Constant Thoughts About Gay Sex And Being Told What To Do By Older Men

Hello, I've never posted anything on a forum, but for some reason I've decided to try it. I'm a 26 year old guy, I consider myself to be very open minded about life and everything surrounding us. I'm very kind, thoughtful and I would say a smart man. I love women and only women, for me it feels very natural, but here's the thing... Since about 13 years old I've been experiencing strange thoughts about a man watching me and telling what to do (sexually). Since 13 I was on webcam sites communicating with older men, I remember how each time I pretended I don't know how to masturbate and would get them to teach me and watch me do it on the webcam... That was only online, in real life I was interested ONLY in girls, nothing attracted me to men. So that continued for years.. at one point I was so curious that I went over to a mans house to receive a massage and oral sex. After it happened I ran out of the house and ran home feeling extremely guilty and wrong doing, I got in the shower and washed everything off myself, all those thoughts all that wrong doing... Years went by and I still had this tendency to go on webcam sites, communicate with gay men and let them tell me what to do on webcam. All this time I was living a normal life, seeing girls and even had a long 5 year relationship. 1 year ago I had another gay experience, I was in Italy alone, for work, I was drunk and visited a gay website. An interesting man called me and came picked me up, took me to a restaurant, we had dinner and went back to his place. So there I was with a strange unknown man in a country where I know nobody, drinking at his place. In the end I was very drunk and remember only how he took me to bed, performed oral sex on me and then I was in the shower again for a few hours... So now here I am, 26 years old, I know that I want a real family and I know that I will find the right woman that will become the mother of my children and I will love them with all my heart, because for me that's the meaning of life, to love and to give! But the feeling is still there..I'm even thinking how it would feel to do oral sex on a guy myself... even anal sex, I have a feeling it would feel amazing as I have many times myself using different things to pleasure my anus. So I'm worried that it will continue forever, I can't understand why it's happening, I know it's all in my mind, somewhere deep down. Would really appreciate any thoughts or help... Thank you!

 

You're bisexual, darling. Embrace it

 

Mate go with it. It's no big deal.

 

The only issue I see wrong here is a 13 year old going on to cam sites. That is more than a little creepy and I think illegal. The number of people you could get in trouble for that is astounding.

C/S,
Rev J

 

Love & Worship THE COCK!!! That is what it's all about :devil: