!
     
  16. themnax

    themnax Senior Member

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    the lack of a train or bus, going where you want to go, when you want to go there, or needing to take more stuff with you then you can carry, are the only good reasons i can think of, for being in a car at all.
    inter-city trains and buses, generally tend to be equipped, with the necessary facility. though of course, local transit buses do not.

    a cargo van, which is the only kind of four wheeled vehicle i'd really like to own,
    can of course be equipped with a 'porta-pottie' a small chemical toilet made for just that purpose, small camper van conversions.

    or i suppose a pickup with a camper shell could be too.

    all you need then, is someplace to pull off the road for a few minuets, where there won't be too many people too soon too curious as to why you have done so.

    growing up in the woods as i did, the usual proceedure is to stop and find a good tree or several to hide behind to take care of things.

    one reason a car should always carry a roll of toilet paper.

    shitting your pants is rediculous. if you're in a city, a gas station or a fast food joint. if you're out in the country, a tree.
    if they say restrooms for customers only, you can almost always just buy a small cup of coffee or a fountain drink.

    it also helps if you avoid looking like someone who's likely to trash the place.
    which is WHY so many places say for customers only.
     
  17. Moonglow181

    Moonglow181 Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    never had this problem....Stan told me he has, though, and stopped in the woods and used leaves....ok.....at least he was near woods to stop at at the time....
     

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