So I know some people are going to get pissed at me for saying this, but I'm not trying to make people feel bad. I swear, I'm just saying how I feel about my age. I'm 20, and I know that's still young. But my problem has to do with my lack of experience. I didn't realize I'm gay until freshman year in college, and I'm going to a school that, despite being in the LA area, has a surprisingly small lesbian/bisexual girl population. As a result, I doubt I'll be able to start a relationship here. Online dating sucks because I don't think anyone is actually serious about starting a relationship - even when I get a reply, girls stop talking to me as soon as I try to continue the conversation. It's as if they expect me to come up with the perfect conversation starter, something that will cause a spark between us. But I can't do that. Generally, I'm a good conversationalist face-to-face, but how am I supposed to create chemistry over a machine in exactly one exchange? And I feel like that's not a fair expectation either. Anyway, that's not really what this topic is about. I'm just worried because of my lack of experience with dating. I don't know what I'm doing. How do I find girls who are into girls? How do I approach them? And it's nerve-wrecking, because from forums and chats and stuff, most girls who are lesbian seem to have had girlfriends at some point. And I'm worried because I'm in the prime of my life, and if I don't take advantage of that, what if I'll be forever alone? T.T Does anyone have any advice?
fuck online dating, just go out with your friends to a few bars. once you see how awkward guys are, you will feel alot better. seriously, you have no competition, and most girls are a little bi anyway.
Sort of sums it up. Don't try and find the Magic Pudding. You're just 20. Heck 99% of people are awkward, self-conscious and insecure about themselves at that age. A terrible analogy, but you're like a rookie dded to the pro-list. It's going to be a few years before you're seriously good enough to play in the top team. In the meantime - enjoy what life offers you. Suck up all the experiences. Probably the last thing you, or most people yur age these days needs is a relationship. Discover yourself, discover what being gay means - it can be a helluva lot of fun finding out, I'm sure there will be a few tears and heartaches involved - who didn't have that at 20?? But they pass and you will be a stronger, better person for it. Don't rush life. Enjoy it instead.
I have a few friendships online with women that I could see myself getting serious with if I was ever so far inclined to do so, I don't think online is the worst thing ever at all, lots of happy stories come out of it. -shrug-
Not to be judgmental, but I would certainly not go to a gay/lesbian bar to meet a woman. I frequent one of them down here with my girlfriend, and I'm telling you that a lot of the lesbian/bisexual women I've met are very promiscuous. While each person has to do what is right for them, the OP states that they want a relationship. I don't know why people are so down on internet dating. You have a profile that outlines a basic description of your personality and what you're looking for. Sure, you end up wasting time chatting with the wrong people, but it's better than going on several dates with people you don't know and have an even higher chance of them not being compatible because there's no screening process.
